Please help!

[almost free]

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Oh God, back on day 1 again, too. Just in total despair right now. I feel I will never escape this hell. I simply can't seem to stop for more than a few days at a time.

I was reading everone's responses to Merlot and was moved by the unconditional support and the kindness from everyone. And the open minded responses for relapsers to count their days in whatever way helps them not to be mired in guilt and failulre.

I have always felt overwhelmed by the fixation on days, because I have struggled for so many years with little success. It doesn't help to add to the constant sense of guilt and failure. I agree with those who believe that people are definitely moving forward, for every day they are AF, even if those days are not consecutive. And they should be applauded for that effort. Progress, not perfection.

I had two years of sobriety at one point, but it took five years of failure to get it. Then I lost it and have struggled in vain to find my way back. I'm afraid I'm never going to make it back. Please help!

I wasn't sure if I should start a new thread in asking for support, but everyone responding here to Merlot are people that I recognize since joining and I feel safer among you all.

Please, someone respond to me. I am truly in despair and feel like just giving up. I feel like I am one of those people who will never make it back.

[theonlyway]

Please help!

I'm starting out and on day 2. Don't give up

[Alcoholic]

Please help!

Yes, just do whatever you need to do get the support you need. Don't worry about what others think. Ignore those who are harsh and criticize. This is about you finding your own way to sobriety.

[almost free]

Please help!

Thank you, only way. Please God, let this be the last relapse I ever have. I truly can't endure much more. Thank you for your encouragement.

[almost free]

Please help!

Thank you alcoholic. I've always admired how engaged you have been from the beginning. Always encouraging those who need help. Not afraid to speak your mind, even if others don't agree. I've always loved your posts.

[Starfish1]

Please help!

Hang on, AF! Please don't despair! You are in a very good place to get some help. There are many wise and caring people here and we all know the feeling of despair and of thinking we will never find a way out. Keep posting and reading posts. Get a plan, even if it's just for today. Just get through today and you will feel better tomorrow. Make sure you have plenty of good food to eat and drink lots of water. Take your supplements if you have found they are helpful to you. Take time for yourself and try not to tackle anything too overwhelming today. Try not to think about tomorrow. Stick close!!!

XOXO Star

[Byrdlady]

Please help!

Almost...
If this place kicked you out for multiple starts I'd have been out a long time ago. This is HARD as hell! I caved in at the least sign of trouble! Until one day, I didn't....that day I dug my heels in and I said, NO! HELL NO! AL will not take one more day of my life!
It is so discouraging....but it only takes a couple of day AF to feel the fog lift. I know you can do it...I've seen you do it.
No one here is going to judge you, because every one of us have walked in your shoes. Surround yourself with good things today...things you like do eat and interesting things to do. All you gotta do, is get thru this day. I believe that so much that I made it my byline. You can do this.....YOU can get thru this day. B

[FreeFly]

Please help!

Hi Almost Free, sorry to hear you feeling so down. Remember you?re feeling withdrawal anxiety and it will pass, promise! Can you make a mental note of how you?re feeling right now, then let it go. Be kind to yourself today. Drink lots of water and try and get a little food inside yourself. Cosy up with a movie or something similar. You?re back and that?s a great move so pat on the back please. Yes, make a note of your recent AF days and try not to get too hung up on whether they?re consecutive or not. You WILL get there again. You?ve done it once and you mentioned somewhere else that something just ?clicked? one day. Well, it will click again honey. Hang in there. Big hug :l

Good luck to you too TheOnlyWay

[DfromCT]

Please help!

Hi, af,

One of the things that I liked and attracted me to MWO was that it was a beacon of hope that seemed to go against the traditional "all or nothing" approach. I won't go into the details, but if you want to read the first installment or two of my blog (which is really just a re-post of emails to a support group of friends and family members early in my journey) you'll see how I feel about it. Funny thing, just an hour or go someone turned me on to a Harvard Addiction Specialist that feels the same way. Dr. Lance M. Dodes (whom you can learn more about here: http://www.lancedodes.com/) doesn't necessarily talk about all or nothing but bucks the trend in saying we aren't powerless, among other things.

I think you need to go easier on yourself, and get back on the wagon. You should make an effort, and if needed get professional help to do so, to get at least 30 days AF under your belt. But if you fail, consider the days that you were AF as big steps in the right direction.

For me, the extreme starter kit (sold in the MWO store on this website) was critical. I also will tell you that I took Naltrexone, Rx'd by an MD, for about 45 days or so before tapering off. The Hypnotherapy cd's helped tremendously as well.

Read or re-read RJ's book. Take steps outside of deciding to quit cold turkey (such as the extreme starter kit and/or professional help) and you'll find it's possible to once again string together a longer term of abstinence.

GOOD LUCK.

D

[almost free]

Please help!

Thank you all, star, byrd, freefly, dfrom ct. Don't know how I'm going to get through the day, but I will do whatever I have to. Really bad shakes. Feel like death warmed over.Thanks, all for your encouragement and advice.

[Byrdlady]

Please help!

AF, EAT! Eat until you are full. Remember those times you've said, I cannot eat another THING! Like that.... it helps a LOT! B

[K9Lover]

Please help!

Almost Free:l

Hang in there my friend. I know it seems so overwhelming, but like Byrdie says, just get thru today, that's all you gotta do. I was in HELL for so long, I can completetly feel your pain, if I could take it away from you I would. All I can do is add my suggestions to the other great ones you've already gotten. I only drank at home, so I had to change my drinking "spot" (the living room). I rearranged furniture, moved lamps around, anything to give it a different vibe. I had to tell my brain that "we don't drink here anymore!". Secondly, I kept myself super busy...I cleaned closets, organized the garage, lined up my shoes and folded my socks...ANYTHING to stay busy. Many nights I went to bed at 8:00pm, just to end the day! Believe me, this hell only lasts a few days...if it stayed this hard forever, there would probably be no (or few) success stories here. Stick close to us...we know what you're going through. Take it one day, hour, minute or second at a time. I'm sending you strength and hugs.

K9

[K9Lover]

Please help!

Byrdlady;1403732 wrote: AF, EAT! Eat until you are full. Remember those times you've said, I cannot eat another THING! Like that.... it helps a LOT! B

So true! And find a new favorite drink too...I tried everything until I figured out I love sweetened sun tea (homemade)...I actually look forward to it at night like I USED to look forward to beer...you CAN retrain your brain... Stay strong :l

[Lavande]

Please help!

Glad to see you back Almost Free!

Please don't despair, it doesn't help, just keeps you feeling helpless.
The best thing we can do for ourselves is put together a good strong plan! Go through the Tool box & use whatever you need. A good plan together with a strong commitment will help you reach your goals.
I also found the MWO Hypno CDs to be very helpful in learning to relaz without AL & change my thinking
Get all of the AL out of your house & vow to buy no more.....that worked for me! I stayed home & out of harm's way for a couple of months after my quit too.

Wishing you the best on your journey, you can do this

Lav

[mama bear]

Please help!

just know we are here for you
the memory of my last two day hangover stays fresh in my mind.......
drink fluids, sleep, pray, whatever helps.....
:l mama