What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

[Catbuddy]

Hi guys,

Pinecone brought up a point that moved me to start a thread on the holidays. This has been on my mind for a few weeks. It's such a heavy drinking and temptation time. So I thought I would reach out to ask, "What are your plans/strategies to manage the many parties and holiday dinners, the gifts of AL, the rum drenched confections." I'm still formulating my plans, and need ideas! I'll share some of mine as I get them down.

Catbuddy

[lolab]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Hey cat....Here is a post about Christmas - that hit so close to home for me. I read it many many times last year. It doesn't address some of the specifics that you mentioned - as in parties, gifts and whatnot - but I know you have a little guy - and might appreciate this.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...way-53891.html

[lolab]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

This was a great post by Byrdie about Thanksgiving.

Byrdie: "Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil.

You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around.

Before you know it the solitary glass of wine is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...

Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else?

The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went. (the line that spoke to me...)

You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket.

BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels.

By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie"

[lolab]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

I think you're so smart to start thinking of this now. It's a great time to come up with a plan to deal with all of those things.

As far as parties and gifts go - I think you have to think ahead and do as you've been doing. For the parties, only go to the ones that are absolutely necessary this year....and always have your planned drink in hand BEFORE anyone offers you something. AND have a quick escape planned out if needed.

And for the gifts...if you haven't told anyone that you've stopped drinking - try to re-gift them as soon as possible - or dump them. Don't let them sit around. If you have told people, you can easily give them away - just saying that you don't want to be tempted....

[nurdl]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Cat what a terrific idea to create this thread. Lolab, thanks for posting the link. What an image that story has left in my mind. I plan to think of you all sitting on my shoulders keeping me clean. I will have the planned drink in hand and plenty of no thank yous to filling up my wine glass. Actually, I'll remove it from my place at the table.

I TTDP and I do worry terribly about hidden alcohol that may be used in sauces and desserts. That's going to be tricky but my health, my sobriety, my family, and my life is more important than a family member who is hurt because I would not indulge in their alcohol drenched creations.

I'll need to get tricky with the champagne toasts too... hmmm. Well if I could stash bottles about the house I can be just as clever with mocktails!

[Dottie Belle]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Great time to start this thread...it may take me a month to figure this out...reading all the ideas here will surely help..
Dottie

[Starfish1]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Thanks for starting this thread, Cat!

I need to get a list going too.

One thing I am going to try to do is concentrate more on the "meaning" of the holidays, rather than the partying that is associated with it all. Maybe for Thanksgiving, I will start doing something like a daily gratitude list. This is something that I know a lot of folks find useful and I just need to DO IT!

I have already been worrying a lot about Christmas. Not really about drinking through it, just living through all the stress. I don't have much money this year, due to kids college expenses, last year's vacation-which still hasn't been paid off and some medical expenses incurred by my DH last summer. I hate not having money to spend on my girls (although they are all old enough to understand). It is stressful. I will try my best to focus on the meaning of the Christmas season and the fact that so many people are so much worse off than I am. I will also try to help those in need as much as I can.

Hey here's an idea- We can all go to Byrdie's house for the holidays- there won't be any alcohol served there. And she would box our ears if we even thought of the stuff- Right Byrdie? :coolsanta:

[lolab]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

careful Star - if I know Byrdie, she's already setting the table for all of us! :H

[Starfish1]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

HAHA, and thanks so much for your posts and that link to "one too many's" post. That hit home!

[FarfallaP]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

thanks very much for starting this thread, Cat Buddy, and Lolab, SPECIAL thanks for reposting the "Sober Christmas" thread I was looking for earlier today. It helped me so much last year, and I plan to retread it frequently this year. FFP

[scottish lass]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Hi Cat, I have seen you around, but never said hello - we are neighbours of a sort - I live in the SJ valley and work in Oakland.
The title of your post caught my eye - and then I saw LoLabs reminder of last years thread that I hung out on.
My only real success started just after Thanksgiving last year and survived till end of January - I have wondered often how I survived Christmas and NY to lapse again, and am wondering if I can achieve success this year and hang on.
A few thoughts - my lapse was caused by the holiday gift of an excellent bottle of wine, my favourite and way out of my price range - I could not bring myself to regift or to throw it away, so thinking I was cured (yeah right) - I drank it and did not stop - so a plan is needed for gifts.
I am a stubborn person (to a point) - I wonder if the challenge to abstain over the holidasy felt so great meant that I had to succeed, however if that was the case I am not sure why I haven't managed to stop again?
One thing that worked for me before a really tough challenge, like the work party (with free drink tickets and a hotel room paid for) was to write my next mornings post on email, save it, read it when I felt a craving or weakening and that reminded me of what I wanted to say the next day.
I do also feel that the big challenges I manage to think out fairly well, it is the unanticipated happenings that catch me off guard and thats when I slip....
I do look forward to hearing what others say. I am not trying to concentrate too much on the holidays yet as it does scare me, but to approach with some ideas and a level of confidence will surely help

[lolab]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

me too, Farfalla - me too...

[Catbuddy]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Wow, I feel like I planted beans last night and a huge beanstalk grew! Great response.

Lola, I will print the holiday posts to buoy my resolve. It pained me to read the Christmas one ? Santa has been less than my boy deserved, too. Not this year.

Hi Scottish Lass. Wine is very dangerous where we live. I?ve been developing my knowledge and palate for 22 years here. A great bottle is sublime. BUT deadly now. I?m going to regift right away. I?ve got a good friend who I will bring into my decision to quit soon here. I?m going to give the wine to her. (Every year, I get at least three bottles from colleagues at work).

The real challenge is the company party. We are only 16 people, so nowhere to hide. It is a dinner at a nice restaurant, with good wine. No way not to be noticed; in the past, I have always drank wine at company events. The last people I want to explain this to are my work colleagues. I am an executive in this company, and an AL problem is reason for losing my role. SO. I?m going with ?Focused on my health, and eliminating AL is part of that.? I really hope folks leave it at that. People are constantly eliminating food groups where I live ? caffeine, gluten, dairy! I live in the land of high-maintenance eaters. So this will put me into that flow, which is much safer than the ?problem drinker? label. Someday we will be seen as strong by others. Until then, I will not own that label.

I'm still deciding on my Thanksgiving and Christmas plans, and whether to spend them with family. Another group with whom the decision to stop AL will be frought with emotional baggage.

Cat

[FarfallaP]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Oops I meant to say, re read the sober holiday post, not retread it!! FFp

[Pinecone]

What is your Holiday Plan for Sobriety?

Catbuddy, the focused on health reason is a great one. Ultimately it is so true too. I found to just be very confident about the one reason (when "explaining" to groups I'm not making a full disclosure to), and don't over-explain yourself. We make a bigger deal of our not drinking than other people do, at least in my experience.

Lolab, thanks for posting the sober christmas thread, that is a great one. Last year when my little girl opened her present and saw the owl toy we got her she had such a big reaction and I wasn't ready for the flood of emotion I got. I got pretty choked up by it. Go back to my old way of "celebrating?" A rotten hangover and early afternoon drinking to dull it all away? No effin way. Alot of emotions come out at that time of year. I want to be present for all of it now. Having a plan is the key, friends!