Regardless of how bad things get

[Slaythefear]

alcohol is never the answer. The truth is, it will only make things worse. You give that monster an ear and a little wiggle room and it's going to make a nest and work its way back into becoming your go to buddy. It's hard for me to admit weakness after standing strong and confident in my ability to control this enemy, but when things went from bad to worse in my life, that's what started to happen again. First I thought I could moderate with just one or two, but that is all it takes to allow that wiggle room so when stress, heartache or bad times hit, it becomes so easy to just say to 'hell with it'. Thankfully, I've recognized what I've allowed to occur and feel humbled enough to not overestimate my ability to control it and underestimate its control over me. Ok, so there is a enemy out there I can't beat in face to face combat. Confidence is a good thing, but overconfidence is not. Don't turn your back on the enemy. Phew! Battlestations again.

Humbly yours,

Slay

[Patrick]

Regardless of how bad things get

EXCELLENT POST Slayer I shall save it and refer to it in times of need.
Thanks

[Quest for the key]

Regardless of how bad things get

How very true x

[paulywogg]

Regardless of how bad things get

we luv you slay! your post is dead on,let it back in just a little and boom! hope your doing well!

[Mootsbill]

Regardless of how bad things get

Very true slay, they say in AA there is nothing in the world that a drink will make better, I always refer to my hubby who likes a drink but never uses it as I do/did. If he is stressed or wound up about something he would always try and tackle the problem as I would reach for the bottle! This is eps hat, I believe, defines us problem drinkers from others.
A good friend of mine said its ok to get merry and switch off for a bit as long as you are aware that tomorrow your problems will remain.
Xx

[Slaythefear]

Regardless of how bad things get

Thanks everyone.

Moots, even I am a bit taken back at how it started to get a grip on me again. I guess I wasn't completely accepting the fact that I am not a person who is able to control my alcohol use. I thought I had it nailed, but just a little sliver of an edge and it became clear I was going to go full blown problem drinker again. I'm not a daily drinker, but when I drink, I make a big dent in the bottle and in my life. My hangovers keep me from daily drinking.

Time for full scale acceptance. No bargaining; no wiggle room. It's a dangerous place for me that has to be left behind for good. I can't control it. I guess I'm beginning to understand the true meaning of powerlessness. One leads to hammered!

Seat belts on? Let's go!

[kuya]

Regardless of how bad things get

Slay.....we are powerless over many things in life, the weather, the toxins in our air and food, other people's behaviours and beliefs .......AND the effects of alcohol......so what!
It is only the illusion that we have held for so long that we were in control of it that causes us pain.
Imagine if we had been told the truth from childhood, and warnings were printed on every alcohol container 'caution, regular ingestion WILL lead to addiction' just like is printed on cigarettes( except in the third world cos we don't REALLY care about them!) ..... Very few of us would be here today

[Slaythefear]

Regardless of how bad things get

Posted in NN, but I want a follow up here. (easier to find)

I wonder if any of you keep a journal as you journey through your AF time or life transformation processes? I'm continuing to purge toxic people, things and thoughts out of my life. This is not an easy process and the breakdowns are hell, but necessary to move forward. I picked up my journal from my last AF go around today and how enlightening I found it is to read back through my thoughts. You may be surprised how much wisdom you actually have to tell yourself when you are doubting your current decisions for change in your life or with AL. We have two brains working against us on several fronts when we face making changes. It helps to review why you have made those decisions. It can lend you strength in times of weakness so you don't step backward and fall back in your hole.

Just some food for thought.


I'm not posting on the roll call as I've decided this time for me days don't count, but the decision to stay AF for life. I'll mark down the last day I ever took a drink, but not the days. Working my thought process a bit different in that I just am not a drinker, period. I don't need poison ever! I need to straighten out my life, take care of myself and understand that alcohol is never the answer to any situation. It was effective to count days the first time around, but I think this time, there is no wiggle room. It's a final farewell.

Let my friend courage be my go to buddy. I'm biting off a lot to chew at one time.

Congrats to all who are fighting and winning this battle. If it was easy, we wouldn't need this place.:l

Love,

Slay

[Slaythefear]

Regardless of how bad things get

kuya;1408753 wrote: Slay.....we are powerless over many things in life, the weather, the toxins in our air and food, other people's behaviours and beliefs .......AND the effects of alcohol......so what!
It is only the illusion that we have held for so long that we were in control of it that causes us pain.
Imagine if we had been told the truth from childhood, and warnings were printed on every alcohol container 'caution, regular ingestion WILL lead to addiction' just like is printed on cigarettes( except in the third world cos we don't REALLY care about them!) ..... Very few of us would be here today

Accepting that powerlessness over things we can't change can be difficult and heartbreaking at times. I believe it's key to finding peace and letting things go that aren't working in your life. I'm working through that on several fronts right now as I've mentioned. 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is presently ringing very loud. Care to arm wrestle when I'm through?

Love,

Slay

[Next, please]

Regardless of how bad things get

Thanks for the post, Slay. I needed it :0

[kuya]

Regardless of how bad things get

Slaythefear;1409176 wrote: Accepting that powerlessness over things we can't change can be difficult and heartbreaking at times. I believe it's key to finding peace and letting things go that aren't working in your life. I'm working through that on several fronts right now as I've mentioned. 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is presently ringing very loud. Care to arm wrestle when I'm through?

Love,

Slay

I will take you up on that arm wrestle Slay, so glad you are back and so determined.

Was the trip positive for you? It seems to have strengthened your resolve ......which has to be good

[Slaythefear]

Regardless of how bad things get

Moll's quote: "there are two key things to my present spell of sobriety that are different to previous failed attempts. One is HUMILITY - and the other is total unabridged HONESTY --- to myself and others."


**Right on, Molls! Accept the truth. "The truth shall set you free."



Kuya's quote: "Was the trip positive for you? It seems to have strengthened your resolve ......which has to be good."


*It helped me to understand, clear up, and define a couple uncertainties I had. That is always good because then I can make proper decisions with facts/reality. Staying in limbo is a terrible place to be and gives AL a leg up. You keep bouncing around with no real conclusion or direction which can make you crazy...you know, 'insanity'. lol When I returned, I executed a couple decisions which made me cry in pain and have an AL binge because it was so hard for me, but now I feel better having made it. I walked through the fear and emotions to get to the next place I need to go and that is empowering. Taking the bull by the horns and doing what YOU KNOW and have known you need to do, but just couldn't do because of guilt or fear, etc. This has strengthened my resolve. Accepting what I can change and changing it and accepting what I can't and letting it go. Letting go is still ongoing, but I'm moving forward and it is giving me strength in knowing I do have the power to do that.


Hmmm...I better get those arm weights and resistance bands back out.

Hope all is well for you, Kuya. Home issues getting resolved?

Love,

Slay

[paulywogg]

Regardless of how bad things get

these are your words slay,this is the real you,i hated hearing you so sad in your depression post,im so glad you took control of the situation!regardless of how bad things get.

[Slaythefear]

Regardless of how bad things get

paulywogg;1421404 wrote: these are your words slay,this is the real you,i hated hearing you so sad in your depression post,im so glad you took control of the situation!regardless of how bad things get.

Wow, Pauly! That sure is like a wake up call. I posted a follow up on the depression thread. It appears I may have found the largest component of what sent me into the black hole to begin with. It explains part of it anyway and explains why I have felt so lousy lately. Mix up an infection, overdoing things/stress, and some people's behaviors upsetting me and bam!

Today is a new day. On the antibiotics and will work through to the brighter side. Thanks, girl.

:l

Love,

Slay