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    #1

    HOW?

    How do people just STOP? I see that on this site people have been AF since 09, etc....how? I know there isn't a magic pill, I've tried a few, topa, nal, and bac, kudzu, L-Glute, and so on....I can't say I haven't tried, but it just doesn't happen for me. I don't know if I have myself already set up for failure....

    The longest I've gone AF is 6 months, then foolishly I thought, 'What the hell' and it all came crashing down after that. Since ten, I haven't been able to stop for more than a couple days.

    I would really like to be a whole person again, be happy, have my husband not upset with me.....but how?
    Tags: None
    #2
    HOW?

    well, we don't "just stop". we work at it everyday. we cultivate a new way of life, and that starts with realizing you need some support, so welcome...get to know the place, and feel free to ask questions and jump in on htreads that interest you!

    10-06-2012

    Comment

      #3
      HOW?

      Hi phin

      I know how you feel, I've been drinking a bottle of wine every night for years, but then I had to move away from family friends and things have increased to 2-3 bottles a day/ night my husbands furious too, I hide the real amount I drink he thinks it's maybe a bottle and a half, i am on my second day cold turkey and it's murder,

      How much do you drink? I've tried o target the problem times by organizing something else to do at these times, but today I've found it difficult o I've avoided the supermarket as I'm too tempted


      Ana x

      Comment

        #4
        HOW?

        Phin:

        How did you stay AF for 6 months that time?
        Alcoholic (or Ally)

        "Only a fool knows everything.
        A wise man knows how little he knows."

        Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

        Comment

          #5
          HOW?

          Phin, if you have made it six months AF, you have done something AMAZING, and if you did it once, you can surely do it again.

          We all use different techniques, or meds. There is no ONE SIZE FITS ALL. In reading your post I think I found the key though. You said you were AF until you decided to try a drink again.

          Some people on this planet just cant moderate AL, and some can. I might suggest that you might not be a good candidate for moderation.

          Dont treat it like a life sentence in jail, cuz its not, its quite the opposite. You will feel free again, free from the bonds of AL.

          Set some small goals.......1 day 7 days 14 days and the ever important 30 day. Dont try to bite off too much at first, its about baby steps and changing the way your "AL brain" works.

          It will convince you that you NEED a drink, but we all know that people dont NEED AL to survive. We did just fine without it before we knew what it was.

          Read, post, and come here a lot, its a great place with plenty of knowledge and support


          Good luck! You can dewwwwwwww eeeeeeeeeeeet!
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

          Comment

            #6
            HOW?

            Hi Phin!!

            bettygirl;1410474 wrote: well, we don't "just stop". we work at it everyday. we cultivate a new way of life, and that starts with realizing you need some support, so welcome...get to know the place, and feel free to ask questions and jump in on htreads that interest you!

            ^^^^That!!

            Have you read the My Way Out book? It sounds like you have tried at least pieces of the My Way Out program but I'm not sure if you tried to follow the full protocol? If not, that might be a good place to start!

            I too did a stretch of AF (60 days for me) and then drank, and had a heck of a time getting back on board. I think it took me 8 months of flopping around after the relapse to finally get to my sobriety date. But it finally happened and if you keep working on it, it can happen for you too. Don't give up.

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

            One day at a time.

            Comment

              #7
              HOW?

              To be honest, I don't remember how I made it 6 months AF. I just did. I'm hoping to 'just do it' again this time. I'm a little angry.....angry that I have this affliction, angry that I can't be like everyone else and just have a couple. I'm angry that I let myself get this way--I never used to be. I need to get over it. I need to realize that I don't need AL to have fun and I will be a better person because of it.

              Comment

                #8
                HOW?

                Hi Phin. Hope you find a way to let go of the anger and embrace the new possibilities a life of FREEDOM from the white hot need for AL.

                I started by downloading the book. I don't think I would be where I am had I not done that.

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                One day at a time.

                Comment

                  #9
                  HOW?

                  Hi Phin,

                  Two things made a big difference for me since joining MWO!

                  First was finding out I had to make a PLAN. A good plan, just for me that would cover all of my drinking triggers especially anger & lonliness.
                  Second was commiting myself to my quit as if my life depended on it & it did! I just couldn't go on disappointing myself & my family. I found the MWO Hypno CDs very helpful in changing my thinking

                  Wishing you the best!
                  Lav
                  AF since 03/26/09
                  NF since 05/19/09
                  Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    HOW?

                    Hey Phin, sounds like we are somewhat the same. I didn't drink for the first 5 mos. this year. Then wham...took me all summer to get back on then did just shy of a month and wham again. This has been my pattern for several years now. The drinking I know is injurious and sooo not worth it. You bring up one very good point ~Anger~ which I think may be one thing I have yet to explore but lately have been thinking on it. Seems to me I go so far and then the anger over various things overwhelms me and voila alcohol to the 'rescue' followed by months of trying to stop again. I am going to look into dealing w/anger and I thank you for bringing it up. ~~ Also as others have said if you did it before you can do it again. I can too, I just don't seem to be able to stay away ~~~ you definitely deserve the life you want, so.....go for it.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      HOW?

                      Phin;1411115 wrote: To be honest, I don't remember how I made it 6 months AF. I just did. I'm hoping to 'just do it' again this time. I'm a little angry.....angry that I have this affliction, angry that I can't be like everyone else and just have a couple. I'm angry that I let myself get this way--I never used to be. I need to get over it. I need to realize that I don't need AL to have fun and I will be a better person because of it.
                      Hi Phin:

                      You sound so MUCH like me! I am almost six months with slips..that's how I think of it. I don't do the day 1 bevasue that would derail me personally. I need to think of this journey in a very holistic view- sounds counterintuitive but this aproach works for me.

                      I will not go back to my bottle of wine a night which in fact I haven't done that in about ....ummm you knwo i'm not sure...I htink about 2 years...But don't let that fool you! I picked up a rum and tonic habit right away so...

                      I was able to get rid of the wine mostly because my bestest friend got sober and so just being around her, wanting her to be proud of me, wanting to keep our friendship growing and good, well that was a real motivator though I would never have said so at the time. All those thoughts and feelings just crept in little by little everyday almost without my noticing.

                      What keeps me going now is 1. Thinking of being AF as a another part of my life. The Journey so to speak which ready or not here I come.
                      2. Health. I am 50. My kids are young. I need to stay alive until the grandkids!
                      3. Money. I am such bargain yard sale gal at heart I HATE spending money on stuff I doen't really need and so ..voila!

                      These are just little things but they are the THINGS that have gotten into my head and helped me do the work which has kept me going pretty good

                      You will have your personal list I am sure and it takes a bit to see the list but fear not Phin. The fact that you are here to begin with is really part one of the list.

                      Step 2 is out there as well. Stay close!

                      Hugs and heart!
                      :l:h
                      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                      Comment

                        #12
                        HOW?

                        Hi PHIN and welcome back. I remember we spoke before.

                        It is not the physical addiction that is your problem but your thinking. Like you, my first quit I did without knowing how. I drank again thinking I could get away with it and then took eight months to get sober again. This is because, like you, I am an alcoholic. My long time use of alcohol has changed my physiology so I can NEVER go back. I accept that fact and THIS TIME find it so much easier to welcome a lifetime sober.

                        The answer to your problem is your anger at never being able to drink.

                        First thing though is to get stopped for a bit and start to change your thinking. Drinking alcohol is common NOT NORMAL. Alcohol is a poison suitable for preserving food or as a fuel for running mechanical engines. It is NOT suitable for running human bodies.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          HOW?

                          Thanks so much everyone! Everything you tell me makes so much sense to my 'rational' brain, but when my 'irrational' brain kicks in, I'm a mess.

                          Things have just got so out of control, my life has got out of control...I would like some boring normalcy.

                          Comment

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