Hello everyone.
I've had a bit of a shite weekend if I am to be completely honest. I fell, metaphorically, all too quickly. After 7 weeks AF I had done much thinking about how and if I could let AL back in... And i very consciously did let it back in, last Sunday, with a wee drink at my folks (the most moderate of moderate drinkers).
Fine.
Monday AF. All good.
Tuesday. A pint in a pub i used to frequent. Ok...
Wednesday. Ditto. Uh-huh...
Thursday. Celebratory drinks for a friends' leaving do. 4 pints. Ok... so it was a special occasion, right?
Friday. Pint after work, at work, by mysel'... then BOOM! out comes the vino collapso... a bottle of that, plus a couple more cans.
Saturday. BOOM! Yet more vino and pints (all by myself i hasten to add. I mean, it's not as if i'm out with mates and have this very active social life. No, no. Just me getting p'd with me.
Sunday. I climbed a mountain today. I have climbed a mountain these past few weeks here, only to fall off. Funny how it takes weeks to climb Everest yet it only took Felix 4mins 19secs to fall from space. Skydiver Baumgartner lands safely on Earth after supersonic record | Sport | The Guardian Anyway... 2 pints, 4 large cans.... and more pints and cans on Monday night too
There is no more booze in the booze shed. Sorry Stella (Chook). I stole your booze.
That was the slide. It was the Felix of Falls. Rapid and slap bang doing what I came here to stop doing. Perhaps it was a test. How much did I miss it? How much was I missing? Did it feel good? What did you get from it?
The main thing I want to say - and if this ever happened again, I want you all to retrieve this part of this post and say "Hey, RC read what you fecking wrote then. See? Yeah? THAT. THAT is what it made you feel" - yeah, so the main thing is the depression.
There are things in all our lives we are dealing with. That is life. We try to be grateful, but the fact is, life is a fecking work-in-progress. There's a lot of shit out there. But a whole lot of good too. And whatever it is we have to deal with, whatever today's task is, whether it be work, caring for a parent, having to drive the kids to school, having to file divorce papers, having to go to court for something you did, having to own up to an extra-marital affair, having to stand up, having to deal with what the doc says about you, having to simply speak up, having to get out of bed, having to go to school, having to think about something, having to pray for someone, having to pay the gas bill, having to do nothing but get through the damn fucking day and night, WHATEVER the task is for you...it can be hard.
But dowsing yourself in booze?
Makes it all a darn sight harder.
Remind me - AL makes me depressed. I would drink alone. Every night with the TV or a movie. That's a little bitty sad. And all I have proved to myself this week is that right now, if i let AL in, that's where i end up at a rate of approximately 725mph. Or mach 1.24.
So, as Fagan sang, I'm Reviewing the Situation. Day 1 commences...
Finally - thank you Cat.
I've had a bit of a shite weekend if I am to be completely honest. I fell, metaphorically, all too quickly. After 7 weeks AF I had done much thinking about how and if I could let AL back in... And i very consciously did let it back in, last Sunday, with a wee drink at my folks (the most moderate of moderate drinkers).
Fine.
Monday AF. All good.
Tuesday. A pint in a pub i used to frequent. Ok...
Wednesday. Ditto. Uh-huh...
Thursday. Celebratory drinks for a friends' leaving do. 4 pints. Ok... so it was a special occasion, right?
Friday. Pint after work, at work, by mysel'... then BOOM! out comes the vino collapso... a bottle of that, plus a couple more cans.
Saturday. BOOM! Yet more vino and pints (all by myself i hasten to add. I mean, it's not as if i'm out with mates and have this very active social life. No, no. Just me getting p'd with me.
Sunday. I climbed a mountain today. I have climbed a mountain these past few weeks here, only to fall off. Funny how it takes weeks to climb Everest yet it only took Felix 4mins 19secs to fall from space. Skydiver Baumgartner lands safely on Earth after supersonic record | Sport | The Guardian Anyway... 2 pints, 4 large cans.... and more pints and cans on Monday night too
There is no more booze in the booze shed. Sorry Stella (Chook). I stole your booze.
That was the slide. It was the Felix of Falls. Rapid and slap bang doing what I came here to stop doing. Perhaps it was a test. How much did I miss it? How much was I missing? Did it feel good? What did you get from it?
The main thing I want to say - and if this ever happened again, I want you all to retrieve this part of this post and say "Hey, RC read what you fecking wrote then. See? Yeah? THAT. THAT is what it made you feel" - yeah, so the main thing is the depression.
There are things in all our lives we are dealing with. That is life. We try to be grateful, but the fact is, life is a fecking work-in-progress. There's a lot of shit out there. But a whole lot of good too. And whatever it is we have to deal with, whatever today's task is, whether it be work, caring for a parent, having to drive the kids to school, having to file divorce papers, having to go to court for something you did, having to own up to an extra-marital affair, having to stand up, having to deal with what the doc says about you, having to simply speak up, having to get out of bed, having to go to school, having to think about something, having to pray for someone, having to pay the gas bill, having to do nothing but get through the damn fucking day and night, WHATEVER the task is for you...it can be hard.
But dowsing yourself in booze?
Makes it all a darn sight harder.
Remind me - AL makes me depressed. I would drink alone. Every night with the TV or a movie. That's a little bitty sad. And all I have proved to myself this week is that right now, if i let AL in, that's where i end up at a rate of approximately 725mph. Or mach 1.24.
So, as Fagan sang, I'm Reviewing the Situation. Day 1 commences...
Finally - thank you Cat.
It's best to find out quickly, and move on to what does work for you. You've been a great contributor on this board, and your experience, even when it's not good, will serve to benefit you and others.:l
!
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