Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

[kuya]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Slaythefear;1425989 wrote: My most valuable and truthful insights have come in periods of great adversity. I can often give advice on various topics because I've already been through a path littered with mistakes. Enlightening experiences often come from great pain.

Amen to that!

( atheists have no alternative to amen :H:H:H)

[Byrdlady]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

:H:H:H
Amen is Amen in any language! How bout a kitty with that? :catroll:

[paulywogg]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

hey rc,you wrote about pain,throbbing in your head i have that too sometimes its like a pressure in the base of my head withdrawal still? maybe probly tension

[kuya]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Byrdlady;1426008 wrote: :H:H:H
Amen is Amen in any language! How bout a kitty with that? :catroll:

Nice try Byrdie, calling your bluff....... Just book a flight for all 20+ and I will take the problem off your hands!

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

So be it.... It means So be it

I am sober. So be it

We will overcome. So be it

Let us be well. So be it

And be there for those more in need. So be it

Our father who art in Heaven (why he does his drawing and painting up there, i'm not altogether sure)... Hallowed be thy name et al... So be it.

It sounds like something Jean Luc Picard would say on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.

PICARD: La Forge. Co-ordinates 32.7098.6729. Warp factor speed 9.

LA FORGE: We can only go to Warp Factor 8 Captain. The booster drives are off line.

PICARD: So be it. Engage.

[Enterprise engages in Warp Factor 8 and whizzes off into the space horizon....with a final flash]

[Cue music]

"Daa-da-da-daaa-da-da-daaaaaaaaaaa, d-d-d-d-daa-daa-daa-d-d-d-daaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."

[Lavande]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

RC - you've received a little gift from Stella :H

http://youtu.be/7QwV437qeSM[/video]]UFO prank!! - YouTube

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Lavande;1426062 wrote: RC - you've received a little gift from Stella :H

http://youtu.be/7QwV437qeSM[/video]]UFO prank!! - YouTube

LMFAO! :H :H

Stella - she's a little prankster.

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Day 12

Today is major revision day for my Philosophy exam tomorrow.

One thing I am trying to work out for New Year is how much am i doing?. Not in my studies, but in all aspects of my life. Does something need to drop? Do i need to shoot the baby?

I presently feel, even when I am having an evening "off" that I am always on. There is always something to be doing, something that hasn't been done. This isn't unusual for any of us likely, but i do believe, and it is much touted as an aid to recovery, that we need time off, time to relax, to play, to be AWAY from all that is work to us.

A previous flatmate of mine, a freelance artist, tried to make sure she had 2 days off in a row each week - and that one of these days was either Saturday or Sunday. She was adamant we needed this time away from our work schedule, to do other things that we aren't able to do in the week - see family and friends, go out, socialize, take a short break.

For the last almost 3 years, I have rarely had a 2 day weekend without there being something else I have to be getting on with. It's worse during term time as I have studies then also.

I can't winge - i made the choices here. Sure if my main job paid more, I wouldn't need to have a P/T job, but my running (lapsed at present) and my studies are things I CHOOSE to do. So cannae winge. And both i enjoy in their own way. However, I wonder whether being, at times, to busy exasperates me a little ... and I can't focus on any one thing (work, study etc) deep enough to do it full justice. "Could do better" I put on my own report card.... and so I look for a way out. A release from the constant - early morning checking of emails an replies....heading to work (whichever one)...returning to study....trying to keep up a training timetable... Wondering when it might be that I find someone to share this little life of mine with...

Much of what is written and suggested about recovery form addiction is about an almost wholsesale turnaround in how one leads their life. It's not simply about not drinking. It's about who we share our lives with and this potentially changing, it's about looking at what the stress factors are in life and seeing if these can be changed. It's about looking at what were the triggers and what were the underlying reasons for drinking addictively and dealing with these. It needn't be a massive, earth-shattering change. But there are changes.

I am wondering whether one of mine is taking on less next year. Being more focussed on my recovery.

What I have changed so far:
1. Stopped drinking
2. Avoid the bar at work at 5pm
3. Have favourite AF drinks in fridge (for me, Dandelion and Burdock and AF beer)
4. Let some peeps know - esp' my folks: accountability
5. Make plans if there are social nights out - leave early / avoid bars if poss.

What hasn't changed - and whether it does is not for me to say yet - is the idea that if everyone I know drinks (not all drink a lot, many are little tipplers) are there new peeps I might meet that means I can socialise without the need for going to the bar? Not sure where or how right now... I've got to study.

Any other recommendations as to what I might need to change (or not) please add.

[kuya]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Nuff said

Social Meetups near Stirling, Scotland - Social Meetups - Stirling

[Slaythefear]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

By God RC, I think you've got it! lol


Oh damn, I feel a quote coming on...

"Often he who does too much does too little."
~Italian Proverb~

So with that,

"I'll just leave you to your thoughts then."
~Ron Weesly~(LOL)

[Byrdlady]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Lot's of sorting to be done...remember things have had just thin tape on them for so long....now you are working through these thoughts now instead of glossing over them....THIS IS GROWTH! This is REALIZE! (as Mama used to say). Keep going, it gets better AND easier! B

[ThreeDogNight]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Great post, RC!

I think we do need to just kind of chill out at times and not give ourselves more stress. Even if it means kind of "nesting" for a bit and not doing everything we used to do.

TDN

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

PAWS for thought a little bit

Revision done. Well done to the point where I wont suffer guilt for not having done enough. It will suffice, which is not to say it's good, but it will do.

I was doing some reading about PAWS on the thread i linked to yesterday. Great stuff, very informative, good to know... and then I thought: "is this for me?"

Who gets PAWS? I can understand my colleague at work - the alkie who consumes, I reckon, about 10+ pints in an evening. He's in his mid 40's and looks in his late 50's. I can see why his body, after 25-30 years of heavy drinking (and in his youth some hard core drugs) might take a long time to heal. Physically and mentally.

I can understand why the actor i once employed who is now in his mid-50's and has nearly died due to alcohol consumption might get PAWS. Apparently a couple of bottles of Vodka he'd be seen buying each day. I don't know how he is today, but if he were ever to quit, I can understand how there may well be post acute withdrawal symptoms with him. Upwards of 140+ units of AL swilling through ones body each week is going to affect anyone for longer periods after initially giving up.

It could well be that I'm asking this question too early. I'm coming to the close of Day 12. I did do 7 weeks AF... can't really remember PAWS symptoms at all them, perhaps deep down my body knew it was going to get a drink, so didn't bother itself with anxiety. Perhaps that's why this week's been a little harder - not just that it's Christmas and EVERYONE's getting lubed up, but that something deep down - Rick the Dick? - is suddenly going "Oh FUCK... he means it... he's really going to try and do this... HIT THE CRAVE BUTTON! HIT THE PAWS BUTTON! HIT THE DENIAL BUTTON! HIT ANY FUCKING BUTTON YOU CAN FUCKING GET YER HANDS ON!... HIT THE RED BUTTON! RED ALERT RED ALERT!

Perhaps.

I suppose my question is - and this from someone who hasn't experienced PAWS - is, is it possible to tell the difference from those days you're feeling down, perhaps a little paranoid and insecure... from PAWS? I ask because this last week I have felt low. Especially around work. Especially whenever my line manager is in. Tired too - at work and in the evenings. Just lethargic. And it's not clear to me how much of this is actually my body working through not having AL in it's system; having to deal with feelings sober; having to be aware of thoughts and know that i can't douse them in AL at any time; are there synapses and neural shtuffs going on up in my noggins that are happening because I've come off the sauce?

Or...

Is it just that this is how I feel when I am sober? That I, for whatever reason, am feeling not particularly great about work, am craving time off, am wrestling with the voices that question who I am in the work environment, whether this is what I ought to be doing. Questioning too who I am and why the feckers am I still single? Trying to be grateful, while simultaneously feeling tired and struggling for that sense of "worth". Why when I look at others, do they seem so settled?

Sorry.... It's a bit of a pity party in my noggins some days :H Sorry folks. To quote Bill Hicks, don't worry folks, dick jokes are on their way.

Anyway, the reason for that wee moan ( and it's no meant tae be a moan really, wid rather youse saw it as a bit o' honesty, ken?!), was because is it just me (therefore Arsey needs to get off his arse and get out and paint the town red - way easier to write than do), or is it just the first waves of my body processing the volume of shite that i've poured into it the last 14 years... or is it a kind of PAWS? Answers on a post code to:

Mr Grumps
Grumplane
Grumpyville

And now - dick jokes!

[Slaythefear]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Dear Grampa,

I hope you figure this all out before you get that other leg in the grave. I have one question concerning the following quote, what do you think others see when they look at you?

"Why when I look at others, do they seem so settled?"


Signed,

Slay the Vampire

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Thank you Molls. I sense that it's just the impatient Arsey wishing there were no negative feelings, or feeling tired. I suppose it's re-training.

For years i'd occasionally have a night off from the drink - or cut down to JUST those 2 pints - and I mind thinking "ah yes, yes... that's sobriety. Ok, got it. Know what that's like. But tonight I want to drink again..." But perhaps I didn't know what it was like.

Re-phrase -

No 'perhaps'. I didn't know what it was like. Really. Proper.

So i am just a newbie at this whole dang thing!

Yo Slay, ya vamp. *AHA!* Yes... you're right. One artist said of me not so long ago "You're single? Oh I thought you were all settled and had a kid and all that." I said, "really?" She goes something like "Yeah, you just come across that way."

She clearly didn't see me often enough. :H :H

But you are right to throw that question right back at me. Thanks!