Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

[Patrick]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

I think what you need is a rhyme.
You'll be feeling much better with time.
The seal with the hiccups?
By gosh you need pick ups!
Just find a cute ass but not mine :H

(sorry Byrdy)
__________________

[Byrdlady]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

WHAT??? Patrick! (he's BACK!!)
You should be ashamed of yerself defacing my poem like that!!! :H:H:H (I'm an arteest). B

[Catbuddy]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Good lord, Byrdie. That was awful.
:H

RC, I know just how you feel. I think it is chemical depression that colors our world, and makes everything just a royal pain in the ass. Lav has good ideas on how to flip the switch, starting with just faking until you feel it. Focus on something in that daily experience to feel positive about. And so on.

But I also think there is a power to our pain we cannot deny, and can no longer drown. Part of this process for me is learning how to live through pain, hence the posts of the last two days.

I'm sorry; I know just how you feel. :l:l:l

Cat

[Patrick]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

this your room mate RC ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhbHTjMLN5c[/video]]The Meaning of Life (10/11) Movie CLIP - Mr. Creosote Blows (1983) HD - YouTube

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Today felt I'd lost all me shine,
Feeling angry and glum a' the time.
Then I thought "that's the trick"!
All I need is Patrick!
To show me his arse, it's fair fine! :moon:

[Catbuddy]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Has anyone else watched Patrick's post? Disgusting.

Cat

[Patrick]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

RunningCourage;1448661 wrote: Today felt I'd lost all me shine,
Feeling angry and glum a' the time.
Then I thought "that's the trick"!
All I need is Patrick!
To show me his arse, it's fair fine! :moon:

:H:H:H:H:

[Byrdlady]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

:H:H:H
RC, Cat is so right, there are just some flat spots in this journey, but I can assure you, your mood will improve. Maybe your happy mark has been raised....you have a higher standard now. It just takes some time, as I said in my rhyme....

[Patrick]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Catbuddy;1448663 wrote: Has anyone else watched Patrick's post? Disgusting.

Cat

Sorry if I offended you Cat ,sometimes the line between good and bad taste is waaaffer theeen. :H

(apologies for the thread hijack RC ,thought I would try make you smile before beddy byes)

[Catbuddy]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Patrick, not offended; just grossed out. Yuck.

I should have put a in my post.

I think of MWO as a "no offense" zone. Love ya, Mate.

Cat

[Byrdlady]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

That, too was my aim
but mine was more tame!

[RunningCourage]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Patrick;1448668 wrote: Sorry if I offended you Cat ,sometimes the line between good and bad taste is waaaffer theeen. :H

(apologies for the thread hijack RC ,thought I would try make you smile before beddy byes)

hijack away if you're going to post dirty smutty limericks and monty python clips! that would make for an excellent thread

thank you peeps, have a good sleep ya bunch o' lovable rogues n quines :H :l

[Patrick]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ[/video]]Always Look On The Bright Side of Life - YouTube

nighty nite RC

[kuya]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

RunningCourage;1443770 wrote: Forget that last post this morning. Forget it. I was driving home from the posh school and thought about my other work - the main job - and felt some resentment, some anger, some waves of pissed-off-ness. Not sure about what. The frustration of trying to find an artist to work with our young company (our young/youth theatre co.); with my boss; with me feeling that my boss doesn't think a whole great deal of me (whether that's true or not who is to say... i'm not sure how much I believe some people some times); with my own feeling that work hangs around my neck like the proverbial albatross, when it should be worn less like a cross to bear, but a cross to prize.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was driving home and having an overwhelming thought and desire for drinking beer. Simply just drinking beer of an evening filled me with desire. Just letting myself go there. The buzz. The forgetting of feelings. I don't want anything else to drink. I don;t desire anything else to drink. Just a crunchy cold beer.

Get home.

Have to phone an artist about working with our young company. She says possibly. Phone the boss to let her know where we are at. All's fine. Then she checks in about another class happening tonight - have I cross checked with another colleague about the fact that it's cancelled and that all participants have been informed. Flounder. Well, yes, to a degree, but not today. Fuck, yeah I'll call the other colleague. Fine.

I wish the constant presence i feel of my boss around me, near me, looking over me (I'm at home right now, she's approx 50miles away) would simply fuck off. I'm not saying I wish she would fuck off because I don't know how much she is a control freak and how much I can seemingly quickly fill with such negative feelings of inadequacy. Indeed perhaps she wants to say fuck off to me, as much as I might want to to her, but neither of us know where the other is at at the moment we feel something negative towards the other. She may have had a horrific day for all I know...

Still...

So, I phone the colleague - she's sorted it. It's all covered. There is nothing to worry about. No. But boy do I feel as if i can't do my job. Or that perhaps this aint the job for me. Perhaps I'm not a co-ordinator. Or a manager. I said to the artist "we want to work with professional artists like yourself, out there making work." I once kinda did that. Well, tried, for a bit. But now I'm not really an artist either.

So I'm not a maker, or a doer, or a manager or a spider weaving all these strands together into an intricate and beautiful mosaic. Nope. I just feel pretty fucking flat. And to perk me up, to put some bubble back into my mojo... (or at least to get rid of the flatness and have something to tittle me for a time)... I think "ah BEER! That would reeeealllllll niiiiiiicccceeeee!......"

I won't. Forget about counting the quit days - more importantly, perhaps, is I got meetings in the morning and being hungover would exacerbate all of the above. So I'll ride this evening out. Writing and posting this...

ARGH n FUCK n PFFFT n FUCKING WANNA ARRGH :stomper:

Sorry it took me so long for a proper reply Arsey

I just reread this post and refreshed the feelings it provoked the first time I read it.

Remember what I said about the voices in your head and how the criticism of parents/society start to become your own voices......start to become you?

This is what this post is ........ An endless reel of buttkicking you are playing in your head, cos you think that buttkicking achieves results.

People do this to themselves all the time.....where does it end? Depression, misery, dissatisfaction and addiction in order to drown the voices we have allowed to be implanted in our brain.

Since I quit nothing much has changed in my world. I am still struggling to save my home and business, which is quite stressful.

BUT I HAVE CHANGED......QUITTING BOOZE HAS CHANGED ME.

it was gradual, it is ongoing, I struggled with depression a bit from day 60 to 90, now I feel good. The way I see my world has changed exponentially.

So I am going to relax and remember step by step how my old day started in my head

Wake up, alarm blaring, got twenty minutes to get ready, I drank again last night, gonna quit tonight, all I have to do is eat dinner and go to bed early, I've GOT to quit, god I feel like crap, god I've got 4 surgeries today, ow my ankles ache, OMG I am so fat, look at the state of me, this room is a mess, my fucking life is a mess, wash your face, god look at the bags under your eyes, oh no, no toilet paper, I am such a fucking mess, I need to dye my hair, OMG I am so fat, I can't do this anymore, diarrhoea again, I feel like shit, why can't I just stop drinking, fuck I'm late, oh no it's Veronica first, splash some cold water on your face, you still look like crap, god I hate that woman, I can make a coffee and take it in, look at the state of this kitchen, and the living room, why cant I get my shit together,shit the roof is leaking again, I'm never going to be able to afford to keep this house, I feel like crap, right I'll see the first clients then eat something, I am fucking exhausted, I can't do this anymore..........

So far you have read the FIRST TWENTY MINUTES of my day.......it went on like this for TWELVE FUCKING HOURS, a living hell created by me, in my head, by booze.

And what did I do at the end of my twelve hours of self inflicted, self depreciating, critical, self loathing hell....yep DRANK MORE BOOZE!

WHY? ......BECAUSE I HAD SUCH A SHIT DAY I DESERVED A DRINK !!!!!!


TODAY. ( the honest truth )

Wake up for a pee.....six ten YAY! ..... another hour's kip. Wake up just before alarm, make coffee, cool....nice easy day today , check out MWO , the nest is busy, quick PM, eat oats and yoghurt, jeez it's gonna be warm today, bit stiff from that walk yesterday but check YOU out....looking good girl. Right gotta go.


You, my friend, are still running the old tapes. There is nothing wrong with you OR your world except the tapes you are running in your head.

Keep the booze out, accept the you that I know, warts and all and soon all that chatter will stop.

[patrice]

Stella (Chook), I stole your booze...

Kuya,

I can't believe how my mornings used to be like yours EXACTLY, the only difference is that after stumbling around in the shower I would attempt to put make up on in the heat..

It so brought it back to me. Thank you!!

Patrice