Day 2 in the Big Sober House, series two. We left the last series of Big Sober with Dr Richard Head and his partner in crime, Trigger, trying to find away into the Big Sober House in order to get the housemates to drink again. Although they got into the house, they were then subjected to what, for them, was a nightmarish experience with a sexy, saucy sobersexual Byrdie.
Who promptly booted them out the house into the night storms that were following on from Sandy's destruction. Dr Richard Head is presently seeking therapy for his sobersensual experience with Byrdie.
Stella (Chook) has been sidelined from her continuous attempts of getting into the Booze Shed, when she discovered she could hear voices, and then discovered that the voice she was hearing was none other than a talking plant, Stella (Flower).
Meanwhile, RunningCourage (aka Arsey or Rab, depending on the thread, but here shall simply say RC) has been Missing in Action of late... sometime between the unexpected end of Series one of the Big Sober House and, well, now.
STELLA (CHOOK): Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Yes?
STELLA (CHOOK): You're getting big.
STELLA (FLOWER): I am. Well done, Stella.
STELLA (CHOOK): Very big... Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Yes, Stella?
STELLA (CHOOK): Have you been taking the Bacs?! Hahahahahahahaha! Sorry, I couldn't resist.
STELLA (FLOWER): That's ok Stella. But Stella?
STELLA (CHOOK): Yes, Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Have you seen the size of my new shoot? Look...
STELLA (CHOOK): Wow. That is impressive.
STELLA (FLOWER): I know...
Maxie comes out to speak to Stella (Chook).
MAXIE: Stella, c'mere. You seen RC?
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw. Why?
MAXIE: There have been reports of his missing in action.
STELLA (CHOOK): He been getting action? Lucky sod.
MAXIE: Not that kind of action. Just missing.
STELLA (CHOOK): Then why didn't you say that?
MAXIE: What?
STELLA (CHOOK): Missing.
MAXIE: I did.
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw, you said missing in ACTION. If you don;t if he was doing any action, how do you know he is missing IN it?
LAV: Stella, shut it. Answer the damned question.
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw, i aint seen any action. Or any missing. Or any of RC.
Lola and Byrdie come out, followed by Cat.
BYRDIE: Hmmm... he's no where to be seen in the house.
LOLA: Maybe he just... well... left?
CAT: No. Don't think so. I think he might be laying a little low though.
BYRDIE: Hmmmm....
LOLA: Hmmmmm....
CAT: Hmmmm.....
LAV: Hmmmmm.....
MAXIE: Is the equivalent of us mutts going Woof?
LAV: Yes.
MAXIE: Oh, ok. Well, Wooooooooooooofffff, then.
While they Hmmmmm, Stella (Chook) takes the opportunity to check up on the Booze Shed. Of course she knows she is banned from it. Of course, she knows there is no way to get in. Of course she knows that to get in she has to find the key and she doesn't know a) where the key is and b) who does know where it is.
Anyway, she stares at the Booze Shed. And then... the shed...
Parps.
Stella (Chook) looks agawp. Did the shed just fart? No. Surely not.
Parp.
It did. The shed farted.
PAarrrpp.
STELLA (CHOOK): Lav, Lav, Lav! C'mere. The Shed's farting!
LAV: Stella, have you been drinking again?
STELLA (CHOOK): Not yet, no. Please come over here. The shed is farting. I think it might even be preparing to lift off. With MY booze!
LOLA: Hmmmm....
BYRDIE: Hmmmm....
LOLA: I agree Byrdie.
CAT: You don't think?
BYRDIE: Well... it wouldn't be the first time someone...
LOLA: Let's open up.
STELLA (CHOOK) OOooohhh... who has the key?
BYRDIE: No one has the key but we do have the power to open it up the shed when we are beyond the power and grip of what's inside it. Stand back guys.
They stand back. Somehow, with a bit of jiggery-pokery, of which no one can see from behind the backsides of Lav, Lolab and Byrdie, the door of the shed opens. A crowd has gathered. A smell pufts out...
STELLA (CHOOK): That is rank.
And their heads peer inside. And there in the corner with the last empty of bottle of beer and empty bottle of wine, slumps a sleepy, smelly RC.
STELLA (CHOOK): Bastard! I'll kill him, I will I will, I'll kill the stealing little bugger. That was MY booze you little Celtic shite.
That was how Day 1 began again for RC. And how Series II started of the Big Sober House.
Who promptly booted them out the house into the night storms that were following on from Sandy's destruction. Dr Richard Head is presently seeking therapy for his sobersensual experience with Byrdie.
Stella (Chook) has been sidelined from her continuous attempts of getting into the Booze Shed, when she discovered she could hear voices, and then discovered that the voice she was hearing was none other than a talking plant, Stella (Flower).
Meanwhile, RunningCourage (aka Arsey or Rab, depending on the thread, but here shall simply say RC) has been Missing in Action of late... sometime between the unexpected end of Series one of the Big Sober House and, well, now.
STELLA (CHOOK): Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Yes?
STELLA (CHOOK): You're getting big.
STELLA (FLOWER): I am. Well done, Stella.
STELLA (CHOOK): Very big... Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Yes, Stella?
STELLA (CHOOK): Have you been taking the Bacs?! Hahahahahahahaha! Sorry, I couldn't resist.
STELLA (FLOWER): That's ok Stella. But Stella?
STELLA (CHOOK): Yes, Stella?
STELLA (FLOWER): Have you seen the size of my new shoot? Look...
STELLA (CHOOK): Wow. That is impressive.
STELLA (FLOWER): I know...
Maxie comes out to speak to Stella (Chook).
MAXIE: Stella, c'mere. You seen RC?
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw. Why?
MAXIE: There have been reports of his missing in action.
STELLA (CHOOK): He been getting action? Lucky sod.
MAXIE: Not that kind of action. Just missing.
STELLA (CHOOK): Then why didn't you say that?
MAXIE: What?
STELLA (CHOOK): Missing.
MAXIE: I did.
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw, you said missing in ACTION. If you don;t if he was doing any action, how do you know he is missing IN it?
LAV: Stella, shut it. Answer the damned question.
STELLA (CHOOK): Naw, i aint seen any action. Or any missing. Or any of RC.
Lola and Byrdie come out, followed by Cat.
BYRDIE: Hmmm... he's no where to be seen in the house.
LOLA: Maybe he just... well... left?
CAT: No. Don't think so. I think he might be laying a little low though.
BYRDIE: Hmmmm....
LOLA: Hmmmmm....
CAT: Hmmmm.....
LAV: Hmmmmm.....
MAXIE: Is the equivalent of us mutts going Woof?
LAV: Yes.
MAXIE: Oh, ok. Well, Wooooooooooooofffff, then.
While they Hmmmmm, Stella (Chook) takes the opportunity to check up on the Booze Shed. Of course she knows she is banned from it. Of course, she knows there is no way to get in. Of course she knows that to get in she has to find the key and she doesn't know a) where the key is and b) who does know where it is.
Anyway, she stares at the Booze Shed. And then... the shed...
Parps.
Stella (Chook) looks agawp. Did the shed just fart? No. Surely not.
Parp.
It did. The shed farted.
PAarrrpp.
STELLA (CHOOK): Lav, Lav, Lav! C'mere. The Shed's farting!
LAV: Stella, have you been drinking again?
STELLA (CHOOK): Not yet, no. Please come over here. The shed is farting. I think it might even be preparing to lift off. With MY booze!
LOLA: Hmmmm....
BYRDIE: Hmmmm....
LOLA: I agree Byrdie.
CAT: You don't think?
BYRDIE: Well... it wouldn't be the first time someone...
LOLA: Let's open up.
STELLA (CHOOK) OOooohhh... who has the key?
BYRDIE: No one has the key but we do have the power to open it up the shed when we are beyond the power and grip of what's inside it. Stand back guys.
They stand back. Somehow, with a bit of jiggery-pokery, of which no one can see from behind the backsides of Lav, Lolab and Byrdie, the door of the shed opens. A crowd has gathered. A smell pufts out...
STELLA (CHOOK): That is rank.
And their heads peer inside. And there in the corner with the last empty of bottle of beer and empty bottle of wine, slumps a sleepy, smelly RC.
STELLA (CHOOK): Bastard! I'll kill him, I will I will, I'll kill the stealing little bugger. That was MY booze you little Celtic shite.
That was how Day 1 began again for RC. And how Series II started of the Big Sober House.
Comment