The Big Sober House 2

[RunningCourage]

The Big Sober House 2

Day 4 in the Big Sober House

Day 4. Midnight. The housemates hear screams from outside the house. They hear the scurrying of hundreds of tiny feet, the swoops of feathered wings disturbed in flight, the can sense the moon pulling a big cumulonimbus over it's face so as he can't see the horrors that are happening outside the house.

Even the eyes that spied where Byrdie hid the keys to the Booze Shed look on in horror.

Dr Richard Head and Trigger - hiding out in their car, still quietly scheming - realise the danger about them. Dr Richard Head jumps onto Trigger's lap in fear, sweat pouring from their pale white faces.

Could it be? Could it really be the return?

Could it really be the return of the Tyrannosaurus Pipkineximus? AKA Pipkin, the bird-butchering, mouse-mincering, rabbit-ripping, squirrel-squishing, deer-destroying, cat.

Dr Richard Head grabbed his telescope -

TRIGGER: That's not your telescope, Richard.

DR HEAD: It's not? Oh... I see... Sorry about that.

Dr Richard Head grabbed his actual telescope and peered through...

And there peering back at the other end was the twinkling, sneering evil red eye of Tyrannosarus Pipkineximus...

TBC

[Zenstyle]

The Big Sober House 2

Well how did I miss this?! :H:H:H

Sheer brilliance! You have to admire the Scots!

[kuya]

The Big Sober House 2

Zenstyle;1412676 wrote: Well how did I miss this?! :H:H:H

Sheer brilliance! You have to admire the Scots!

Only after you look up their kilts, Zenny ! :H

[Alcoholic]

The Big Sober House 2

Yes, when I first got here, I thought RC was nuts. Seriously thinking of booking him an appointment to see a shrink.

[Byrdlady]

The Big Sober House 2

OH MY GOSH, he grabbed the wrong telescope!!!!!!!!!!!!! :H:H:H:H

Zen, RC has been writing a soap opra over in the Newbie's nest for weeks...he has kept us in stiches! He works in all the newbies and he's just brilliant! We saw him first...he's OURS! XO, B

[kuya]

The Big Sober House 2

Byrdlady;1412699 wrote: OH MY GOSH, he grabbed the wrong telescope!!!!!!!!!!!!! :H:H:H:H

Zen, RC has been writing a soap opra over in the Newbie's nest for weeks...he has kept us in stiches! He works in all the newbies and he's just brilliant! We saw him first...he's OURS! XO, B

Yeah hands off Zenny, get yer own bard

[Byrdlady]

The Big Sober House 2

:H:H:H:H Kuya!!
Whatsa Bard? (why does my face hurt from laughing, a bard might be a bad thing?)

[kuya]

The Big Sober House 2

Byrdlady;1412703 wrote: :H:H:H:H Kuya!!
Whatsa Bard? (why does my face hurt from laughing, a bard might be a bad thing?)

Tis like a bird, Byrdie, only 'arder ! :H

[RunningCourage]

The Big Sober House 2

Bard, as in

PUB LANDLORD: H'min, ya drunken bampot - gerrout! yer bard!

BARD DRUNK: Shmnufkilukinfecking pub, shneever liked thish pub - hic - anywaysh...

Falls over.

[kuya]

The Big Sober House 2

RunningCourage;1412809 wrote: Bard, as in

PUB LANDLORD: H'min, ya drunken bampot - gerrout! yer bard!

BARD DRUNK: Shmnufkilukinfecking pub, shneever liked thish pub - hic - anywaysh...

Falls over.

ROFL RABSY

[Slaythefear]

The Big Sober House 2

RunningCourage;1412809 wrote: Bard, as in

PUB LANDLORD: H'min, ya drunken bampot - gerrout! yer bard!

BARD DRUNK: Shmnufkilukinfecking pub, shneever liked thish pub - hic - anywaysh...

Falls over.

FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY!!! Do we laugh at what we know best? he he

[Zenstyle]

The Big Sober House 2

kuya;1412691 wrote: Only after you look up their kilts, Zenny ! :H
:H

Byrdlady;1412699 wrote:
Zen, RC has been writing a soap opra over in the Newbie's nest for weeks...he has kept us in stiches! He works in all the newbies and he's just brilliant! We saw him first...he's OURS! XO, B

kuya;1412701 wrote: Yeah hands off Zenny, get yer own bard

Yis are "bardering" on becoming a mob!!! The Army will only borrow him and we'll send him back in time for bed. And we'll feed him. And buy him paper and pencils. And we'll try not to spoil him so that he wants to stay with us. (That last one is a lie!) *snigger*

[Byrdlady]

The Big Sober House 2

Zen, RC can't be BOUGHT! (Can you, RC?) I have chocolate and I'm not afraid to use it....B

[Mick]

The Big Sober House 2

Rabsy....youre aff yer box!!!:H

[RunningCourage]

The Big Sober House 2

Day 5 in the Big Sober House

Day 5. It's midnight in the Big Sober House. It's midnight outside also with Dr Head and Trigger. Funny that...

Perhaps not. Anyway, Dr Head was left looking down the end of his large, long telescope and there at the end of it he saw the red eye... the omnipresent red eye... the judging, belittling, condescending red eye...of.... Mother.

DR HEAD: Oh F***

MOTHER: What did you say?

DR HEAD: Oh ... eh... luck would have it, mother, that ... eh.... Trigger baked you a cake to welcome you here... Trigger?

TRIGGER: I what?!

DR HEAD: Baked her a cake -

TRIGGER: (shitting himself, and whispering to Dr Head)But i didn't -

DR HEAD: Now, now, Trigger. No need to be modest. Bring out the cake!

MOTHER: Trigger dear, you made ol' Mother Head a cake? Well, I'll be...

TRIGGER: (To Dr Head) Was I suppose to...?

DR HEAD: (Under his breath) Shut it.

TRIGGER: But -

DR HEAD: Now Trigger. Where's the cake you made for Mother? You had it there with you. Just there - see? Beside you. Where's it gone? Trigger? You've not gone and lost the cake have you?

TRIGGER: But -

MOTHER: I'm wait-ing!

TRIGGER: (sweating) Heheheh......

DR HEAD: Trigger? TRIGGER?... you've not, have you? Have you? You have? TRIGGER! You ate the cake! My god. You imbecile. I cannot believe you. I mean... Oh god, Mother. I am SO sorry for this. I don't know how to apologise enough. I -

MOTHER: I see.

DR HEAD: Sorry.

MOTHER: Yes. You will be. I mean, I have come all this way over sea and land from the Outer Shegrooms and the Isle of Twasheepandapub to be here with you and you lose me cake?!

A growl is heard from outside the vehicle. Dr Head squeals, jumps and sits on Trigger's lap.

TRIGGER: Oooff! Gawd you way a ton.

MOTHER: Bunch of pansy's. The both of you. And i thought you Richard, of all people, would have a bit more back bone, y'hear, no? A bit more steel in yer spine. But no, yer a woose. You're a shame on the whole Head family, Richard Head. Nothing good has ever come out of you. Nothing good will.

Trigger sniggered.

Meanwhile back in the house. A frail, quivering hand ever so slowly, and ever so silently makes it way towards the keys to the Booze Shed. Until that is the hand heard a sound and slunk down and way to hide once again...

Then there was an almighty roar.
Some manic skuttling.
And then a lonely, forlorn and plaintive

squeak.

Tyrannosaurus Pipkineximus entered the house with a mouse hanging from it's grizzled jaw.

The cat was back.

What's worse. So was mother.