alcoholic or not

[philsjerk]

Hi guys,
Just wanted share my problem
I ve been struggling with alcohol for years now but I think its a very different and difficult form of alcoholism because I normally only drink once a week and on weekends and socially but once I start I feel like I just want to keep on drinking and everything changes like personality etc. And now its affecting my family and I think its time to finally stop this.:thanks:

[Turnagain]

alcoholic or not

Welcome Phil....

You've found a good place here - there is a lot of support and information that can help you deal with alcohol addiction. You've taken a huge step in getting better by acknowledging that alcohol is a problem for you.

For years, I didn't think I had a big problem with drinking since I only drank on weekends or socially. But looking back, I realize I was usually drinking to get drunk and always felt one or two drinks were never enough.

It took more years and the inevitable progression to becoming a daily drinker that finally led me to the point where I realized alcohol was screwing up everything in my life...my family...my work....my body and...my self-respect.

Dive in around here to see where you feel comfortable. The NEWBIE's NEST under the Just Starting Out section is a good place to get support.


And then there is the....

Toolbox

It lives in the Monthly Abstinence section and is full of very practical ways to deal with getting your life back.

I hope you'll stick around....there's a lot I regret about my drinking years...but I can tell you with pride...there is nothing I regret about getting alcohol out of my life once and for all.

[philsjerk]

alcoholic or not

Hi Turnagain,

Thanks for the welcome and advise. I hope this is the start of the long road to recovery.
:thanks:

[philsjerk]

alcoholic or not

Hi moll,
thanks for the welcome and I think you are very right in saying that when it starts causing problems then it sure is an alcoholic problem. I think Im still struggling with the denial stage but I also feel that this might be my last chance before things with my family can no longer be repaired.
thanks again

[JackieClaire]

alcoholic or not

:welcome: Phil,
Just want add my welcomes and hellos. Great and wise advise already been given by Molls and Turn. Stick around this place has been a godsend for me.
J x
:l

[philsjerk]

alcoholic or not

Hi Moll,
Thanks for the support but I wanted to ask you if you go to AA meetings in your place or just rely on this forum... Thanks

[Nelz]

alcoholic or not

Heya Phills

Welcome to the club. The fact that you are concerned about your AL intake would seem to indicate a problem. It doesnt really need a label on it, unless thats what you prefer.

Ive wrestled with the very idea of being an alkie or not. In the end, I decided I did have a problem with AL, and chose to rid it from my life.

Stick around here, ask questions, read, and make posts, it will not only help you in your journey, it may be the very thing someone else needs to hear at that moment as well.

I wish you luck, support, and knowledge, in order for you to beat the beast.

Im pretty much an open book about my trials and tribulations, but feel free to PM me about anything you wish to know, if you would feel better talking in private.

[Pinecone]

alcoholic or not

Hi Phil and welcome. I just wanted to give you some support. There has been some truly outstanding advice already given in this thread.

I used this site as a support system, early on in my quit. It has also been very useful to write down my experiences and reread them, kind of like a journal. If you are honest and write stuff down, then when you go back to read it, you can't doubt the truth of your own words. The amount of self deception can be astonishing to see.

I hope you stick around!:welcome:

[paulywogg]

alcoholic or not

hi phil,like nelz said,if it bugs you then its a problem,i was reading a dear abby the other day and this lady was engaged to a guy who only drank once a year,and got wasted,i didnt think there was a problem with that,but dear abby,told her to go to al anon and also reconsider marrying him.i guess if it causes probs with family and friends its a problem.welcome and keep coming back!

[philsjerk]

alcoholic or not

Hi Nelz and Pinecone,
Thanks for the welcome and good advise.
Just wanted to share some of my struggles with quitting the sauce like one is that for some reason when I drink with family like wife and cousins socially I seem to have it on control but when they are not around I get too excited and just go out of control in drinking. My mind seems to be selective so this is why I've been struggling because there are signs of control and also no control. But my mind is made and I think life can be enjoyed with out. Thanks again

[Turnagain]

alcoholic or not

Hi Phil...

Glad you checked back in. It sounds like you've made a great decision about heading toward a life without the alcohol in it.

A few years ago, I couldn't imagine life without drinking socially....but you know what? I don't miss it all now and don't feel deprived.

Some of the wise folks around here encouraged me to focus on what I was getting rather than what I was 'giving up.' I got my health, self respect, my family's respect, peace of mind, and so far, more than $10,000 that's being used for good rather than pouring poison down the gut.

And as far as what I gave up....well I can only see stuff that should have gone a long time ago....
I gave up self-loathing, guilt, chronic illness, and stress - a lot of stress- on my kids.

It wasn't easy at first, but it has been worth it. I have never regretted accepting what alcohol does to my brain and my body and then doing something about it.

It takes a decision and it sure sounds like you are making a wise and good one.

[kuya]

alcoholic or not

philsjerk;1412731 wrote: Hi Nelz and Pinecone,
Thanks for the welcome and good advise.
Just wanted to share some of my struggles with quitting the sauce like one is that for some reason when I drink with family like wife and cousins socially I seem to have it on control but when they are not around I get too excited and just go out of control in drinking. My mind seems to be selective so this is why I've been struggling because there are signs of control and also no control. But my mind is made and I think life can be enjoyed with out. Thanks again

It sounds like being in company is controlling your drinking because of social censure.....you don't want to be perceived as out of control. That is VERY different to drinking alone which is actually how YOU honestly feel. You are exercising rigid control MOST of the time then it explodes on a binge.
You need to get some help to look at what you are'bottling up' between binges IMO.

It may be that alcohol is not the problem per se, but repressed emotions.

[philsjerk]

alcoholic or not

Hi Turn and Kuya,
Turn thanks for the great advise and it really gives us alot of hope here.
Kuya i think you were spot on on your comments. Guys just a quick question so feel free to answer.
Why is this forum effective? Do you think its the anonymity nature of the site? Cuz I feel that all the comments and advise are all sincere and it seems that no one here is trying to prove anything. Cuz I feel that in AA meetings there is a personal touch that can influence you.
thanks

[199days]

alcoholic or not

if one beer a week is affecting your life and causing you problems then its a problem. Volume or how many days you drink is of irrelevance , its YOU and your life ! Get rid of it for say 100 days totally. see how you feel.

Sober is cool.

[kuya]

alcoholic or not

philsjerk;1413447 wrote: Hi Turn and Kuya,
Turn thanks for the great advise and it really gives us alot of hope here.
Kuya i think you were spot on on your comments. Guys just a quick question so feel free to answer.
Why is this forum effective? Do you think its the anonymity nature of the site? Cuz I feel that all the comments and advise are all sincere and it seems that no one here is trying to prove anything. Cuz I feel that in AA meetings there is a personal touch that can influence you.
thanks

I think this forum is effective because nobody is judged as having succeeded or failed. No matter how long someone is sober they still have to face life. Life can be hard and only other addicts get why it would make a person want to seek oblivion, even if only for a few hours.

I abstain, and would always want to abstain, but this place allows for all roads to the better place, recognizing that we are all unique.

I think the anonymity helps everyone to be more honest. There is NOTHING to be gained by lying. Face to face meetings carry more burden of relationship. Here people can come and go as they see fit. We form friendships of the mind, rather than social friendships needing upkeep.

This is my observation having only been here a few months. Others may view it completely differently