Was thinking about this last night as I went out for a walk to the Supermarket to buy dinner. A totally different Friday night to say, one month ago, where the wine would have been out at around 5-6 pm.
One of my really good strategies, to keep drinking and wanting to drink has always been that I associate it with the pleasure, the freedom of my youth, good times, fun and other people's company.
Another good strategy I have always employed to keep drinking and wanting to drink is that I have read posts on MWO and I've always thought - I'm not as bad as that, even though I had noted pain in my right side, itchy skin, bad skin, liver roll and muffin top combined, horrible smells coming from my body and breath, memory loss, financial problems, wanting to drink alone + lots of other stuff.
I would always quickly 'not look' at anything that pointed out that I was on a terrible path and that it would not end well. My focus would quickly be averted to something else - does that make sense?
Anyway, I'm now on day 23 and I'm only here because after the shit hitting the fan financially I was made face up to the fact that I had to do something and stopping drinking wine to numb myself was in fact the answer - If you have a look about for my 'What if' thread, I posted that the day that I suddenly realised that my out of control drinking might just be the cause of the misery I found myself in.
So, in the past week what I have been doing, in my mind, is when a memory pops up of me making a fool of myself, you know the sort of stuff, the humiliation etc, instead of quickly putting it out of my mind because I don't want to 'look' I have 'looked' and let all the feelings of humiliation, guilt, embarrassment sweep over me - I mean totally get lost in the pain of it.
The mind will do anything to get away from pain and towards pleasure so I have been working hard on, as above, total immersion on the pain caused by my drinking and to move towards pleasure I have been noting all my triumphs, such as being at the gym at 10 am on a Saturday morning or walking to the shops around 6 pm last night, not having to stand about 10 feet away from people in case they smell my breath and most of all the feeling of peace and contentment I now have within me.
I'm going to keep working at this and just thought I'd share this new strategy just in case it may help anyone else.
One of my really good strategies, to keep drinking and wanting to drink has always been that I associate it with the pleasure, the freedom of my youth, good times, fun and other people's company.
Another good strategy I have always employed to keep drinking and wanting to drink is that I have read posts on MWO and I've always thought - I'm not as bad as that, even though I had noted pain in my right side, itchy skin, bad skin, liver roll and muffin top combined, horrible smells coming from my body and breath, memory loss, financial problems, wanting to drink alone + lots of other stuff.
I would always quickly 'not look' at anything that pointed out that I was on a terrible path and that it would not end well. My focus would quickly be averted to something else - does that make sense?
Anyway, I'm now on day 23 and I'm only here because after the shit hitting the fan financially I was made face up to the fact that I had to do something and stopping drinking wine to numb myself was in fact the answer - If you have a look about for my 'What if' thread, I posted that the day that I suddenly realised that my out of control drinking might just be the cause of the misery I found myself in.
So, in the past week what I have been doing, in my mind, is when a memory pops up of me making a fool of myself, you know the sort of stuff, the humiliation etc, instead of quickly putting it out of my mind because I don't want to 'look' I have 'looked' and let all the feelings of humiliation, guilt, embarrassment sweep over me - I mean totally get lost in the pain of it.
The mind will do anything to get away from pain and towards pleasure so I have been working hard on, as above, total immersion on the pain caused by my drinking and to move towards pleasure I have been noting all my triumphs, such as being at the gym at 10 am on a Saturday morning or walking to the shops around 6 pm last night, not having to stand about 10 feet away from people in case they smell my breath and most of all the feeling of peace and contentment I now have within me.
I'm going to keep working at this and just thought I'd share this new strategy just in case it may help anyone else.
Comment