I'm not into IM-ing, but any replies would be great.
I realize that I need to just get into this stuff, have the materials, but I have a horrible association with quitting (I'd really just rather cut down - and yes, I read the book).
I am an early-stage problem drinker who has tried AA, and was basically told by somebody - who used me to make herself look super-compassionate at a meeting (right out of a soap-opera) - that I am not worth the time of day, because I can't say that I am an "alcoholic." I know that this is a "feelings" issue, and not a "thinking" issue, but it is screwing hard with my association cortex in relation to giving this abusive behavior up.
Ten years ago, I was a vegetarian who went to meetings for two years - with a relapse every six months, and I promptly told on myself and went back each time. I went back out after living with another program member and being made fun of by my "sponsor." I really miss those days when I was really into my health, which is going to get bad if I don't address these things.
I don't need criticism or harsh comments right now. I want to get healthy again. I have never been so alone in my life. My parents have been dead for a long time, and my brothers (who have never seen me drunk) have always been too good for me. I work almost constantly, come home, and drink myself to sleep. I have many friends who don't know that I am a problem drinker, and a few who do.
I have lost my identity in all of this. I have been sick for three months (respiratory stuff), have lost my passion for songwriting (WTF?), and have had NON-drinking related problems coming at me constantly as of late. I have no husband or kids, no family, but I do have two beautiful cats.
I just feel so down and lonely. I've never had so much stuff come at me at once in my whole life, and I've never been so discouraged. And I don't need to tell anybody that a drink doesn't make it better - it just gives me a mask for a while.
Please, don't put me down. I just want to know if anyone has ever done this without the love and support of a family of any kind. I've always been quite independent, but I'm kind of desperate now. I have the hypnosis cd's, the kudzu, and I have been very healthy in the past. Something inside me is really scared of starting this whole thing.
I realize that I need to just get into this stuff, have the materials, but I have a horrible association with quitting (I'd really just rather cut down - and yes, I read the book).
I am an early-stage problem drinker who has tried AA, and was basically told by somebody - who used me to make herself look super-compassionate at a meeting (right out of a soap-opera) - that I am not worth the time of day, because I can't say that I am an "alcoholic." I know that this is a "feelings" issue, and not a "thinking" issue, but it is screwing hard with my association cortex in relation to giving this abusive behavior up.
Ten years ago, I was a vegetarian who went to meetings for two years - with a relapse every six months, and I promptly told on myself and went back each time. I went back out after living with another program member and being made fun of by my "sponsor." I really miss those days when I was really into my health, which is going to get bad if I don't address these things.
I don't need criticism or harsh comments right now. I want to get healthy again. I have never been so alone in my life. My parents have been dead for a long time, and my brothers (who have never seen me drunk) have always been too good for me. I work almost constantly, come home, and drink myself to sleep. I have many friends who don't know that I am a problem drinker, and a few who do.
I have lost my identity in all of this. I have been sick for three months (respiratory stuff), have lost my passion for songwriting (WTF?), and have had NON-drinking related problems coming at me constantly as of late. I have no husband or kids, no family, but I do have two beautiful cats.
I just feel so down and lonely. I've never had so much stuff come at me at once in my whole life, and I've never been so discouraged. And I don't need to tell anybody that a drink doesn't make it better - it just gives me a mask for a while.
Please, don't put me down. I just want to know if anyone has ever done this without the love and support of a family of any kind. I've always been quite independent, but I'm kind of desperate now. I have the hypnosis cd's, the kudzu, and I have been very healthy in the past. Something inside me is really scared of starting this whole thing.
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