This is my first post. I stumbled across this site several years ago and it has helped me get to this point. I took my first Topamax yesterday. Finally!
I live about an hour from Melbourne (Australia) in a beautiful rural wine growing area. I am female and 51 year's old and I have been concerned about my drinking for the past decade. I used to be a binge drinker and get hammered, and then not be able to touch the stuff for days. I used to also give up the booze for a month every year. In the past couple of years, however, I have not been able to quite for the full month and pretty much drink each day to blackout stage. I don't drink huge quantities but I drink very fast.
I wake up every morning with the "guilts" and the "self loathing", which I'm sure you all know about. I have finally come to admit that I cannot control my drinking after the first drink.
I have not ordered the CD's as yet and am wondering if there are some having success without them? I decided to take my first Topamax yesterday, even though I knew I had a dinner party at the next door neighbour's house and would most likely drink. I don't know whether it is placebo effect or not but the first beer tasted awful and I did not drink to blackout stage last night so, subsequently, feel pretty hopeful right now.
I hope I can offer help and/or encouragement to others that read and don't post as I have done for the past few years.
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