I think I've hit rock bottom

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

I am just lately reaching a point where I am better taking care of myself. My morning routine became reduced to tying my hair back & throwing on a skirt. I am a bit ashamed to admit this, but showering & brushing my teeth was too much of a chore on most days.

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Only this morning have I noticed that my body is trying to reshape itself. Even though I have been on a major binge the last several years, I only gained weight the last 6 months. At about a pound per month. My stomach was really poofed & stretched out due to knocking back almost a 12 pack a day. It is shrinking & becoming flat once again. My face also looks better, not so puffy.

I've noticed with the bf, we still have our good times on Saturday, but Sunday, not so much. On Sunday his body is tired, his spirit is worn, he doesn't feel well. This is due to the high consumption of alcohol Saturday of course. Usually a 12 pack or pretty close to it. The most he can do is sit in one spot & tip the beer to his mouth. Monday is mostly spent in bed until work time, recovering. He works second shift.

I think I need to start planning a Sunday excursion for myself for a few hours. The energy in the house feels drained & I start picking it up & start feeling drained myself.

I'm not wanting alcohol. Sometimes the thought flits through my head but I just brush it off & relish being sober.

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

No drinky.

My family is finished with the Christmas thing. My daughter is home & we are cool. I had a few rough moments when the thought of al went thru my mind, but it was only moments, nothing I couldn't handle. Beer, wine & whiskey was on hand. Not once did I consider "having just one". We all had a good time.

I've been getting irritable as of late. The kudzu seems to help. But I think I may try something else. Maybe some 5htp or something. I keep feeling like I am craving something but the craving is never satisfied. Tomorrow I am going to the health food store & get some sort of green superfood. My body is evidently lacking something.

I don't know what we are doing New Years or how I am going to handle that situation. I'll face it head on I guess. Avoidance just seems to make things worse.

[kuya]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Try inositol or GABA or theaninie for the irritability. They all work. Also remember part of the irritability is the brain healing IMO......ride it out.

[kuya]

I think I've hit rock bottom

doo-doo;1432221 wrote: oh well. get real.

Hi Doodoo .......pooped again? Full of ......Xmas cheer I see

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Thanks. I had that same thought myself. And maybe even the constant craving that is never satisfied is due to my body missing the alcohol.


I do have some powdered GABA. That could be what the issue is. Doesn't alcohol produce then deplete GABA...or something like that?

Thanks to all who replied. Have a sober New Year.

kuya;1432206 wrote: Try inositol or GABA or theaninie for the irritability. They all work. Also remember part of the irritability is the brain healing IMO......ride it out.

[K9Lover]

I think I've hit rock bottom

doo-doo;1432221 wrote: oh well. get real.

Doo-doo, you are as optomistic and supportive as ever, I see.

NewOne,
Great job on getting through the holidays sober. I know it's not easy, but you did it...You'll get through New Year's too...it's just another day!

K9

[Byrdlady]

I think I've hit rock bottom

New One, it has been so inspiring watching your transformation. I can almost see you 'realizing' things. You are doing so well...next Christmas will be a snap. Well done!

Doo-Doo....at it again I see. Being bitter to others won't help your own situation. Until you take responsibiltiy for yourself, nothing will change. New One is testimony to that. Good luck, B

[Wally22]

I think I've hit rock bottom

New One I find your posts very inspirational. Thanks so much for sharing with us. I love your attitude!!! I think 2013 is going to be a great year for you.

[RunningCourage]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Wally22;1432403 wrote: New One I find your posts very inspirational. Thanks so much for sharing with us. I love your attitude!!! I think 2013 is going to be a great year for you.

:yeahthat: Absolutely agree with Wally there.

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

I volunteered for DD duty on New Years if anyone wants to go anywhere. Everybody was like...I dunno man, thinking of staying home, etc. I think everyone is burnt out on the holidays already. All the food, all the family...

We had our last get together last night. My daughter packed up & headed for home this morning. I stayed with my mother until afternoon & helped her clean up & put away the decorations.

Holidays are a lot of work. I may just lay in front of the tv this weekend.

At one point I did get into the "I deserve" mindset so I bought myself some sugar free chocolates & pigged out. Staying low carb with tables & tables full of every kind of carb & sweets was a bit challenging for me this year even though I have been a low carber for years.

Oh yeah, the GABA is working. It puts my head exactly where it needs to be.

And I did indulge in a natural smoking substance a few times. ;-P

Onward soldiers! Be good to yourself this weekend. Take long bubble baths, pop popcorn, watch a good movie, take the dog for a walk, the family for a drive, treat yourself to a dinner out...yunno, all of that good SOBER stuff.

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

No drinky!

On New Years eve, I did order a glass of wine with dinner. I have sooooo been hankering to try it. I think probably because I see folks on the tele sipping it. I chug beer (used to that is) I don't sip anything.

But ack! OMG, one drink almost floored me. I didn't know it was that strong. It was like some sort of strange flavored & colored hard liquor. So much for my mindset of wine drinkers not being drunks.

I couldn't even sip it with my meal & got a diet coke instead. I told my bf...well there goes my wino days...I didn't even get a hint of a buzz for all of my trouble.

Anyway, I have hit over thirty days. The odd part is, I am wanting beer moreso than when I first stopped. My body wants that quick energy supply that it used to get from alcohol. This I know & have to react accordingly. So I am really loading up on vitamins & protein & green drinks. And OMG, my caffeine consumption is over the top, which I am sure is ascerbating the cravings. I have this insane feel of my body lacking something.

My plans are to just ride it out.

[Mootsbill]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Hi new one I'm trying to cut out caffeine I'm sure it ecsasbates the anxiety which leads to cravings, but I know what you mean it's like I need some sort of kick out of something and as I can't drink coffee will have to do!

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

I am not happy. I am gaining weight. I am sure it is due to the constant sugar spikes from drinking so much coffee. I've been staying low carb so I don't know what else to blame it on except menopause.

So...my plan, from this day forward...is to drink black coffee. Ack! I love my creamer so much & use gobs & gobs of it. I'm sure drinking it black will slow down the consumption rate. Bleck!

Nope. Not happy about this.

[NewOne]

I think I've hit rock bottom

Well, the honeymoon phase is officially over. I am now having to face 'real life'. When I was drinking all of the time, mostly that was all I really focused on. The rest was scooted under the rug.

Now I have to face daily irritations, negative thoughts, blah moods & everything else that comes with living. The ups & the downs. Really, it was so much easier to escape into the bottle (I'm lying, I much prefer cans) & if it weren't for the consequences, I most likely would still be there.

I recall the other day reverting back to a time of drinking/non drinking & entertaining the thought that I wasn't happy when I did drink & wasn't happy when I didn't. So did any of it even really matter?

There is always some negativity to focus on. Right now it is the feeling of lack physically. The constant void. The craving for something that nothing touches. I'm thinking that it may be candida, a systemic yeast thing. So I bought some really good acidpholous combo hoping to repopulate the good bacteria. Some little munchinkans to eat up the yeast.

I think C may help that also. Yesterday at kroger I found my favorite ester c in a buy one get one free. And yeah...that coffee thing with out cream really worked....for all of two seconds.

It didn't happen ;-D

Todays motto is: Don't focus on what's wrong, focus on what's right.