I could use everyone's help PLEASE

[Phin]

I need some help......I drink, I homestly wiah I didn't but I do. My husband is of the belief 'Just stop'. I wish it was that easy.

He is unwilling to read up on the 'issue', he has too much going on in his life......the solution is, for me to just not drink. I am the selfish one for not being able to say no to drinking. I am the one who is responsible for creating stress on our family. Yet he is unwilling to learn....he says, just stop. God, if I could..........

Please, if there is anyone who can help me......

[Byrdlady]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Help yourself first, and your husband's belief in you will follow. Like on an airplane, they tell you put your mask on first before you help others...are you drinking now? The only way to get yourself back to square is to start. Blaming anyone else is fruitless...it is us to who puts the glass up to our mouths.....So, are you ready to begin? Check out the Tool Box link in my signature line below. Get yourself a plan. Byrdie

[Phin]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

I don't blame anyone.....I know it's me, however, I am upset with my husband that is so unwilling to educate himself. He needs to understand that this is something that is an illness. He thinks JUST QUIT, ya well if it was the FREAKING easy, bro...........................

[kuya]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

You have done six months AF before so you know how to quit, even without your husband being educated. The problem everyone has is to STAY quit and for that you need to change YOUR mind, not his.

[pixie]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Hi Phin

I can understand how it doesn't feel helpful at all when your husband says "just stop". If he doesn't have the problem that we have, then it's hard for him to empathize. But Byrdie is right, it starts with you. Are you ready to do something about it? Maybe download the book if you haven't already, try some supplements if you haven't already (or try some new ones if you have).

If you need someone to understand, you have a bunch of people right here who do. Read and post, figure out what you want to do, and go for it.

[paulywogg]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

hi phin,i know how you feel my husband is the same way,he even made fun of me for going to an aa meeting,i think its just hard for them to admit to themselves that we have a real problem a lot of denial my husband has.I think its because he can drink just a couple and stop,he doesnt understand why i cant do that too,dont let his feelings stop you from helping yourself though.

[Alcoholic]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Phin:
I agree w pauly:

regardless how your husband feels, try to get yourself better... Never let anyone's opinion affects you. Just do what's best for you, and you know what is best for yourself so I hope you get yourself better first. Hugs.

[jjcopper]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Phin, I know how you feel. Yes it is up to us to stop not anyone else, however it does hurt when our loved ones stay "JUST STOP". My sister did the same thing to me a few weeks ago and it hurt plenty. "She said just stop killing yourself in front of me" She was correct although it was hurtful. So for me it was my last binge. I saw what I was not only doing to myself but to her as well. Sometimes the ones closest to us are the hardest on us. I tried to have her read a few posts or books on the subject but she doesn't and I can't make her. As a nurse in an ICU she sees patients in DT's all day long and I know I am the last person she wants to see that way. It is your decision. There is plenty of help here everywhere. Use the resources you have and stay true to yourself.

[Nelz]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

You are certainly not the only one in your situation. We are all here because of our issues with AL, and am sure most of us have heard.........JUST STOP.

It is hard for others not struggling with the whole one is too many stigma to understand. Its always easy to judge someone else for a problem "you" dont have.

Maybe if your husband sees some real effort AND success on your part he will turn around and start to encourage you. A lot of people are skeptics and wont change their ways of thinking until they see results.

Quitting AL will change a lot of things for you, and all in a positive way, that, I can assure you. It will be a struggle, but a struggle that will get MUCH easier the more times you win the battle.

Even if you cant find any support in real life, you will find more than you can use here......

[Slaythefear]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Phin;1421953 wrote: I need some help......I drink, I homestly wiah I didn't but I do. My husband is of the belief 'Just stop'. I wish it was that easy.

He is unwilling to read up on the 'issue', he has too much going on in his life......the solution is, for me to just not drink. I am the selfish one for not being able to say no to drinking. I am the one who is responsible for creating stress on our family. Yet he is unwilling to learn....he says, just stop. God, if I could..........

Please, if there is anyone who can help me......

Hello Phin. I do agree with the others as this is a decision you make for yourself regardless of others' views or opinions. However, maybe you can print something like this out and just leave it lying where he will see it and read it at his own pace without you saying a word. Don't force him or ask him to read it. Just leave it where he will see it and maybe with an I love you written across the top.

How to Help an Alcoholic Stop Drinking - Digits's column on Newsvine

[Struggles 106]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Hey Phin

A common problem-a partner who just doesn't get it. And he probably never will.
I think it makes the struggle harder, but not impossible. Only you can know what you need to do. The support would be priceless for sure, but that's also what sites like this one are for.

I hope you can find you way forward no matter what he thinks. If you don't drink you will feel so much better, and be able to think much more clearly. It just gets better.
There will always be problems to deal with, but that load will be lighter without alcohol in the picture.

Take care

[Phin]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

Thanks for all your thoughts....I keep saying I want to stop, I should just do it. I don't know why I can't just stop like he says, it's not like I don't want to......it just doesn't happen.

[Byrdlady]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

I've seen this quote around here quite a bit...There's more to quitting drinking than just quitting drinking. We all know that...but 'normal' people don't....It is simple, certainly not easy...but it is DO-ABLE! Hop on over to the Newbie's Nest, we have lots of folks in the first days! There is nothing like a quit-buddy! All the best! B

[bettygirl]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

you have to change your way of thinking and dealing with things in order to quit drinking. it's a symptom...if we could "just quit" there wouldn't be rehabs and recovery or mwo, because they would be of no use. you can't change him, only you.:h

[Struggles 106]

I could use everyone's help PLEASE

I agree with Betty and Byrd. Not drinking is one thing (and hard enough) but living sober is a whole 'nother story. Many many good things will be obvious, and the discomfort of being without the drug of choice will diminish as time goes on.