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    #1

    stigma of battling addiction

    I've made the jump to try Sobrexa. After the first week I have seen improvements in my urges and in a moment of excitement I decided to share news of my "big step" to get treatment for my over drinking with my husband. Rather than being supportive he yelled at me for spending the money and not telling him first and he looked at me with absolute judgement and hatred. I have fallen apart. I was so proud of my push to get help, no one says "I want to struggle with drinking"---it just happens. I am ashamed enough as is, I needed his love and support, not his anger and judgement. I'm full of self-doubt and now slef-loathing. Today will be an especially hard day to try to get healthy. I feel like I have lost my husband, but seeing his total lack of understanding maybe this isn't such a loss. After 10 years of marriage, I would have thought he knew better, and knew how to love me. I guess as long as I struggled in private he did.

    *I also paid for the program with my own savings--I didn't take money from him. I have never felt so lost and alone. Please think of me and send me supportive words of encouragement-I need them a lot today.
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    #2
    stigma of battling addiction

    :welcome: John2492,

    I'm afraid I know nothing about sobrexa so can't give any advice but wanted to say my hellos and welcomes.

    I'm so sorry about you husband's reactions, I'm hoping when he's thought about it for a while he will see what an absolute positive step you have taken.

    For now be proud of your self for making the huge decision to take charge of your life.

    Look forward to following your journey and glad you found us.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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      #3
      stigma of battling addiction

      Hello John2492, I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's reaction, that's sad. However, it does give you a chance to do this for you despite all that's going on around you, and without approval from others. If you can do that, then you'll find your own strength and love of yourself. You felt it when you took the step to try sobrexa but were crushed when hubby gave you a reaction you weren't expecting. Try and summon up that good feeling again and do what's right for you. Hubby will probably come round in time when he sees the positive changes in you. If not, then perhaps time to think about that one again, but maybe not now. Whatever happens, if you do it for you, then you will find your own peace of mind. From there all else follows. Good luck and you've found a great place :l
      You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

      :lilangel:

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        #4
        stigma of battling addiction

        Jackie

        thanks for your kind words- I needed them more than I can say. I think I'm just hurt. I know I need to accept my own failures with controlling my drinking (and ending it completely) and I am ashamed of myself that I have this struggle. I beat myself up enough-would have thought he would know this much about me and know that I need his unconditional love now. I fear if he can't stop being this way I may end our marriage. He also thinks I should be able to stop cold turkey--and frankly I have tried that with no luck. This Sobrexa stuff has really been helping me, and helped me think maybe I CAN quit cold turkey if I can just manage to regain control over my cravings. HIs rejection of my attempt to get help is shutting down my will power to continue on, I wish he could understand this.

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          #5
          stigma of battling addiction

          There are obviously other issues at work with him IMO. Is he a controlling person in general?

          Does he drink to excess?

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            #6
            stigma of battling addiction

            Hi John 2492,

            So shocking and numbing to get the kind of reaction you were not expecting. I can only imagine how depressed and demoralized you must feel. I've heard of sobrexa. Some people are finding great help from it. So sad that your husband is not happy for you. Maybe you hid your drinking problem well and he can't face the reality of what 'is'. His reaction is very puzzling.

            So glad you found us! I spent hours and hours just reading here and getting to know who people were before I ever got the courage to join in. There are people from all over the world who are sharing what is working for them. Some use meds, some diet and vitamins, there is a My Way Out book, CDs, advice on meds and supplements, etc. and many different strategies that people are using and sharing.

            Since this forum is world-wide, there is almost always someone online with whom you can talk and find encouragement and understanding. This is not a 'one size fits all' kind of place and I've rarely found such kindness and such a lack of judgement on people who are struggling. Welcome and so glad you found us. Keep posting and let us know how it's going.

            Join us over in the newbie's nest, a very welcoming place, with people in all stages of recovery. I love this place and have found more help and understanding than anywhere else I have been. I no longer feel alone. So glad you are here. Welcome!
            AF since 12/2/12
            http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

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              #7
              stigma of battling addiction

              UPDATE:
              I've been able to argue, cry and yell with my husband and I think he is finally seeing that his reaction was horrifying. He is generally a very patient and loving man-but yes I gather that I must have hidden my struggle with alcohol so long so well that he was blind-sided by everything. That said I am doing this for myself and no one else.

              The Sobrexa is working. Week #2 and I feel no buzz from alcohol, and frankly after one drink I lose interest. I confess I'm slightly disappointed, having spent the better part of 15 years loving that buzz--but I am focused now on getting better and determined to keep quitting until I get this right. I hope and pray this investment will work. In the mean time thank you to each of you for being here. Knowing I'm not alone has helped more than I can say.

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                #8
                stigma of battling addiction

                So glad for you. Alcohol is just a poison consumed by custom to escape reality when in truth most people's reality is fine.

                Good on you

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                  #9
                  stigma of battling addiction

                  I'm glad to hear things are going better, John. It sounds like both you and your husband got blind-sided for different reasons.

                  I hope you'll hang around and get some support from other people who KNOW. Your husband sounds like a good man, but it is hard to understand alcohol abuse and dependence if you haven't had the experience yourself.

                  :welcome:
                  YahYah
                  AF as of August 5th, 2012

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