Friday 5:20pm
This Friday on my way home from work I run into an old friend. Someone I have known for a number of years but we only spent time drinking together after work, during poker games and other drinking venues. I saw him outside a pub where we have enjoyed many evenings with our mutual friends.
He was drinking a pint of my favourite larger and enjoying a Marlborough lights cigarette. We talked for a couple of minutes and he offered to buy me a drink. I reluctantly agreed. However, after a first sip I remembered why I liked boozing so much. The cool, refreshing taste of Heineken hmmmm. Immediately my nicotine craving hit me like first love. I asked if I could borrow a cigarette, he said "Of course". We chatted for a while and it was my turn to buy drinks. We repeated the previous round. Now after the second beer I feel a lot more relaxed, it’s the best time of a night out. You feel uninhibited, calm and happy. Now I go to the cigarette machine and buy a whole pack since I know that the night will continue. We decide to meet our friends in another bar and share a taxi to Central London. We are greeted by all the people I have not seen in months. I offer to buy a round of shots. They buy me a cocktail. We drink for my new job. We drink for Ryan’s newborn daughter. We drink for upcoming holiday season... Now I am starting to feel very lightheaded and deep down I know that I am drank, however, I don’t want the night to end. We decide to go to a casino to try out our luck. We stop buy an ATM, get a big fist full of cash and proceed to the Grosvenor Casino. There we make a lot of noise and splash our cash, we take advantage of cheap bar and buy some Jack Ds on the rock. An hour passes and we are all out of money and decide to continue the night at a gentlemen’s club. One more stop by an ATM and we are off to a strip club.
This is the last memory that I have before I wake up face down on my pillow in my suit. It smells like an ashtray. There is cigarette burn on one of the cuffs. I feel terrible, I have the shivers, my head is pounding and wait for it, the guilt and shame is rushing over me. I don’t remember how I got home and I think that I don’t even want to know. I turn off my phone so I don’t have to deal with my present situation; I am scared of seeing who I drunk dialled. What if it was my new boss??? I drink a bottle of water, take a shower and delete my MWO account as I am too ashamed of facing Byrdie, Kuya, Fin, RC, Slay, Lav, Star, Nurdl and every other person that encouraged me over the last 100 days of my sobriety. Damn I Fxxked up.......................
Friday 5:20pm
On my way home from work I run into an old friend. He is drinking a pint of my favourite larger and enjoying a Marlborough lights cigarette. We talked for a couple of minutes and he offered to buy me a drink. I apologise and say that I need to run home. I see a disappointed look in his eyes. I walk off thinking to myself "CLOSE CALL".
I get home and even though I am feeling like going out, I have a relaxing night in. Wake up early; go to the gym, where I break a 7 minute mile (personal record). Later I meet up with some friends in a newly opened winter wonderland park in Hyde Park. We ice skate, eat some hotdogs and have a very jolly time. I come home thinking tomorrow is my day 100. I feel full of pride and accomplishment.
Friends if you are still reading this. This post is meant to show you my new thinking process. I try to apply it to all my decisions. Give it a try it works wonders
ALLAN
This Friday on my way home from work I run into an old friend. Someone I have known for a number of years but we only spent time drinking together after work, during poker games and other drinking venues. I saw him outside a pub where we have enjoyed many evenings with our mutual friends.
He was drinking a pint of my favourite larger and enjoying a Marlborough lights cigarette. We talked for a couple of minutes and he offered to buy me a drink. I reluctantly agreed. However, after a first sip I remembered why I liked boozing so much. The cool, refreshing taste of Heineken hmmmm. Immediately my nicotine craving hit me like first love. I asked if I could borrow a cigarette, he said "Of course". We chatted for a while and it was my turn to buy drinks. We repeated the previous round. Now after the second beer I feel a lot more relaxed, it’s the best time of a night out. You feel uninhibited, calm and happy. Now I go to the cigarette machine and buy a whole pack since I know that the night will continue. We decide to meet our friends in another bar and share a taxi to Central London. We are greeted by all the people I have not seen in months. I offer to buy a round of shots. They buy me a cocktail. We drink for my new job. We drink for Ryan’s newborn daughter. We drink for upcoming holiday season... Now I am starting to feel very lightheaded and deep down I know that I am drank, however, I don’t want the night to end. We decide to go to a casino to try out our luck. We stop buy an ATM, get a big fist full of cash and proceed to the Grosvenor Casino. There we make a lot of noise and splash our cash, we take advantage of cheap bar and buy some Jack Ds on the rock. An hour passes and we are all out of money and decide to continue the night at a gentlemen’s club. One more stop by an ATM and we are off to a strip club.
This is the last memory that I have before I wake up face down on my pillow in my suit. It smells like an ashtray. There is cigarette burn on one of the cuffs. I feel terrible, I have the shivers, my head is pounding and wait for it, the guilt and shame is rushing over me. I don’t remember how I got home and I think that I don’t even want to know. I turn off my phone so I don’t have to deal with my present situation; I am scared of seeing who I drunk dialled. What if it was my new boss??? I drink a bottle of water, take a shower and delete my MWO account as I am too ashamed of facing Byrdie, Kuya, Fin, RC, Slay, Lav, Star, Nurdl and every other person that encouraged me over the last 100 days of my sobriety. Damn I Fxxked up.......................
Friday 5:20pm
On my way home from work I run into an old friend. He is drinking a pint of my favourite larger and enjoying a Marlborough lights cigarette. We talked for a couple of minutes and he offered to buy me a drink. I apologise and say that I need to run home. I see a disappointed look in his eyes. I walk off thinking to myself "CLOSE CALL".
I get home and even though I am feeling like going out, I have a relaxing night in. Wake up early; go to the gym, where I break a 7 minute mile (personal record). Later I meet up with some friends in a newly opened winter wonderland park in Hyde Park. We ice skate, eat some hotdogs and have a very jolly time. I come home thinking tomorrow is my day 100. I feel full of pride and accomplishment.
Friends if you are still reading this. This post is meant to show you my new thinking process. I try to apply it to all my decisions. Give it a try it works wonders
ALLAN
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