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    #1

    This year is coming to an end!

    Hello everyone,

    I am not new to this site by any means. I have had a lot of do's and don't's advise here and I love it. Problem is I am back at square 1 once again. The longest I have gone this year without wine is 35 days. I think it was the best 35 days I have felt in many years. Problem is just when I think I can control myself, I can't. So, I'm back here again lurking around. I want today to be day 1, but we have planned a big New Years Eve party for some friends and family and that's pretty much what we do is drink and drink and drink...and eat and eat and eat!

    I'm torn, last week I made 4 days sober free. Then I drank friday, saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, and the day is not over yet. All I know is I am starting to notice my body difference from when I wake. If I don't drink, I can think, I feel lighter, I'm not so bloated and I can remember when I went to bed and what I ate for dinner. When I drink, I don't remember tucking my kids in, how much I drank, what I ate, when I went to bed and I feel guilt, shame, and I can't think!

    Why would I keep doing that to myself? I don't want this anymore, my husband and I talked and said that after the first of the year we will stop all the nonsense. I think I need to start now, but then there is that stupid party. I don't know???

    THanks for listening
    Honeysoup :heart:
    Tags: None
    #2
    This year is coming to an end!

    Just think what a great inspiration it would be if you could manage to make it AF through such an AL laden holiday......if you started now, you could amass a few AF days before then. I just think that would be HUGE to start today, right now, this minute.....then muster up the strength not to drink on New Years Eve, the very first day of 2013 you would already be going down the right road.

    Ultimately its your choice, and I wish you all the strength needed whatever path you choose
    Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




    DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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      #3
      This year is coming to an end!

      Honeysoup-
      Just think how good it would feel to remember putting out the Santa gifts and waking up Christmas morning clear headed and able to enjoy the day with your children hungover free. You sound just like me. I too thought of waiting until the new year but decided three weeks ago I couldn't wait. So today I am on I think day 18. I am excited to be sober this holiday season. To be honest this time the first 5-6 days were hard but I don't even think about having a drink at night now. I am not saying I am not worried about having X-mas eve at my house which means there will be alcohol, but there is really only one person coming who is a big drinker. So if I was you I would start today. I know whenever I set a date out it comes and goes and I don't start. Good luck! You made 35 days before you can do it again. I had 90 eariler this year and loved it!
      (I'll never forget one year I put out the Santa gifts and threw away part of a toy. My daughter was so disappointed. I had to send my husband to the garbage and then pretend Santa dropped them out of his bag by the fireplace. Had I been sober that would never have happened.)

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        #4
        This year is coming to an end!

        Hi Honeysoup, I remember you from a long time ago. I'm glad you decided to come back. Honestly, I'd be really careful about quitting after "...insert event here..." We all know, that is just buying yourself more time to drink. I know it firsthand, because I tried to do it many times. I would just find a new event further off into the future, and kept drinking. We are all here for you and want you to succeed!
        "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
        AF 11/12/11

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          #5
          This year is coming to an end!

          I agree with everyone...getting thru the holidays AF is hard no matter when you start...so make THIS you first one, then next year will be 100 times easier...that's just what I'm finding. Just by posting this you know in your heart of heart what needs to happen....we can help! There are hundreds of us right along side you who will be AF. If I can do it, I know you can, too! Jump in...sometimes it takes a leap of faith. B
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

          Comment

            #6
            This year is coming to an end!

            I too thought about waiting until 1/1. That's because I always planned to stop TOMORROW. But 10 days ago, I took the leap. I couldn't stand to go through one more night of not remembering, of waking up tired, sick, hungover, trying to get through my day just long enough before I could go to the liquor store and not have it look terrible. I couldn't do it anymore, I took the leap and here I am, sober, AF! I'm so glad I did it, I FEEL GREAT! Can you hear me? Maybe if I tookt the bag off my head..........


            AF since 12/26/13

            "...........just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. One step at a time." Chris McCombs

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4

            Comment

              #7
              This year is coming to an end!

              I know I should just start today. And I feel like crap so, I really want it to be today. BUT, I know that if I choose to go down the sober path now, I will fail on New Years. I just wish I could call it off, but my husband is really looking forward to it. And yes, I could put my foot down and say no. But I won't. I can't be sure what I am going to do. I only know I want my life to depend on so much more than fulfilling my life with TV Shows and wine.

              Struggling!
              Honeysoup :heart:

              Comment

                #8
                This year is coming to an end!

                Honeysoup-Hippy's right. It is definately easier said than done, although it's not really that hard.

                You will get to that point, I just hope it's before something bad happens. For me, it was. Thank gosh.

                Stay well and check back with us.


                AF since 12/26/13

                "...........just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. One step at a time." Chris McCombs

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4

                Comment

                  #9
                  This year is coming to an end!

                  Hippyman you are so very right, however, I lived with me for 36 years and I know I would cave.
                  Honeysoup :heart:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    This year is coming to an end!

                    hi honeysoup,all i can say is ay least youre being honest,i figure if im gonna go af i want to truly be dedicated,i know ill drink christmas and new years however i am getting as many af days racked up as i can so im not recovering from some huge binge on the first,then drinking to feel normal
                    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      This year is coming to an end!

                      Hey Honeysoup :hallo:

                      Your post/s sounds so familiar - it's what i say to myself also... still do, even though three weeks ago I decided to literally go, screw it, if I'm going to kick it, I'm going to do when it's hardest - at christmas and new year. Now, the fact that you have this party makes it a lot harder to persuade yourself that, actually, if you went AF now that could be one of the most powerful actions you could do for both you (most importantly) and also your husband - does he drink as much as you do? You say you BOTH would work at beating AL in the new year?

                      You got two voices in your head. One is the REAL you. One is the voice of addiction (I call him Rick the Dick, Byrdie calls him Dick-head.) Rick the Dick-head is shitting a brick just now cos it knows what you are thinking - you're about to ditch the dick. And you are. You will. But it is your choice when.

                      Honeysoup;1430459 wrote: however, I lived with me for 36 years and I know I would cave.
                      This is Rick the Dick - not the real you...

                      Honeysoup;1430459 wrote: I know that if I choose to go down the sober path now, I will fail on New Years. ... And yes, I could put my foot down and say no. But I won't.
                      Again... Rick the Dick - not the real you...

                      Honeysoup;1430459 wrote:                       I only know I want my life to depend on so much more than fulfilling my life with TV Shows and wine.
                      Here you are. Listen... and let this speak loudest.

                      RC :l

                      Comment

                        #12
                        This year is coming to an end!

                        Honeysoup;1430459 wrote: Hippyman you are so very right, however, I lived with me for 36 years and I know I would cave.
                        Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes....it's all in your mind whether you win this or lose this. It IS your choice. B
                        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                        Tool Box
                        Newbie's Nest

                        Comment

                          #13
                          This year is coming to an end!

                          Your right Honey soup......at least it's only the year that's coming to an end and not the world ! Ha! Start new, AF........a good goal to accomplish ! Keep Jammin' man !
                          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                          Dr. Seuss

                          Comment

                            #14
                            This year is coming to an end!

                            Welcome back Honeysoup,

                            How about making a plan & commiting yourself?
                            Choose a quit date & just quit. What's wrong with tomorrow if you really want to start the new year in a positive way. Screw New Year's parties, what's more important to you? A party or the rest of your life?

                            You decide.
                            AF since 03/26/09
                            NF since 05/19/09
                            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                            Comment

                              #15
                              This year is coming to an end!

                              Well, it's after the new year and here I am. Day 3! Yippee My head and my stomach feel so much better. The downside is I am exhausted. I have been having the sweats which is discussing and horrid nightmares. They are so vivid, so needless to say I haven't slept well at all.

                              Still determined! I know many of you had stated that I should just quit right away, but I knew I would disappoint myself if I quit before New Years. Although, our party was a success, I am so glad that it's over and I can start my new sober journey in the year 2013.

                              I look forward to being back here and getting to know everyone.

                              Happy New Year!
                              Honeysoup :heart:

                              Comment

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