Any Advice-SO SCARED

[spicoli0420]

I don't know even where to start and I don't know where it all went wrong, but my alcoholism is beyond control. I wake up everyday wondering how I am alive and I have continued to destroy my body, my soul, and my life for this long. I am trying to make a stand and it is hard and it is also harder because I live on a small island in the middle of South East Asia: I have no support groups, Doctors don't speak English very well here, and I just lost. So the cycle continues. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the drug they prescribe me for that is also used for alcohol withdrawal and I abusing that too. I finally bought real Khudzu Root from a lady at the market and made tea this morning by boiling it. I also got Milk Thistle and L-Glutamine sent from my mom in a XMAS package with some Vitamin B as well. I am just scared to go cold turkey and get the DT's. I have drank every night for as long as I can remember. I think tapering is the best option, but with me it is usually ALL or NOTHING. If anyone has any advice about how to do this properly, any tips on how to taper, or how to safely go cold turkey it would be much appreciated. Also, this island doesn't has great medical centers-more like clinics and they usually don't speak English so I think I am on my own here. I am just praying I can make it through this difficult fight. Thanks. I am glad this site exists!!!

[kuya]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

Hi Spic and welcome to MWO.

I am so sorry you are in such a bad place......I have been there and it is hell!

Firstly we can't tell you if it is safe to just stop cos it depends on how much you drink and your own physiology.......so maybe you could fill in the blanks. Have you ever quit for a day or two?
Don't worry about the length of time, I drank daily for 23 years and quitting was no harder than for anyone else .....easier probably cos I had more incentive.

Anyway a bit more info would help and send me a private message if you want to chat as many members may be caught up with family stuff ATM

[Tipplerette]

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Hello Spic, I am sure you've connected with Kuya and he/she's talked things through with you. I am not an expert on tapering down so I'll pass on the advice but I just wanted to congratulate you for taking those first steps, recognition and looking for help. You are way ahead of most alcoholics so be proud of yourself and soon there will be wonderful people here to help you with your detox or to advice you to get some medical help despite it's difficulties. I'll be waiting to hear how you're doing. Take it day by day; that's all I can say.

[paulywogg]

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hi spicolli,i remember you from a couple months ago,still struggling huh?me too start taking the kudzu,taper taper taper,thats the only advice i have

[southernbelle47]

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Hey Spic
You are not alone........... I'm glad that you have reached out. What a nice Christmas present for yourself! Try to find something to do at night ...come on here and read and post if nothing else......Before you know it, hours will have passed.
I have a friend here that has a son far away from home and he has been alcohol free for almost a year. He is a marine. It IS hard.........but it can be done. xo

[K9Lover]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

Hi Spicoli and Welcome!

YES, getting sober is hard...but YES, getting sober is worth it! I know it might seem so overwhelming right now, but take it one day, hour, minute or second at a time. There's really no other way to live anyway right? Don't project too far into the future, just do what you can right NOW to stay sober. Keep yourself distracted. Read books, take baths, go to the library, take a long walk...whatever it takes. If it stayed as hard as it is in the beginning, not many of us would make it...but believe me, it DOES get easier as time passes. I was never able to taper so I can't provide any advice on that. For me it's all or nothing, and ALL got pretty darn exhausting...nothing is proving to be much better.

Stick close to us and let us know how you're progressing!

K9

[almost free]

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Welcome to you, Spicoli!

You will find many warm friends on My Way Out. There are so many kind and supportive people here. Lots of stuff to read and feedback from people all over the world, on what is working for them. There is a great link at the bottom of Kuya's post. Very informative about alcoholism, yet so easy to read. A really excellent article.

This site also offers, the MWO book, cds, supplements. Advice on tapering from people who have done it that way. Just read, read, read. Lots to learn and passes the time, too. Get to know us and let us know how you are doing. So glad you found us!

[almost free]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

Hey, Spicoli, come over and join us in the Newbie's Nest. Lots of people over there in all stages of their quit. If you like, you can also jump on to the Newbie's Nest Roll Call, where some of us check in daily. Some people find it helpful to do that. Good luck!

[nancy]

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environment

Hi Spic,
Do you have to stay on the island? Why are you there with no support system?
Can you go stay with relatives and friends for a while and sublet?
Some of the people here have experience with tapering down. And some with more severe alcohol problems are taking drugs like baclofen while still drinking. That drug is said to be very good for anxiety. You can check the meds section.

Finally, there might be people here who would be willing to talk to you by phone and offer support if you reach out and ask.

Take care,
Nancy

[Wildflowers]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

spicoli0420;1432154 wrote: I don't know even where to start and I don't know where it all went wrong, but my alcoholism is beyond control. I wake up everyday wondering how I am alive and I have continued to destroy my body, my soul, and my life for this long. I am trying to make a stand and it is hard and it is also harder because I live on a small island in the middle of South East Asia: I have no support groups, Doctors don't speak English very well here, and I just lost. So the cycle continues. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the drug they prescribe me for that is also used for alcohol withdrawal and I abusing that too. I finally bought real Khudzu Root from a lady at the market and made tea this morning by boiling it. I also got Milk Thistle and L-Glutamine sent from my mom in a XMAS package with some Vitamin B as well. I am just scared to go cold turkey and get the DT's. I have drank every night for as long as I can remember. I think tapering is the best option, but with me it is usually ALL or NOTHING. If anyone has any advice about how to do this properly, any tips on how to taper, or how to safely go cold turkey it would be much appreciated. Also, this island doesn't has great medical centers-more like clinics and they usually don't speak English so I think I am on my own here. I am just praying I can make it through this difficult fight. Thanks. I am glad this site exists!!!

:welcome: spicoli0420 to MWO,

I hear your desperate cry for help!!!.... I've been there to friend more times then I care to count!!! I'm one of the lucky & grateful ones!!! I'm alive!.. I'm more fortunate that I'm in the states, have Ins & many resources available.

However, not all is lost for you by any means here!!!... Others have been in similar situations & have overcome & beat the dragon!!!... We've beat these awful addictions & have found hope & freedom!!!... Have learned ways to manage GAD & other physical, mental, emotional, behavior or even spiritual health issues. Sometimes with only Holistic life style changes, may I add. Yet, others have had to be aided by others avenues.

You are smart by being your own health care advocate, doing research & taking action!!! Along with this gift of fear, desperation, willingness to get sober! You to can get your life back like many of us have!!! Don't give up!!!... There is hope, & a good life after alcoholism!!!... I promise you!!!..

I also have GAD & PTSD!!! There were periods in my drinking career where I could drink 2/3 of a gallon of vodka & throw in some beers. Drank everyday, then not, then binged. I also was able to have a few times of modding. In general, it was all or nothing for me as well. Started drinking when I was a teen. I'm 50 now.

I've detoxed in the hospital, at home with diazepam 2-3 times. Then as my tolerance decreased for the most part, I switched to wine & beer, but not always. Of course I drank those before to. I used beer to titrate down a few times & my last quit. I used light beer like Hippyman suggested. Here is a link that may help. How To Taper Off Alcohol Please either have somebody stay with you or check in on you!!!....

I never had seizures, so according to my GP I was at low risk. Tho he said the more detoxes the harder it was on my aging body. Really as you know it would be best to be under a physicians care. Yet, I wasn't ea time.

If all else fails go to the clinic & get meds. Yet, not sure that's going to work as you say your taking a med now that may help already. Not sure if it's a benzo your taking for your GAD? Which your likely aware this can be a deadly cocktail mixed with alcohol. If for some reason none of this works ( know your hoping it does & it may). Please just save your life, quit your job (if your employed) go home & get professional in-patient rehab help. Nothing is more important than your life & your families!!!... You can overcome this!!! Many of us have!!!!

I'm seven months sober!!! Who would have thought a serious alkie like me who drank for 30 years with some time off binging in my twenties. I know others who were worse off then me, who have survived, are reasonably happy, productive with years of sobriety.

I also take a low dose of Topamax it's part of my plan that helps re-wire my brain. It's treating my anxiety which leads to depression. Part of my addiction is physiological, psychological, etc. Do whatever you have to, to save your life!!! You are worth it hun!!!...:l

If you can put fresh squeezed lemon in your water this will help you detox & turn your acidic ph back to alkaline to. Dandelion root is also good for your liver. I take it with milk thistle.

Let us know if we can provide any further assistance, support, encouragement!!! We are here for you!!!.... Keep being proactive like you are & you will achieve sobriety! :l :h

[Lasha]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

how to taper

Hi Spicoli0420,
I had a nice man come to my house from alcoholic councillors, he told me tapering is the best and least harmful, I've had hallucinations, DT's and alcoholic fits from stopping and gone back on the pop so this is his recommendation:-

Taper down about 2 units or 1 drink per week, I thought that sounds not too bad and over 4 months have come down from 44 units per day to 12

Wow where was he before, it wasn't that bad and life is so much better, going for single figures in new year.

Hope this helps and remember keep a record of your units daily and keep posting.

Lash the drummer

[spicoli0420]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

I have been meaning to thank EVERYONE that reached out to me and gave me advice. I am SO LOST and so far away from home and I needed to hear all the positive vibes, stories, and things other people went through. I apologize for not getting back sooner to you all. I have been trying to taper and I don't think that will work for me. I was keeping a journal of what Vitamins I was taking, the amount of Kudzu, and the L-Glutamine as well. Also, the number of drinks a night I would drink. Initially it was working-Slowly going down each week (Trying to be as safe as I can on this island). Some nights I felt so good and felt like it was working and then one night I would drink and wake up wondering what happened. I want to go cold turkey and want to know if any of you drank almost everyday for a year or so? I told my girlfriend about the problem and she is supportive, but I feel like I was hiding this too long . But she promised to get me through this and be beside me and watch me for any terrible symptoms such as the DT'S. Thanks again everybody and I thank you all for writing me. It truly means a lot and I want to live again and not just exist. I will keep you posted.

[spicoli0420]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

Dear Kuya,

Thanks for the message and so sorry for the late reply. Tapering isn't working like I thought and I was wondering if you have any advice on going cold Turkey. I just want to be safe. My girlfriend is also supportive of my decision and will watch over me and check my condition. I really appreciate how you reach out to people you don't know: Such a giving and caring person who sounds like they might have struggled themselves and just wants to help people. You and this website are a blessing. Thanks a ton.

Jeff

[K9Lover]

Any Advice-SO SCARED

Hi Spicoli!
Glad to see you again...it's great that your girlfriend knows about your situation and is willing to help you. I had to quit cold turkey...tapering NEVER worked for me. I could start out with the best intentions, but after 5-6 beers I just didn't care, so I'd head out to the store to get more! For me it is all or nothing...and I choose nothing. I did, however, have the help of a doctor and medicine. I drank heavily for 10 years...12+ beers per night, and I never had any DT's or severe withdrawals even without medicine. Please stick close to us and let us know how you're doing ok?
Take care!
K9