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    #1

    A special call out for anyone who needs it.

    There are wonderful people on these boards who give a lot of themselves but can't meet everyone's needs and sometimes people slip though the cracks and feel very isolated and alone. Some people feel they have been missed or aren't getting a hand when they need it. Although we can't solve all problems, we can give a hug, compassion, and some love and maybe by starting a thread that makes a point to say, please don't miss me, I really need a hand, it will help alert people here to take a moment to reach out to one or two people who are feeling that way. I'm making this thread out of request and for those who feel isolated so they don't have to feel that way. Sometimes we just need a pathway to call attention to it.

    Love,

    Slay
    Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat
    Tags: None
    #2
    A special call out for anyone who needs it.

    You don't need to be positive or a cheerleader on this thread. I know sometimes I'm afraid to be too negative on the NN because I don't want to cause anyone else to slip, so feel free to post on this thread if you don't feel the nest is right for you. It does help many people, but I've seen enough people feel it's just not right for them. This is a thread for you to maybe meet up with others who don't feel the nest is quite the right fit so you don't feel alone. MWO is a place to find your way out. It is about the right fit for YOU.

    Love,

    Slay

    :l
    Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

    Comment

      #3
      A special call out for anyone who needs it.

      Thank you slay for starting this thread

      I had a good start a couple of weeks ago but couldn't keep it up and then didn't want to post because everyone was doing so well on N N. so I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to abandon my attempt so I would check in here daily but felt I would be a downer to those who were doing so well.

      I am in awe of those who have been able to be AF for long term, but I would like to be able to feel not too ashamed to be here if I have a few days of drinking after achieving more days of AF than I've had in the past 20 years. It is still a huge step forward for me.

      Comment

        #4
        A special call out for anyone who needs it.

        You're welcome, New Day. I feel there is a need for another thread because this is a reoccurring issue with people here. There are posters who do a great job on the NN and this thread is not to take away from that in any way. It is, however, a thread to fill a gap I see. I think there are plenty of posters who feel just as you and I do. We don't want to trip anyone up on the nest, so to keep the tension and pressure off of those who do good in the nest, I think this is a worthwhile thread. The nest does it's job well, but there is a further need that is going unmet. This should help both those who are helping and those in need of help not feel so much of that pressure. I hope it is a positive for MWO and its participants.

        No worries of tripping someone up on this thread. You can post on both threads or whatever feels right.

        Love,

        Slay:l

        Off to bed...ZZZZzzzzZZZzzz
        Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

        Comment

          #5
          A special call out for anyone who needs it.

          New Day;1432696 wrote: I had a good start a couple of weeks ago but couldn't keep it up and then didn't want to post because everyone was doing so well on N N. so I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to abandon my attempt so I would check in here daily but felt I would be a downer to those who were doing so well.

          I am in awe of those who have been able to be AF for long term, but I would like to be able to feel not too ashamed to be here if I have a few days of drinking after achieving more days of AF than I've had in the past 20 years. It is still a huge step forward for me.
          That perception is in your mind. Lots of peeps in the nest slip up, post it, get the support and get back on the horse. NN is there for people to try to get extended periods......some take several goes. No one is chastised or told anything except.... 'Don't worry, it takes time and mistakes...... Just go again'. If someone decides, as an adult, to try moderating there are plenty of threads for that too.

          I don't know how the likes of Byrdie, lav and K9 and Lola put in all the time (unpaid and untrained) and then have these criticisms levelled at them which are merely projections of the writers OWN sense of shame and failure.

          TBH all the whinging today is really pissing me off. This is a site for people to get support to stop or reduce their drinking to safe levels....... Not a bloody kindergarten !

          Comment

            #6
            A special call out for anyone who needs it.

            Kuya, you know I respect you! In the mind or not, it is a common sensitivity here that constantly erupts. There is no way the NN can address all issues nor the people who post on that thread handle all the demands. I think it is a good idea for both needs to be addressed with another thread. Byrdie puts so much time in on that board and this thread in no way takes away from that. This thread is as much for her as it is for the posters. SHE can't handle everyone's needs. That thread is really for getting people to the 30 days and requires a positive atmosphere. By starting another thread that is allowed to be negative without fear, it helps everyone. You are misreading the point of this thread. It's to help, not harm. There is so much sensitivity and emotional issues around alcohol, that it needs to be separated out a bit. The NN helped me get through my first AF stint. I have given back, but I feel that there is a need for a place where people can let their hair down a bit without the positive factor.

            PLEASE Bryd and all don't feel this is a cut against what you've given and give. It is to fill a gap and try to help. HELPING is all it's about. Not personal.

            Love,

            Slay
            Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

            Comment

              #7
              A special call out for anyone who needs it.

              Kuya please remove that post. This is not a frickin competition. Let this thread be what the author has compassionately intended it to be.
              Psalms 119:45


              ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

              St. Francis of Assisi



              I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

              :rays:

              Comment

                #8
                A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                X-post Slay. I will remove my post when Kuya does. Promise!
                Psalms 119:45


                ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                St. Francis of Assisi



                I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                :rays:

                Comment

                  #9
                  A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                  RingingCedars;1432712 wrote: Kuya please remove that post. This is not a frickin competition. Let this thread be what the author has compassionately intended it to be.
                  Have to agree. This is not a competition. It is to fill a need that some folks need. PERIOD!!! Help on these boards in any manner and for anyone should always be appreciated. Why does it have to be a one size fits all? The world never works that way. See a need, offer a solution. It's a very logical way to deal with both sides of this issue. Please don't turn this into fight. I'm here to help those in need. Maybe if someone can get some things met on this thread, then they will be ready to really give a fight on the NN and succeed. Peace!

                  Love,

                  Slay
                  Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                  Comment

                    #10
                    A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                    hi slay,this is the place for some of us,im sorry to offend anyone else but someone was told not to post drinking stories in the nest a few weeks ago,i think her name was...something we all are,hopefully this thread can be some support for people who need an open ear?
                    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                      Between Pauly's thread and this one, I think I had a lightbulb moment....

                      "Why am I uncomfortable, and why does that call for a drink?"

                      I wonder what would happen if I made quick exits from very boring, or extremely stressful, situations?
                      "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

                      Comment

                        #12
                        A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                        New Day;1432696 wrote: I had a good start a couple of weeks ago but couldn't keep it up and then didn't want to post because everyone was doing so well on N N. so I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to abandon my attempt so I would check in here daily but felt I would be a downer to those who were doing so well.

                        I am in awe of those who have been able to be AF for long term, but I would like to be able to feel not too ashamed to be here if I have a few days of drinking after achieving more days of AF than I've had in the past 20 years. It is still a huge step forward for me.
                        New Day the best thing you can do is to keep posting. Keep being alcohol free in the forefront of your mind. I didn't take my own advice when I was trying to quit. I'd just disappear out of shame. But the truth is that it took me 4 or 5 quits before I "got it." And I hope that I've got it now. We are all here for you, whether you slip up or not.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                          Juja;1432843 wrote: Between Pauly's thread and this one, I think I had a lightbulb moment....

                          "Why am I uncomfortable, and why does that call for a drink?"

                          I wonder what would happen if I made quick exits from very boring, or extremely stressful, situations?
                          Juja do whatever you have to do to deal with the situation. Truth is, nothing calls for a drink. About a month ago I lost someone very close to me. I went home and thought about how grateful I was that I could deal with her death sober; grateful that I could be there, fully present and hold her and tell her I loved her as she passed. Then I thought how funny the difference in my thinking. A year ago her death would have been the perfect excuse to drink. "I deserve a drink after this!" That type of nonsense I would have been telling myself. But it's all rubbish.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                            Morning all. Running a bit late with things this morning. I've only read a couple posts replying to Pauly's thread, but several are dead on such as flyaway, skendall and others. I want to post something RC responded to Pauly with here. It is spot on for me and maybe for many of you. Dealing with life without our escape route can be hard and quite painful at times and it can seem flat as well as we are used to living in another world as another person.

                            Originally Posted by RunningCourage View Post
                            Hey Pauly,

                            I hear you... I'll be straight up ok, and I've not posted stuff about xmas really yet, but it was hard. I wanted a drink. I wanted to not have to feel the way I felt. Enjoy it? No, to be honest, not really - certainly not if you go by any dictionary definition of the word "enjoy". I knew that if i had a a drink - or, yes, a few - that i'd have that halcyon glow thing going on and I'd feel good. True. And this week? This week I feel like running away into a bottle. And Hogmanay? How the fuck am i suppose to do that sober? Sit in a pub with friends as they get drunk over a period of hours as I sip coke? Sounds like a nightmare.

                            So what keeps me going? Read Byrdie's posts. Read Freefly. Read Kuya. I look at it from 30,000 feet. I force myself to remember how for years I would dream about giving up AL - even if only for a certain period of time, whether that be a night, a week, a year or longer. Part of me detests right now, yet the wiser part of me, the part of me I want to feed, is saying STICK AT IT, STICK AT IT, STICK AT IT, STICK FUCKING AT IT.

                            Why?

                            Because I have a belief (and please do ask me again in a years time if this belief has come true or not) that 75% of my time with AL was used to dilute, cover up, drown anything and everything I didn't want to feel... yeah, that's right, the shit stuff.

                            And now I get to feel all that - the shit stuff. Bit by bit. Slowly. BUT ... by allowing myself to feel, to process (hopefully in due course) these feelings, deal with them, then... then... perhaps I might truly heal.

                            I can't do that by drinking.

                            So I believe in the magic that peeps speak about here. But it just doesn't happen overnight. It takes a struggle. Work. Graft. Pain. Tears. But it must be worth it, surely?

                            RC
                            Oh boy the stuff I'm having to face without it is hard, but the bright side is I AM DEALING WITH it now instead of staying in denial and a coma just waiting for it to change on its own. It takes being sober to see clearly and face things that need to be faced properly so you can get your life on a happy peaceful positive path. In the meantime, you are going to have a fight on your hands and it may well be an ugly, painful, tear jerking, anxiety ridden fight, but if you stay where you are at, it will not only not change, but your life will get worse. Look at where it takes people. The damage their lives are filled with over time and you never have true relationships. They are all based on this false state while you slowly poison your body and health.

                            It's a fight with slips and bad emotions. Feel free to post those struggles and those doubting thoughts. Maybe by getting them out, they will lose the power we give them and make them easier to fight.

                            Inspirational Quote: "Getting sober just exploded my life. Now I have a much clearer sense of myself and what I can and can't do. I am more successful than I have ever been. I feel very positive where I never did before, and I think that's all a direct result of getting sober.
                            Jamie Lee Curtis


                            The mind is a critical battlefield in this war. You have two personalities fighting one another. When the AL supporting one is winning, the real you is losing. The AL supporting one has been in control for a long time. It has been strengthened, built a large weaponry room, and has the home field advantage of familiarity and brain chemistry. The real you is weak and needs time to get trained and as strong and advantaged as the AL side. You have to get reacquainted and become a friend and advocate for him/her again. So, you can expect to feel all kinds of tricks and lies. We have believed them for a long time. We don't even know who that other person is to function or be or COPE with things under him or her. Not only that but all around you the battle is be waged through commercialism and many of your friends are duped, too. Time heals is right, but you will lose some battles along the way, but you can win the war and reclaim yourself the way you were born to be, not drugged up and artificial.

                            There are so many ways to escape our stress and uncomfortable feelings in life and alcohol is one of them. They have even found that shopping is an addiction that releases dopamine and can cause an addiction to escape to get pleasure. It takes more and more to get that pleasure. If there are things you are trying to escape that are tripping you up, maybe in time you can let some of that out and start to feel it is something you can conquer and heal from or fix. You have to get in a state of mind where you can do that though and be willing to get there with some work. Eliminating AL out of your life is work and it isn't easy because of the above factors.

                            Love,

                            Slay
                            Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                            Comment

                              #15
                              A special call out for anyone who needs it.

                              FlyAway;1432880 wrote: Juja do whatever you have to do to deal with the situation. Truth is, nothing calls for a drink. About a month ago I lost someone very close to me. I went home and thought about how grateful I was that I could deal with her death sober; grateful that I could be there, fully present and hold her and tell her I loved her as she passed. Then I thought how funny the difference in my thinking. A year ago her death would have been the perfect excuse to drink. "I deserve a drink after this!" That type of nonsense I would have been telling myself. But it's all rubbish.
                              So true. We picked up the habit and now we are trained to think we need or deserve a drink. I've been in an abusive toxic relationship and my way of dealing with the pain of it all has been to drink. I'm finally facing up to it after being body slammed into the concrete and am forcing myself to take this to the law now. Today I have to go to the police station and file criminal charges. Now, I've let myself feel the pain and am going to walk through it. Do I want to? NO! Do I need to? Yes! Alcohol would just leave me in a state that doesn't address the pain so I can heal from it. I need my clarity of mind to get through this and it tells me this is the only way to get to the other side of this mess and hurt. No way to stop it with alcohol. All that does is keep you in a state of avoidance and denial. Alcohol will never give someone a clean peaceful life. It will only create the illusion until some truly bad harm comes to your life. If you start the fight today, you can eliminate the regrets and more loss of time and as you get more time in your reality, you'll start to feel empowered and your other self will become less and less.

                              Love,

                              Slay
                              Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                              Comment

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