A special call out for anyone who needs it.

[NoraC]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

I just found this thread!! Wonderful thread. Thank you Slay.

It is hard sometimes when everyone seems to be doing so well and you are not. I have been there many, many times. I have found myself just pulling away and not posting. I hope that everyone will come here & post instead of pulling away. :h

[Raven2012]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Hi Slay
Have you ever read, watched the Secret Garden with your kids? I just sat down with my little girl yesterday and watched the movie with her. The book was written 85 years ago! . It was such a wonderful way to bond with her. We've struggle a bit. She's six and the girl in the movie was ten.

I want to hear more about what's going on with your custody situation. If my situation ends up this way I may be in need of advice. I so hope you can be back in touch with your kids. Much love, Raven.

[Slaythefear]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Happy New Year All!

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
― Oprah Winfrey

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”
― Edith Lovejoy Pierce


Hello Nora. Nice to see you. I noted myself feeling the same way a couple times and plenty of others feeling some pain. I understand that many of us have some heavy burdens and struggles in our lives that are triggers for turning to a bottle and sometimes we win and sometimes we don't, so I am hoping a thread where people can just open up and let things out and not feel they need to keep it inside will help. It's, also, a hand for anyone who feels they aren't being heard for one reason or the other. Isolation of pain or feeling alone can be very destructive.

Cedars, I will do that once I figure this pet out. lol My daughter let him out twice and we quickly learned what a high strung animal this is and it does NOT want to go back into the cage. You have to handle them carefully because their bones are very thin. I like both names, but prefer Chubaka. Chewy is one less syllable and easier to say and my daughter likes it (it's like a nickname)...thinking...

I have been feeding squirrels and chipmunks for years. Every year I have squirrels that come right up to my window and lean against the glass on their hind legs looking for nuts. They steal my bird feeders, too. I love nature. I have some great photos...maybe I'll share some soon. Would like to start collecting more in 2013. After my mess resolves, I'll have more time for things I enjoy.

Raven, my daughter is 21 now, so our relationship has evolved past youngster stage. There are still issues as a mom I deal with as I will never outgrow that role. I sure wish I had had a mom's thread during the teen years, though. Wowza, so many battles, tears and stresses can surface raising children. I regret having drank through some of them vs. dealing with them in a better way. I did not have a support system or build one for myself that was healthy. That's very important. Although divorce is never easy, I agreed to joint custody and no support just to get out of the marriage as quick as possible. My daughter lived with me and visited her dad when she felt alright with it, but he continued with the mental abuse so for a few years she was a mess and did not see him much. I didn't want a blood bath divorce and told him if he loved her, he'd help provide for her as he could. I left it at that. My first lawyer was furious I wasn't asking for support, but my daughter and I had already been through so much, I just wanted out. Unfortunately what had happened through the years had effected both my daughter and myself and he used my daughter a lot to try to get me back and blamed her for the divorce (WHICH WAS NOT IT...HE WAS THE PROBLEM), but I finally left for her mental well being. My advice is to do the best you can to stay sober and stable. Build yourself support so you don't feel so alone and turn to a bottle. It's an adjustment to be with someone and then be alone. I found it joyous in not having to deal with all the mental anguish any longer, but there is a loneliness factor I didn't address all that well.

Anytime you want to vent or ask questions, feel free to do so. I or we may not be able to answer them all, but you have a place to at least get some support.:h

I believe I read the book with my daughter when she was young. She was home schooled for her younger years. One reason was health issues which I nursed her through and she got better and went into school in six grade. We read books weekly, so at this age, I don't remember them all off hand. I'll have to do a review of the book.

Pauly, I hope you are doing well. If you drank or not, it's a new year. Same for everyone. 2013 is a year of hope and to make changes in your life for improvement. Nothing has to stay the same if we choose to make the changes whether easy or difficult.

Love,

Slay

[New Day]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Hello everyone......well here it is 2013. A fresh start for me. I had a few runs of AF days in December. The first for many years. The last one ended last night, but I'm not feeling bad about it today because I know I hadn't committed to myself not to have a drink on New Year's Eve......so I had some wine with dinner and a couple of glasses more, but instead of carrying on and then opening champagne, I just had no desire for more. So I went to bed at 10:30.... We were all tired and I was getting up with my grandson when he woke this morning. And my hubby had spent 7 hours at emergency with his parents (his father had a fall.....but a mass showed up on his aorta so now there will be more doctors apps and tests).

We really are feeling like the sandwich generation!


My other daughter had to leave for the airport at 3:00 am, so she went to bed early as well. I think this is the first time I've missed seeing the new year in. The daughter that was out at a house party said it was very anticlimactic, so I don't feel I missed much.

I plan to do my first 30 days AF, starting today. Good luck to everyone with their plans and goals for 2013.

:h

[NoraC]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to check in & say Happy New Year.:h

[paulywogg]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

bleh,biggest hangover ever! what a creep,all these good plans for the new year i dusted by drinking too much! im pissed at myself it wasnt even fun,we went to my daughters boyfriends moms place,i left my husband home cuz hes smart enough to know better than to stay up and get hammered.So i rang in the new year without my best friend,i missed the fireworks,the countdown and now i feel like shit,i shoulda stayed sober,woulda been funner,its just hard when everyone seems to be having a blast and im in the corner with my water

[Slaythefear]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Hi Paulywogg. Sounds like you need some new activities to enjoy in your life. Doing the same old same old can be a strong trigger...habits are hard to break, but maybe start picking one new activity to add into your life at a time to change things up where alcohol wouldn't be involved. It's a new year...read back over previous posts or maybe start keeping a journal to refer to so you remind yourself how you feel afterwards. Today is a new day.

Love,

Slay

[Kradle123]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Polly IMHO the very fact you popped right on back here and talked about last night is a HUGE success :goodjob:

Your journey keeps us humble and wise. stay close :l:h

[Slaythefear]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Hi Kradle! How are things in your neck of the woods? Any progress with your son? How are you feeling these days?

Love,

Slay

[Slaythefear]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Today is a tough day!

It is so very hard to keep my head up these last couple days. Not even my own encouragement is working. Losing someone you love or having to walk away can be so very very difficult. It's hard to see the sunshine on the horizon when you are surrounded by dark clouds. and pain. I'll have a decent day and then 'bam', it's as if the lights have all burned out again. Closes family down, too, so no one is carrying the light right now.

PLEASE change me into a Vulcan.

Slay

[paulywogg]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

stay strong slay! i know its hard,especially when you love someone,just hang in there

[Slaythefear]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Thank you, Pauly!! Really needed a response. Having a hard time the last couple days...very down and hurt. It's, also, hard enough emotionally to have to try and prosecute someone for abuse that you have loved and then have to deal with a messed up legal system. I was talking to a policeman that I had to drop off the doctor visit paperwork to because that wasn't handled properly, and he was telling me good luck. Everyone passes the buck. The county I am filing in is a mess and very disorganized. I know it's the holidays, so I am hoping that is why this has been so hard to get things handled, but I fear it's a bit of both especially after three people in the system have admitted it is a mess. He comes back into the country tomorrow and they have yet to get anything processed to protect me.

The next time I see an ad about don't hide it, tell someone, I'm going to cry. It just seems like in so many areas doing wrong is protected while doing right gets you nowhere.

Sad and frustrated!

Slay

[Hippyman]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

Slaythefear;1438009 wrote: Thank you, Pauly!! Really needed a response. Having a hard time the last couple days...very down and hurt. It's, also, hard enough emotionally to have to try and prosecute someone for abuse that you have loved and then have to deal with a messed up legal system. I was talking to a policeman that I had to drop off the doctor visit paperwork to because that wasn't handled properly, and he was telling me good luck. Everyone passes the buck. The county I am filing in is a mess and very disorganized. I know it's the holidays, so I am hoping that is why this has been so hard to get things handled, but I fear it's a bit of both especially after three people in the system have admitted it is a mess. He comes back into the country tomorrow and they have yet to get anything processed to protect me.

The next time I see an ad about don't hide it, tell someone, I'm going to cry. It just seems like in so many areas doing wrong is protected while doing right gets you nowhere.

Sad and frustrated!

Slay

Let's find something to change your mood. We'll have lunch together. What's your favorite food??? We'll eat that! OK? OK!

[K9Lover]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

paulywogg;1436335 wrote: bleh,biggest hangover ever! what a creep,all these good plans for the new year i dusted by drinking too much! im pissed at myself it wasnt even fun......................................its just hard when everyone seems to be having a blast and im in the corner with my water

Remember this next time a craving hits Pauly...remember how much "fun" you had nursing your hangover. I do this all the time...remember the TRUTH (bad) about drinking...not the supposed "blast" everyone else is having. :h

[paulywogg]

A special call out for anyone who needs it.

thank you K9, oh yes tuesday hubs and i had the day off together,coulda been a nice relaxing day,nope he was chipper and i felt like dying! its over,ill always remember that day from now on