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    2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

    March 30th






    Accepting Yourself Unconditionally


    Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that you think other people have toward you. When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance and self-esteem goes straight up.

    The best way to build a healthy personality involves understanding yourself and your feelings.

    Letting the Light Shine In

    This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won't make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

    Become Aware of Your Feelings

    The second part of personality development follows from self-disclosure, and it's called self-awareness. Only when you can disclose what you're truly thinking and feeling to someone else can you become aware of those thoughts and emotions. If the other person simply listens to you without commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop perspective, or what Buddhists call "detachment."


    Accept the Person You Are


    Now we come to the good part. After you've gone through self-disclosure to self-awareness, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for the person you are, with good points and bad points, with strengths and weaknesses, and with the normal frailties of a human being. When you develop the ability to stand back and look at yourself honestly, and to candidly admit to others that you may not be perfect but you're all you've got, you start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.

    Do an Inventory of Your Accomplishments


    A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance involves doing an inventory of yourself. In doing this inventory, your job is to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative. Think of your unique talents and abilities. Think of your core skills, the things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your profession and in your personal life right now.

    Think About Your Future


    Think about your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do and go where you want to go. You can be the person you want to be. You can set large and small goals and make plans and move step-by-step, progressively toward their realization. There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that you create in your mind.

    Action Exercises


    First, sit down with your spouse, or a good friend, and tell him or her about something that is troubling you and is still causing you unhappiness.

    Second, develop perspective on your problem by standing back from it and imagining that it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?

    Third, think continually about the good experiences and accomplishments you have enjoyed in the past. Remind yourself regularly that you are a pretty good person and you've done a lot of good things in your life.

    By Brian Tracy
    AF 6 years
    NF 7 years

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

    Comment


      2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

      How much do you charge for your counseling services, FA? :H:H:H

      I love the post - thanks! NS

      Comment


        2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

        March 31st, Easter Sunday

        NoSugar;1485257 wrote: How much do you charge for your counseling services, FA? :H:H:H
        Nothing... as long as you don't mind that I don't have the right answer! :H:H:H:
        AF 6 years
        NF 7 years

        A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

        Comment


          2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

          March 31st, Easter Sunday



          AF 6 years
          NF 7 years

          A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

          Comment


            2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

            The battle to forgive...

            Forgiveness
            by Chuck Smoot
            Jesus said to turn the other cheek

            He also said to forgive 7 times 70

            Easy for Him to say

            He was God

            Or at least the son of God



            How do I get to the place

            Where I forgive those

            Who disrespect me and malign me

            Those who could care less about my feelings

            Yet I still care about theirs



            Why is forgiveness so hard

            Why does it take so much out of you

            Why is it easier to hold on to a grudge

            Rather than to let it go

            Am I doing something wrong



            If it is true that we are to love others

            As we love ourselves

            And we stay mad at ourselves

            For our misdeeds and misdoing

            Is it realistic to easily forgive someone



            If you extend the olive branch

            Of friendship and kindness and forgiveness

            And it is not returned

            Should you really keep trying

            Even if you feel it is a lost cause



            Or will persistence win the day

            With the honesty and sincerity of words

            Be recognized and acknowledged

            Followed by a reasonable attempt

            To let bygones be bygones



            Is this one of the famous battles

            Between head and heart

            With both having opposing views

            But the same hold on your psyche

            Neither winning, neither losing



            Sometimes I wonder

            If our lack of ability to forgive

            Is truly more rooted in our

            Bruised ego and hurt feelings

            Perhaps the pain we feel is comforting



            If I were to release my anger and my pain

            Only to be knocked again

            Who becomes the bigger fool

            Me for trying

            Or them for doing



            I wish that such matters were as easy

            As a game of tic-tac-toe

            Or perhaps it is

            Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose

            Neither happens if you don't take a chance



            So I resolve to forgive

            To be the bigger and better person

            Give of myself as I would want others

            To give to me

            And perhaps this time everyone will win.
            Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

            Comment


              2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

              April 1, 2013...A day at a time.

              Taking Life One Day at a Time Setting Goals
              Kurt Evans

              Taking life one day at a time is often easier said than done. After all, with all of the daily pressures, sometimes it becomes too much, to focus on setting goals.

              One Day At A Time

              When we take life one day at a time, it gives us the chance to work on setting goals and live in the present moment. When we live in the present moment, we're able to get tasks accomplished and goals achieved.

              What's The Difference Between Tasks And Goals?

              Tasks are things that you have to do, like washing the dishes, vacuuming, and doing laundry. Goals are things that you want to do, like take a vacation or write a book.

              Sense Of Accomplishment

              When we get goals achieved, and we check them off our list of goals, it gives us a sense of accomplishment. This accomplishment gives us a sense of acceptance of ourselves as being able to accomplish whatever goals we set for ourselves. Ultimately, this leads to us having faith in ourselves, and our goals. We come to know that we can accomplish anything that we set our minds to.

              Life

              Taking life one day at a time, keeps you from worrying about the future. It keeps your mind focused in the direction that you want to go and it keeps you from future tripping.

              History

              History has proven time and time again, that if you keep your mind focused on something; then, that's where you'll end up.

              Actions

              When you're constantly focused on your goals and getting them achieved; then, the actions that you take are bound to take you in that direction.
              Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

              Comment


                2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                Hi Slay

                Just checking in. I really appreciate your encouragement thread. It helps.

                Best to you,

                Raven

                Comment


                  2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                  April 2, 2013...Do the next right thing

                  What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

                  Early in my career, I was the marketing director for a book publishing company. Because of my workload and the on-going pressure to produce results, I felt overwhelmed. I was certain that it was only a matter of time before my boss discovered that I was in over my head.

                  This produced uncertainty. I was afraid to act. Instead, I worried and spent an inordinate amount of time thinking through worst-case scenarios—something I am pretty good at.

                  Frustrated, I went to a wise, older colleague and poured out my soul. He listened patiently, then said something I will never forget:

                  “Mike, just do the next right thing.”

                  “That’s it?” I asked.

                  “Yep. That’s it,” he replied. “You’re over-thinking it. Just do the next right thing. It will be okay.”

                  That simple concept simultaneously gave me relief and clarity. I have used it time and time again in moments when I have felt overwhelmed and uncertain.

                  Here are the three steps I take.

                  Forget about the ultimate outcome. The truth is that I probably have less control over the outcome than I think. I can undoubtedly influence it, but I can’t control it. Besides, before I ever get to the final destination, many of the variables will change. Projects and deals have a way of unfolding over time. There will be problems—and resources—I can’t see now.
                  Instead, focus on the next right action. Since worrying about the outcome is unproductive, I try to think about the next actions that will move the project forward. This is far more accessible that something in the distant future. For example, as an author, I can worry about whether or not my book will become a bestseller or I can make sure that I am fully prepped for the interview I have scheduled today.
                  And do something now! This is key. Something is better than nothing. Too often, we think that we have to have clarity about how it will all turn out. In my experience, I rarely have this. But, as I move toward the destination, making course corrections as necessary, I experience clarity. Therefore, it is important to get off the sidelines and into the game.

                  So if you are in a situation where you feel overwhelmed and don’t know what course to take, just do the next right thing.


                  *The truth is that I probably have less control over the outcome than I think. I can undoubtedly influence it, but I can’t control it.*

                  So true!
                  Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                  Comment


                    2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                    Raven2012;1486452 wrote: Hi Slay

                    Just checking in. I really appreciate your encouragement thread. It helps.

                    Best to you,

                    Raven
                    Nice to see you, Raven.
                    Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                    Comment


                      2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                      Hi Slay,

                      So good to have you back, and thanks again for the great posts.
                      "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

                      Comment


                        2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                        April 3rd


                        Maybe life is all about being first after all!



                        Maybe life is all about being first after all! Not so fast. Being first is about consciousness, not competitiveness, i.e., ?as you sow, so shall you reap.? To be loved, you have to be willing to love first; to be cherished, you have to be willing to give respect first; to be heard, you have to be willing to listen first; and to experience forgiveness and freedom, you have to be willing to forgive first.

                        I honestly believe that the only way to get to happiness is to be happy already. Many people live their life according to the formula: Do + Have = Be. They cannot just be happy because first they have to do ?x,? and then they have to have ?y.? In other words, they have to have a house, they have to do more, they have to do even more, they have to have a partner, they have to have lots of money, etc. But why not just be happy?

                        In the healing process, people often convince themselves that they have to get well before they can choose happiness again. In my work I encourage my clients to honor their pain and choose peace, to feel fear and choose love, to face the anger and choose forgiveness, to experience the heartbreak and choose happiness, and to experience guilt and choose innocence.

                        Gandhi once said you have to be the change you want. Why? Because the mirror cannot change without you. And the world is only a mirror. Remember, you see only your thoughts. When you shift, shift happens. If you don?t, you simply experience more of the same. It is no good saying, ?I?ll be open with you, as soon as you are open with me.? Be first. Be different if you want a different outcome. Be the goal.

                        What ?to be? decisions will you make today? Think of your goals, your challenges, your relationships, and ask yourself, ?Is how I am being going to bring me what I really want?? Be still a moment and reset your intention to be loving no matter what, to be kind in spite of everything, to shine your light come what may. Your ?to be? decisions are between you and God. Let nothing steal them away.

                        ~author unknown
                        AF 6 years
                        NF 7 years

                        A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

                        Comment


                          2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                          FallenAngel;1487220 wrote:
                          Maybe life is all about being first after all!


                          In the healing process, people often convince themselves that they have to get well before they can choose happiness again. In my work I encourage my clients to honor their pain and choose peace, to feel fear and choose love, to face the anger and choose forgiveness, to experience the heartbreak and choose happiness, and to experience guilt and choose innocence....

                          Be first. Be different if you want a different outcome. Be the goal....

                          What ?to be? decisions will you make today? Think of your goals, your challenges, your relationships, and ask yourself, ?Is how I am being going to bring me what I really want?? Be still a moment and reset your intention to be loving no matter what, to be kind in spite of everything, to shine your light come what may. Your ?to be? decisions are between you and God. Let nothing steal them away.
                          I feel like I am waiting for something --- maybe to become the "good" person I thought I was before I let my life get hijacked. This makes me think I have to be more active in the process --- to make choices. After all, what am I waiting for? A certain amount of time to pass? Someone to tell me I've done a good job??

                          Thanks for the post, FA - you gave me more things to think about!

                          Comment


                            2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                            thanks for today's post Fallen Angel. My goal for today is to just "be." Not necessarily happy, brave, forgiving or productive -- to take minutes every couple of hours and just be. Right now, my dog is my example--just content with his lot.
                            Free at Last
                            "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                            Highly recommend this video
                            http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                            July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                            Comment


                              2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                              NoSugar;1487229 wrote: I feel like I am waiting for something --- maybe to become the "good" person I thought I was before I let my life get hijacked. This makes me think I have to be more active in the process --- to make choices. After all, what am I waiting for? A certain amount of time to pass? Someone to tell me I've done a good job??I think we have all felt like that... waiting until we think the time is right to take action. But in fact, NOW is the only time.. so that must mean it is also the "right" time. Carpe Diem everybody!

                              free at last;1487288 wrote:
                              thanks for today's post Fallen Angel. My goal for today is to just "be." Not necessarily happy, brave, forgiving or productive -- to take minutes every couple of hours and just be. Right now, my dog is my example--just content with his lot.
                              Ahhh, we can learn so much from our pets

                              Just watching an animal closely
                              can take you out of your mind and bring you into the present moment,
                              which is where the animal lives all the time--
                              surrendered to life.
                              ~Eckhardt Tolle
                              AF 6 years
                              NF 7 years

                              A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

                              Comment


                                2013 Daily Encouragement Thread

                                March 6th





                                I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE IS only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it?s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

                                Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it?s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let?s begin to love ourselves now.


                                Here are 12 Commandments
                                to help you learn how
                                to love yourself:


                                Stop All Criticism.
                                Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

                                Forgive Yourself.
                                Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

                                Don?t Scare Yourself
                                Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

                                Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.
                                Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

                                Be Kind to Your Mind.
                                Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

                                Praise Yourself.
                                Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

                                Support Yourself.

                                Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

                                Be Loving to Your Negatives.

                                Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

                                Take Care of Your Body.

                                Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

                                Do Mirror Work.

                                Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, "I love you, I really love you!"

                                Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

                                Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now?and do the best you can.

                                Have Fun.

                                Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

                                ~Louise L. Hay
                                AF 6 years
                                NF 7 years

                                A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step

                                Comment

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