Never done this before

[Ooskae]

Hi,I'm new to this,I did this for reasons I don't fully understand myself,join the site I mean,I'm near 25 and am full of so much anger and am totally selfish,I don't know why,I push people away until they leave,I have little empathy left and near no sympathy,my girlfriend has finished with me after a year of trying so hard to help me through my nervous breakdown I suffered last year,was prescribed Prozac but didn't take it and reverted back to my old ways,when I go out I drink heavily spend too much money and act over the top like everyone is my friend,but it's all pleasure no happiness.My girlfriend finishing with me has rocked my foundation and I've began to self harm,I have suicidal thoughts but I'm too cowardly to see them through I feel,maybe the courage is in living but I don't feel that way,Im so tired all the time,I just want the hot fog away from behind my eyes,I feel like a spectator in my own life,sorry.

[RunningCourage]

Never done this before

Hey, Ooskae. We're here for you. Start posting, start reading - there's links below for a couple of excellent threads. Ask the questions, and don't apologise. We all started in some miserable, shite, god forsaken hell holes to end up thinking "screw this" and posting here.

Go easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You want to get sober, right? You want to get stronger right? You want to be able to deal with shit without drink or drugs fogging up the reality of what's going on? Cool. Then baby steps.

Read, post, ask questions. One moment at a time.

RC

Newbies Nest

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[Ooskae]

Never done this before

Thank you

[almost free]

Never done this before

Hey, Ooskae, Welcome! You've come to the right place. You will find lots of friends and lots of help and encouragement here. I spent hours, just reading and reading, getting to know people, when I first found MWO. There are people here from all over the world, sharing what is working for them and being there for those who are struggling.

Join us over in the Newbie's Nest. There is also a Newbie's Nest Roll Call, if you want to join. People checking in every day. There are at least five others who just started or are starting over, so you are definitely not alone.

Focus on treating yourself well. Drink lots of water, preferably with fresh lemon juice squeezed in, eat some nutritious food. Take care of yourself and treat yourself like you would a sick, hurting child. That means not beating yourself up. Things will work themselves out, just be patient and don't give up hope.

Post and let us get to know you and how you are doing. We are here for you.

So glad you are here!