I am on day two of my tapering process and am hoping some of you can help me make sure I do it right. Also, by posting I am holding myself accountable to all of you and hopefully my story will help others the same way all of your stories are helping me.
First off, some history. I have been an evening drinker, occasional day drinker (especially on weekends) for my entire adult life. I have always seemed to metabolize alcohol well and I was a very functional alcoholic and quite successful business wise. I cannot remember a single day over the past many years that I did not consume at least a few bottles of beer, glasses of wine, or some sort of liquor. Even if I didn't drink all day, I would always consume a couple of glasses of wine and probably a glass of scotch so I could get to sleep. But for the most part, my average consumption has always been 8-12 units a day - mostly beer (probably 6-8 bottles), and a couple of glasses (or a bottle some days) of wine, mixed in with a gin and tonic or two or a scotch and soda or two.
Over the past few months though I have been pretty stressed out, and I have been drinking quite a bit heavier - averaging closer to 14-16 units a day, still mostly beer, but still mixing in the wine and liquor, starting earlier in the day, 2-3 times a week starting with a bloody mary or screwdriver first thing in the morning. My "refreshing" drink on my drinking days was a weak scotch and soda - I'd put about an ounce of scotch into a large (24oz) tumbler and fill it with club soda. But even though it was a weak drink, every drink I consumed on some of these days contained alcohol.
I have never gotten into a drinking related accident, never a DUI, I don't believe it has ever affected my work or social life (although it probably has to some extent - I feel that once I am completely sober if I was able to do well when I was drinking that much, watch out for what I am going to be able to accomplish sober!). But here's the wake up call...
I didn't really notice it much at first, but now that I look back, starting around the second week of December (about 3 weeks ago), I started feeling fatigued at different times of the day and I was crankier... Not every day, but just overall not feeling as well. Of course, I had been drinking heavy for a few months leading up to this time. I kept up the drinking, but by the last week (between Christmas and New Years) I was getting severe fatigue and decided not to go to several parties, including major celebrations for New Years - I stayed home, had several drinks and went to bed around 10pm. I got up around 3am, had a few more drinks and went back to bed and slept until 8am and got up and had a bloody mary...
It was about this point that I realized that something must be wrong with me... Why was I feeling tired all the time? I started looking stuff up online and my symptoms were similar to alcoholic liver disease. Then I remembered that I had gotten a physical about 8 months ago and the blood tests had shown slightly high results on the liver function tests and the doctor had pushed on my liver and said it was a little soft and I should reduce my alcohol intake... So my liver isn't exactly hurting, but I pushed on it and it is definitely enlarged, somewhat soft and now I realize that there is pressure in the general area especially when I am sitting down and lean forward.
I started reading up on alcoholic liver disease and it frankly scared the pants off me. If I am having liver issues and keep drinking the was I was, especially with starting to have symptoms that something was wrong, I am going to end up dead.
There is no question that my body was telling me something. I really hope that it is nothing more than the first stage - fatty liver. Once it goes on to alcoholic hepatitis things can start getting bad quickly, but I don't seem to have any of the more severe symptoms such as fever, throwing up blood, off colored bowel movements or urine, etc. But no matter what the stage it is at, the #1 treatment for all of them is to quit drinking.
My plan at this point is to taper off over the next 5-6 days to complete abstinence and then wait a week to 10 days to go see a doctor and get blood tests run. From what I have read, cutting back and then not drinking for even as little as a couple of weeks can make an amazing change to your liver that will show in the liver function tests. (*** CAN ANYONE COMMENT ON THIS PLEASE ***) I feel like if I went right now and got the tests that they would be off the charts due to the amount I had been drinking and how long I had been drinking and the doctor may insist on a liver biopsy, which I would prefer to avoid if necessary. If I taper for 5-6 days and then quit for 7-10 days should my liver function be fairly close to back to normal, or only show slightly elevated? Does anyone have any experience with this?
Also, on tapering... Since I guessed my baseline alcohol intake was around 14 units a day (if not a couple more), I decided to use the HAMS taper recommendation of taking off two a day, so my schedule would look like this:
Jan 2nd - 12 units
3rd - 10 units
4th - 8 units
5th - 6 units
6th - 4 units
7th - 2 units
8th - 0 units...
Well, my biggest concern about withdrawl is not being able to sleep - I have always gone to bed with a decent buzz, if not completely drunk. I have always had problems going to sleep as my mind seems to race, even as a kid (long before I ever had a drink). So I became dependent on alcohol to get to sleep. After reading all the withdrawl stories I also have concerns about how my body is going to react to quitting after drinking for over 20 years.
So yesterday (day one) - I hope I didn't screw this up, but I only had 4.5 units. I had a beer in the mid morning, then tea and sodas until 4pm, had another beer which I drank slowly (took over an hour to finish), then a large glass of water, a glass of wine before dinner, a glass of wine after dinner, and then a glass of wine before bed, which I left half of it siting on the nightstand and threw it out this morning.
Today is day two - it is almost 2pm my time and I have yet to have a drink today - I feel pretty good, the pressure from my liver seems a little less today (and the liver pressure is something that I am hyperaware of right now - it doesn't hurt and I'd guess if I weren't concerned about it I probably wouldn't even notice it).
So here is my main question - since everyone says that days 2 and 3 are the worst for withdrawl symptoms, did I screw up already by dropping to 4.5 units too fast? Should I alter my entire taper schedule based on the fact that I only had 4.5 units yesterday? Am I more likely to have issues sleeping tonight or other problems?
I had been kind of planning on saving my drinks for mostly before bedtime to help get to sleep, but is this really a good idea? If I am tapering, should I be drinking the drinks throughout the day, even if I usually drank mostly at night?
As far as a report on day one, I went to bed soberer than I have in as long as I can remember and I did have trouble going to sleep. I read for around 2 hours and then was tired enough to try to go to sleep, so I turned off the light and tried. I must have dozed off and then woken up suddenly due to some noise or perceived noise at least 6-8 times before actually falling into a deeper sleep. It wasn't terrible, but it was similar in nature to what others have talked about in their posts. It is obviously a sign that my brain is having to figure out how to cope with not having as much alcohol in my system when I go to bed...
So, there is my story... I will keep posting on my progress. This is the first time I have ever tried to quit, and maybe I am being naive, but I really don't think I am going to have a problem quitting, simply because I actually want to quit and let my body recover and live a healthier lifestyle... But we'll see.
If anyone can answer some of my questions above all comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks - R4T
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