Time to say hello

[sweetpea29]

Hi to all :

This is nerve wrecking but it's time for me to come out of the shadows and say hello and thankyou for being there.

I first found this site near 3 years ago in despair after experiencing panic attacks linked to alcohol abuse. At that time, I lurked and read and learned so much and managed about 5 months sober, I didnt have the guts to actually register and participate.

That time I had AF was my happiest in a long time, however, I let my guard down started sipping again and ended back at square one. Deep down I knew where I could get help but fear held me back.

Eventually, after yet another bad session, I joined site and began lurking and lurking some more! For this i feel guilty, that I am gaining insight and strength from many of ye wise folk, Lav, Mario, Molly, JC, Chill, the 2 RCs, K9, Kuya and so many more. THANK YOU x
It has taken so long to build up the courage to post but this time i need to be more accountable and proactive in beating this bloody beast.

Me?
Im 34, full-time nurse, mortgage and car, no husband or dependants, loving Father and brothers, great friends, not a bad person but have major drink problem and I dont like myself very much. Drink is killing me in every way. I want to live a happy and fulfilled life and learn to maybe like myself someday. I cant do that and drink.

Thanks to you all I am now day 7 AF

[K9Lover]

Time to say hello

Hi Sweetpea and an official welcome...even though you've been lurking! :welcome:

I'm glad you stepped out of the shadows and let us meet you! A HUGE congratulations on day 7...in my opinion you are through the worst of it physically, now comes the mental part. Do you have a plan in place for when the stinkin' alcohol Beast taps you on the shoulder and whispers that "you aren't that bad...a few won't hurt"?? Because he will, and you have to be prepared. A good defense against him is to come log on here and share with us. Check out the Newbies Nest.

I could have written your one sentence "Drink is killing me in every way". Yep...I was there. I hated myself for it...but don't despair. The fog will lift and you can get through this, and we can help.

Again, welcome and I look forward to getting to know you!!!

K9

[Miss Behaving]

Time to say hello

Welcome Sweetpea, and congrats on your 7 days. That means you must have made it through New Years okay.

It's great that you posted - as you will know from your lurking there are so many good people (like yourself!) on this site, and coming here every day is an essential part of my everyday routine in keeping myself AF.

Look forward to seeing more of you!

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

Ah thanks for welcome K9,
My big danger area will be when i next go grocery shopping, I need to have a plan of action that involves keeping away from the wine aisle. Im working on visualising all the negatives that came with my wine drinking. The extra weight, shakes, no confidence, fear of being found-out, general self-hatred and so on. My drinking has led me to withdraw from many positve things like exercise and socialising with friends and I want to change that.
Well done to you on the smoking front btw ; ) Ive found my cigarrette intake has gone up big style past few days which i detest also but dont feel strong enough to fight 2 demons at once.
Thanks again for your reply, I was very anxious to post but am glad Ive made that step xo

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

Thanks Missy!
I had a reply to your post but I got logged out. New Years wasn't too hard as I was working early shift. Dont wanna be landing in with smell of booze on me.
I would usually begin my binge on my last day of work knowing that I would be off for few days. Of course that meant that my days off were totally wasted and i would neglect to see friends/family, exercise etc.. End up back at work more wrecked than ever!
My first day off was today and Ive avoided going near the supermarket and have sat all day trying to build up the courage to post here. I want to do this

[moni]

Time to say hello

Welcome Sweetpea and so glad you decided to get involved.

Like you my biggest fear in the beginning was going grocery shopping so the first week AF, I got my shopping delivered. Not sure if they do that where you live. I just ordered online and for 4 euro extra they deliver it. Was well worth it and meant I could change my evening routine also. I'm 50 days AF today and my life is very different already.

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

Thankyou Moni and big congrats on your 50 days : )

Im up 'the North' as ye might say so yeah I think I could get delivery but Im a bit dangerous in tesco at best of time! Go in for milk and bread come out with new clothes, books, trees wotever they bloody have on offer! Im thinking just stick to local spar/centra which dont sell wine til I get more AF time. Thanks for the welcome and your suggestions tho.

[K9Lover]

Time to say hello

Sweetpea (that's my favorite fragrance, by the way)

I wouldn't rush to quit smoking...I have been sober 373 days but only cig free for 3 days...so you can see that I didn't exactly slay both beasts at once. This is my third REAL attempt to quit smoking...hopefully 3rd time is a charm.

Next time you're in the wine aisle (actually, there's NO reason to be in the wine aisle now is there? ) imagine that first sip of wine...so refreshing, isn't it? NOW...fast forward a few hours to the TRUTH...waking up at 3am overcome with anxiety because you can't remember what you did the night before. Did you heat up some food and leave the oven on? Or my personal favorite...light candles and forget to blow them out? Did you text or call someone and can't remember the conversation? Because you can't remember, your heart races and you sweat uncontrollably. That's what alcohol does to you. When you can see the truth of it, it will be MUCH easier to flip off the wine aisle!

Stay close to us!

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

K9,
No i wont be rushing to quit the smokes just yet, Im tired and grumpy enough at the mo! It is so good to have the like of you to look-up to so to speak and try follow your footsteps. 3 days smoke free is amazing in my book, wish i could do 3 hours! Third time lucky indeed. Congrats too on 373 AF days thats brilliant.
Yes, the forgotten phone conversations, the lazy excuses to avoid doing something meaningful the next day, the stripping of self-esteem, thats what drink does to me. No more hopefully

[RunningCourage]

Time to say hello

Hey Sweetpea - welcome :welcome:

I would say you've arrived at a great place - but it seems you've really been here awhiley already! But it is great that you've finally taken to posting - it does make it so much easier when battling this to have peeps to speak to, seek and gain so much support from.

Look forward to getting to know you

RC

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

RC and Molly, thankyou for the welcome )

I keep getting timed out so this post has taken forever! First post was maybe not too clear. I havent been lurking past 3yrs!
When first panic attack happened was terrified and needed to do smthing. Between the fear and reading here managed 5 mnths AF. Got lax and forgot the horrors and started having odd wee glass, stopped reading here, thought i had control. Big mistake (

Fast forward nov 2012, drink had control of me, accepted this and googled MWO, wondering if it still existed! Lo and behold it sure did and many of the same folk from before still here! It was really comforting to see the like of Lav, Mario, K9, Molly, JC and many more still here still sober.
I decided to join, and again started reading but took me til today to get courage to post.

Nice to meet you both, it'll prob be the morning before i actually manage to get this post sent!

[Lavande]

Time to say hello

Hello & welcome sweetpea!

So glad you decided to join us, we're a pretty nice bunch

CONGRATS on your 7 AF days, that's terrific!
Are you planning on remaining AF? I know you are young & may have thoughts on moderation at some point. I found MWO at the ripe old age of 55. My drinking career lasted about 10 years & that was more than enough for me!

I found myself smoking at an alarming rate when I stopped drinking so I joined Quit Smoking All Together: the Web's Largest Quit Smoking Community & received support there as well.

When you log in, check the box to keep yourself logged in - it helps.
I wish you the best on your journey, feel free to drop me a PM if I can help with anything

Lav

[sweetpea29]

Time to say hello

Oh my its Lav )

Tis an honour to 'meet' you. You seem so wise and together.
Yes i wish to remain AF forever although thats a wee bit daunting at present to think of. Know i'll have to work hard to remain AF but willing to give it a shot. Had first drink aged 15, but problem drinking prob began when i was mid twenties. Kinda knew deep down it wasnt normal but stuck my head in the sand. Have to deal with it now tho before wasting anymore of my life.

Thanks for the quit smoking link, will look at it sometime when feeling stronger ;
Where's this box i need to tick btw?

Heading to bed now so relieved Ive taken this first step )
Thankyou Lav and everyone else xo

[Ready4This]

Time to say hello

Hi There! Congrats. I am very new here as well and I am still in the tapering stage, but finishing day two well ahead of schedule.

I smoke as well and want to quit that at some point as well, but I agree with the others... Slay one beast at a time. Besides, I figure once I start feeling better from being AF it will give me a lot of motivation to quit smoking as well and it will be much easier. So many people I have known that quit smoking and still drink restart smoking on a good drinking night - decide to have one after their fourth beer and end up finishing a pack by the time the night is through - and they are hooked right back again. Alcohol is what dropped their motivation to stay smoke free. It is easy to believe that "oh, I can just have a couple cigarettes tonight" when you have drunk six beers...

Once AF for a period of time I plan on quitting cigarettes as well, and being AF should make it that much easier to maintain my willpower to quit smoking.

All the best to you!

[Lavande]

Time to say hello

Right where you enter your name & PW there's a box that says: remember me
Just check that box & you should be able to stay on without a problem.

No pressure -
when you are ready, jump into the Monthly Abstinence threads for more support. You will finds lots of folks there serious about remaining AF