I decided...

[decided]

I decided...

Hi Merry still up watching movies here lol! You guys have me wishing I had a bottle in my kitchen too! Lol but ill settle for walking to and away from the beer fridge everyday when I buy smokes. Lol Congrads on day 6!!! Mind sharing what you do to handle the first week?

[NewOne]

I decided...

Al free for about over a month I think. I try not to focus on time because that is futuristic which of course, brings on the anxiety

Just like the alcohol cravings, it is nothing but thought.

None of that silly shit we sit around & tell ourselves happens anyway. The only thing that "happens" is our anxiety goes thru the roof. Then we reach for the alcohol to calm it down. To drown out that voice in our head that is constantly telling us that The Universe is out to get us.

It is a program that has not fully come to our awareness so therefore it runs in the background. Just like programs on a computer. It runs on auto pilot.

The way to strip it of it's power is just to recognize it. Recognize the thoughts, the visions.

decided;1438864 wrote: Wow! That's intense...how long have you been AL? Your right about the axiety, that's exactly what it is. I think that serenity payer is making sense now...I can decided weather I drink or not, weather I apply myself to my projects, progress through life and grow-but some things I have to accept are beyond my control. I guess that's the only realy way to minimize that feeling of dread. And the exagerated thought process that goes with it.

[decided]

I decided...

Morning Neo, woke up this morning feeling a bit off and your right, the time shouldn't matter as much as the fact that I just don't do it anymore and that I don't want to anymore. Don't want to poison my body and my mind. Don't want to loose another day week month or year being "wasted" lol that word just took on a whole new meaning..."Wasted" lol! I get it now.

[paulywogg]

I decided...

good job decided!

[Ready4This]

I decided...

My wife (very supportive!!!) and I have been talking a lot over the past few days about all the things we HAVEN'T been doing because of drinking.

Tennis, bike riding, going to the park and just throwing a frisbee or just hanging out... I have my private pilots license and haven't flown in years because I didn't want to do it with either a hangover or while drinking, and my life was always in one of those two states. I live to fly, but drinking wouldn't allow it. I bought a kiteboard (I live on the ocean) and want to learn how to kiteboard, but again, that can be a dangerous sport and I have always chosen drinking over going and learning how to kiteboard.

Drinking was not only making me feel like crap every day, but it was WHAT I did rather than going and doing all kinds of fun stuff I COULD have been doing.

I have seen people ask what people do to make it through the first week or so. This is an easy answer for me. Think about all the stuff that drinking has kept you from doing and go do it, or make plans to go do it.

Whether its learning how to fly an airplane, or just spending a relaxing evening playing games with your spouse or kids... Drinking has been interfering with tons of fun and good things that you could have been doing. Figure out what those things are and reward yourself!

I'd bet most of you have been spending $10 or more a day on alcohol. Believe it or not, that's enough to pay for flight instruction - you could use that money to go and become a pilot if you wanted. Or save up and take a trip.

As for me, I'm going bike riding this afternoon if I can't find anyone to play tennis with (most of my friends are hungover) and tomorrow I am going to call and try to set up a kiteboarding lesson later in the week. This isn't just for motivation, it is a stark realization that by choosing drinking I was missing out on tons of fun stuff that I could have been doing.

Keep up the great work everyone!

Cheers,
R4T

[merry]

I decided...

Decided.....I have st johns wart in liquid form to calm the nerves ( liquid gets into the system quicker )
I also take muti vitamins, with calcium and mag and a vit b for nerves
I try and avoid sitting around where others are drinking ......go and put on a video.....and because my sleeping pattern isn't too good I'm up watching most of the night and doze off in front of the tv .....If I go to bed I toss and turn and keep hubby awake so I find it better to spend most of the night on the lounge and when able go to bed early hrs of the morning so as not to disturb him.
I find my head is a lot clearer but I still haven't got back my energy as yet or motivation.
But Like ready4this think about what I will be doing and what I want to do that I haven't been able to because it was easy to pick up the glass of wine till you fell asleep. and it's true we do put off a lot of things because of the alcohol and really waste our lives.
I might put the $10.00 @ week in a jar and save for a holiday with the savings I will have from not drinking
I'm now on day 7 .....The heat wave we are experiencing at the moment is not helping as it would be so easy to get a coldie in the arvo but 1 drink is 1 took many....some one once said think of wine as urine....which I have done also.
I also watched the video how to stop in 6 mins ( which I found interesting some one has it on this site ...hindman I think but not sure )

[merry]

I decided...

hope that helps

[decided]

I decided...

Hi Pauly thank you!

Hey Ready!

That's some great advice! I've been looking around the site and saw a post about peoples plans...so I'm writing out a to do list , a basic grocery list(so I always have what I need) and a list of both short and long term goals.

Your right in 2 minutes I have so much on the list. My hand couldn't seem to keep up, and as I'm typing this now, I'm thinking of others. I'm so pissed that I intentionally spent all that time in a coma but they say revenge in its greate form is sucsess.

Told my mom today...she can usually be a big trigger for me so I was worried but figured I should tell her so she doesent catch me off guard. I was plesantly surpreized that she did have a tint of skeptisism in her voice...and by telling her, it was the first time I told her I have a drinking problem ( she knew we just don't talk about it) she was. Very happy and supportive! We are lucky to have people like your wife and my mom.

Starting tomorrow I'm leaving the house to spend the day doing something I was too drunk or hungover to do and tonight...I'm going to flip off the booze at the corner store again when I buy my smokes thanks for reminding me why I was so excited about this. I think I'm going to make a routine of thinking about that fact every morning and every night.

First part of my new routine and habits complete!

[decided]

I decided...

Merrrrry!!!! Lol thanks for responding, I'm in such a good mood right now...my enrves cleared up this morning after I took my. Vit c and d and b. Ill keep the st jhons in mind, I tried melatonon last night it was ok I slept, 5 maybe 6 hours? I too have crazy insomnia. Anothing think I will be doing when this passes...sleep! Lol. Seems like you were an evening drinker too huh? What amazes me is that I'd get u and live the day with few slip ups...and when I sliped up, it just seemed like I had a rough night once in a while. People wouldn't believe me if I told them, or they would think I was exagerating.

I like the idea of putting the money into a jar! I'm up to 30. Bux so far and you have 70! The urine thing too I can see working...mold actually isint that far from the truth...I've been using poison.so what's your plan for this heat wave?

[Ready4This]

I decided...

Awesome Decided!!! You'll have to tell me what you end up doing tomorrow! I just got back from my bike ride with my wife and we did some exploring and we found some really cool stuff, don't have time to talk about it right now, but remind me and I'll tell you about it later. Have to get ready to go out to dinner with friends - another AF first but not worried in the least.

Let's get through this AF stuff for a while and if the timing suits both of us at some time in the future (at least 30 days out for me) maybe we can work on quitting smoking together. :-)

Have a great AF night!
R4T

[decided]

I decided...

@Ready Dinner with friends! That's exciting I'm not the least bit worried for you, but I can't wait to have my first also! I love the quit smoking idea! I've been thinking about it since day 1 of AF! Lol after having ready that I'm not too excited about going to buy my smokes anymore...but don't want to get caught tomorrow and throw myself off, so worst case I have them but won't need them. Funy thoughj, I think my smoking has gone down as a result of not lighting one from the other while boozing...ill let you know how my activities go tomorrow! I'm looking forward to making a plan and sticking to it!

[NewOne]

I decided...

I may be ready in 30 days to do the smoke out with you guys. I know it is in my future, just not sure where & when. It may take 30 days just to internalize the idea.

I have always been a slave to my addictions & have come to realize that complete freedom is a bit scary. With it comes thoughts, feelings, conscious action, & most of all....responsibility for those thoughts, feelings & actions.

Scary scary stuff.

[decided]

I decided...

Hi Neo that would be great! Just think of the process of quiting AL it was scary as hell but once you did it it was done and you realized its possible. I too am worried sometimes that I won't learn how to cope by myself. I just keep my awairenss sharp and takle the bumps one at a time its kinda like playing dodgeball where the stake is your future...your life.

[decided]

I decided...

I took Ready's advice and went out today, got my nails done and went to the gym. Its the first day out of the house AF and I identified a trigger...night fall. Both yesterday and today I noticed that I get excited when I see its dark out. Yesterday my mind said " time to go to the store" and I almost just got up and went (auto pilot) today at the gym I juist kept thinking beer beer beer with thoughts of going to the store and phisicaly it was like I was fighting the auto pilot to get up! Lol it only lasted about a minute but it was literaly like fighting with myself. I just got back on the treadmill for 10minutes and I was fine again.

All in all a good day going back to the gym tomorrow as right now I'm so tired the last thing I can think about is drinking! And that's just fiiine by me, in fact I keep thinking about how much healthier I am free to be now! I can actually set fitness goals for myself. Get the satisfaction of acheiving them. I'd say that's a pretty good trade off.

As for the highlight of my day:

Before leaving the gym, a guy asked me to go for a drink...for the first time I could say
" I DON'T DRINK" . It was akward but I just guzzed my water.
He asked "why?"
I told him the truth "I use too, then I realized that I don't need to poison myself anymore"
He said "yes but one drink isint going to poison you."
That's where he could have had me but I think I got him instead,
I said "do you like the taste of alchohol?"
"No"
"Well neither do I. So what's the point of having one or even 2 drinks? If I don't like the tast of alcohol why order a cranberry with vodka when I can just order a craberry?"
He couldn't really argue that so he said" I don't drink much just when I'm out with friends playing drinking games or partying"
So I said " exactly! If I'm going to drink, I'm going to driiink, and I have a very high tolerance , like I said, I don't see the point in poisoning myself anymore".

He agreed I went home with no desire to drink again tonighth)

Just thought I'd share that as it could not have come at a better time!

Anyone else have a story to share?

[Ready4This]

I decided...

Congrats on a great day Decided! I have been feeling so good I have to make sure I don't fall into the trap of "just one won't hurt me!"... But so far so good. I wouldn't want to trade the way I am feeling for drinking again... So AF for me. :-). Busy today not much time to post. But I'll keep checking in!

Salud!