I decided...

[decided]

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for being so open about your experiances...I made decision yesterday, and at 1030am tomorrow, il will start day 3 of my life.

For the last 8 years I've been consuming about a 40oz of 6.5 to 10.1 percent beer sometimes 2 every night in secret. After watching the movie flight yesterday I decided I didn't want to do it anymore and made a concious decision to take action for the first time ( usually, if I don't drink its because I have no money or the store is closed).

I spent the afternoon watching a marathon of addiction and recovery movies and reading about detoxing recovery and other peoples experiances that all seem to be just like my own...lol

Lastnight I went to the store as I always do and insteady of buying beer I just got my smokes, a bottle of water and a popsicle and went home. I had spent the day checking out what to expect as as expected I slect 3 hours with crazy dreams and sweat my ass off.

Today I I didn't know how I would feel as I usually don't do more than a night but I think because it was a choice, I feel great! Tired a bit of a headach but great. I went to the pharmacy to get my melatonin and the groceries I need to support the detox process instead of the beer I would have gotten.

Somehow because I don't feel like I'm missing anything but maybe that too is because I decided not to drink and I can decide to drink as well. Its really up to me.

I know it gets harder before it gets better so I'm trying to stay ahead of myself so to speak. But I'm excited. I'm excited for the chance to reach my potential, to be happy, to be proud, healthy and free.

So many times I've said I would do it,thought about it and tried but something about this time just feels diFrent. I'm not scared or worried. I decided.

Thanks again, and I'm sure I will be turning to this forum for support so please don't stop!

[NewOne]

I decided...

I started where you did. I decided. I think it makes all the difference in the world. Many times before I had moaned & groaned about wanting to quit . I "tried" to quit. I did everything possible to keep from making that ONE decision. But when I did...I was done.

And yeah, it does feel different.

You sound strong. Oh yeah..we be Deciders ;-P

[Lavande]

I decided...

Hello & welcome decided!

You have made a great decision to take back control of your life & kick AL out
You have a great start, congrats!
Have you read the MWO book yet? You can download it from the Health store here on the site. It has a lot of useful information.

Wishing you continued success on your journey.
Drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoing support

Lav

[Kradle123]

I decided...

Hi Decided and :welcome:

Good on you for having a plan! When I started I had zero plan and fell right away!

Keep us posted on the Melatonin, will you? I dont really have trouble sleeping but i wake up once or twice a night and would love something that just let me go thru the whole night...of course I do have three young kids which might have something to do with the once or twice.:H

Stay close. :l

[Ready4This]

I decided...

First Off - congrats I Decided!!! Keep it up and drink lots of water (it makes things come out easier! Lol)

I am sort of one day ahead of you so if you have any questions I am glad to help in any way I can. I say sort of ahead since I was tapering, but I totally beat my taper schedule. I was drinking a lot more than you and it sounds like we have similar symptoms and are similarly determined. I had planned on tapering another few days, but didn't drink today and I feel great.

Kradle - on the natural sleeping aids. I will occasionally take a pill called "sleep" from a company I can't think of right now but I'll get you the name if you want it. Like Nature something... But I have two issues with it. One, if I take it it seems to help me go to sleep, but I seem to wake up a lot earlier than I planned on nights when I take it. I zonk out but then am wide awake at 4am. The second problem is that it seems to have a dwindling effect. Two nights in a row it loses a little of the help in going to sleep. Four nights in a row and it has no effect on me.

I have had lots of trouble getting to sleep since starting this process, but I haven't taken it because I was saving it for "when things get really bad"... I may take one tonight since tonight is truly my first totally AF day and I'm kind of excited that I did it. :-)

The pill is the usual mix of 3-4 natural sleep aids including melatonin etc...

[pixie]

I decided...

Hi decided and welcome! You sound like you are on the right track. Attitude is everything - most of the struggle happens right between your ears.

I've found that reading other people's stories and advice on this site on a regular basis helps keep the AL thoughts in check. You will likely waver in your conviction, everyone does, so stay close and keep posting.

[decided]

I decided...

Hi Neo! Thanks for reinforcing my process and the compliment (I hope this will prove that I'm stronger than I thought)

How did you find the detox phase or first 2 weeks? I'm all stocked up on heathy food, and water lol! And thank goodness because that's all I've been doing since I came in is munch on brocoli and berries... any Ideas of how to spend a saturday night? I'm running out of addiction/ recovery movies.

Hi Lav!
I'm tired, my head hurts...I think I can actually feel the blood in my veins!!! BUT I'm smiling I have not checked out the book but put a note in my phone to call a councelor for guidance on long term sobriety for monday. ( They were closed when I decided so I started without them.) Lol

Thanks for the welcome Kra I make my own schedule so I'm not too worried about the insomnia but I figure the more quality sleep I get the faster the detox and recovery process. I've used it before but in conjunction with AL (I know *sigh) Lol One of the things I like about it is that you don't wake up feeling groggy! Let me give it a sober spin for you a couple times and illl let you know! ( I can tell you that you will have some interesting dreams though! Personally I like them, helps you look into your subconcious and makes you think a lot of the time)

[Kradle123]

I decided...

Thanks Ready!

Waking up early isn't too bad for me. I wake up around five anyway on weekdays and it's a challenge lately! :H

:l

[NewOne]

I decided...

what do you do on Saturday night? Anything you damn well please. As a non drinker the sky is the limit. Go dance in the middle of the street. It's not like they can get you for public intox ;-D

Alcohol/brain fog was the most trying for me. It took a good while to shake that off. Speaking of shakes...I had those.

[decided]

I decided...

He Ready! I was following your taper post and sent you a congrats a little while ago lol. Thanks for reminding me to take another swing! (of water with lemon no doubt). You make a good point with the sleep aids. Your suppose to avoid taking them everyday no matter how natural they are...I suggest rigurous exersise a coupple hours before bed. Like sprinting around the block, maxing out on pushups indoor swimming and a sauna usually does it for me! Epson salt baths with the right esencial oils is awesome as well. MSM is also a good detox aid! Let me know if you come up with anything you find helful and ill do the same I had no sleep aid and might wait until tomorrow tu use it because to be quite honest I think I'm to tireed to feel anxious! Lol try and ride it out like you said.

Hi Pixi, I know what you mean! I can hear the voice in my head trying to reason with me...but because I'm brainwashing myself with embarassingly intoxicated people in movies and reading about other people who really get what its like...I've been able to win the debates so far. Lol I've decided to jum in with both feet. I faced the booze bottles twice since I stoped yesterday on purpose...I don't ever want to be scared of waiking into the grocery store or the corner store. I Went down the isle and said no thank you! While thinking about how much time I've lost alone at home hiding...All of my 20's and some of my teens.

All that to say: thank you for letting me know I'm soooo far from alone in this. Ill stay close for sure!

I'm so glay to see that so mch positive energy can come out of such a challenging experience! Putting on my armour and waiting for my triggers one by one!

[decided]

I decided...

Lol!!! Good point Neo...what is this AL fog you speak of? Maybe I have it and don't know it yet. Lol I'm expecting the shakes once I leave the house for the gym on monday :S well see I guess. Did you have anxiety? I know that's how I got started drinking. Funny though in the end it just made it worse.

[NewOne]

I decided...

I actually kept a bottle of wine in my fridge for the first two weeks. On purpose. I faced down the fear pretty quickly. The first week just saying "I don't drink" sent huge waves of fear through me. I just kept at it until it lessened. I preferred controlled circumstances over being caught off guard.

[NewOne]

I decided...

Yeah, it was the al fog due to being drunk all of the time. The brain is not functioning at full speed Things are fuzzy. Thoughts are a bit warped.

I think I have always been an anxious person. I believe anxiety is just fear. Living mostly in a future of 'this could happen' what if's...stuff like that.

I don't know if I articulated that right.

decided;1438849 wrote: Lol!!! Good point Neo...what is this AL fog you speak of? Maybe I have it and don't know it yet. Lol I'm expecting the shakes once I leave the house for the gym on monday :S well see I guess. Did you have anxiety? I know that's how I got started drinking. Funny though in the end it just made it worse.

[decided]

I decided...

Wow! That's intense...how long have you been AL? Your right about the axiety, that's exactly what it is. I think that serenity payer is making sense now...I can decided weather I drink or not, weather I apply myself to my projects, progress through life and grow-but some things I have to accept are beyond my control. I guess that's the only realy way to minimize that feeling of dread. And the exagerated thought process that goes with it.

[merry]

I decided...

welcome decided
we can decide wether we do drink or not and like you I have decided enough is enough
day 6 for me
I also have wine in the cupboard but right up on the top shelf that I would have to get a chair to get it down.....