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[kuya]

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Awesome post....very funny and true.....there are NO good reasons to drink but MANY good reasons not to.

Well done you!

Keep on trucking.....that voices dies very quickly BTW. I haven't heard mine for weeks, except a tiny little squeak at around 6 PM when I am hungry, cos that was the signal to go by booze rather than just eat Doh!

[decided]

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Lol Kuya! Its so true that we often confuse hunger or thurst for wanting booze. The voice is definatly weaker for sure! It went from demanding to nagging to whining like a little...you get the idea. It sounds so pathetic now that its easy to shut it up

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Crap! I just realized its the 4th!!! Made. It throughb the first month. Next goal is 3 months

[NewOne]

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I think I am going on my 3rd month, or pretty close to it. Gooooooooo usssssssss...................

I feel like a non drinker.

Just checking in to say hullo. (insert cute smiling wavey emoticon here)

[decided]

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You are a non drinker Neo! Keep it up luv

[decided]

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Posting this as a reminder for future referance*

So I've been feeling great I can't lie, but I'd be lying if I said I don't sometimes feel low and have to remind myself exacly why I'm doing this again. Some days I feel like I'm going to cry from some unknown dispaire, or explode over an exagerated sesnse of indignance, at times I feel so antious I would fidgit out of my skin if I could.



The first 7 days were like I was high! And while I still have that unmatched sense of contentment Most of the time and the down times aren't a quarter as bad as the depression and anxiety instigated and egged on my AL- I still sometimes wondered why I still felt (from time to time) like I was moving backwards in my recovery.

I've even read several posts on another forum where people are so fed up they figure that's what being sober will always be like. ( I think I'm going to share this gem over there as well) good points that were made on that thread ( day 34 feels a lot like day 4) is that we have spent a loooong time frying our brains with booze and its a bit of an eye roller to expect everything to magicaly get better over night becasue "were ready now" lol.

Aaaaaanywho, all this to say: Time heals all wounds

I know some people find my optimism annoying or unrealistic, but like has proven to me that it is is what you make of it. This quit being a major shift I'm my outlook on life and experiances and subsiquently on thequality of my life and what I'm able to gain from those experiances . I want to heal. I want to be better, I want to acheive my full potencial and so I welcome every and ANY sign of healing or emprovement as a an exciting challenge with an amazing reward.

Its not always easy wich is why I see no point in making it any harder than it has to be. I argue almost every negative thought that passes through my mind with a positive one. it works wonders, and so while this the part of recovery I'm am dreading the most, I'm going to make the most of. This too.

if you keep in mind that the random downs are just a big part of the healing process you can actually find some satisfaction in it. Take the time to give your body what it needs to heal durring these down times, pamper yourself, laze around, use it as an excuse to slack just a bit and be selfish. What ever you can to help your brain to heal and rebalance when it sends you those signals. When they hit just remind yourself that your getting closer

Stay fucused on the healing that is happening and as crappy as it feels be happy about it! Make that Healing the focus of your thoughts and actions durring that time and remember that the only thing you can really do to "spead up the process" is to let it happen. Accept it, welcome it,support it, appreciate it for what it is. A pretty great thing.

( I know vitamin d, magnesium,b vitamin complex and fish oils are great for the brain/hormones/balance/healing/repair etc I notice a big diffrence when I don't take them!)

Orriginaly posted by Zenstyle

Pauly... what you experienced could very well be PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). They told us at rehab that we could unexpectedly start to suffer withdrawals at any given time. They even said 30,60,90 days etc. was a common time for it to start up (no clue why...)

Here's a brief explanation from an article...

Post-Acute Withdrawal (PAWS)

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.
The Symptoms of Post-Acute Withdrawal

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: Addictions and Recovery.org - Relapse Prevention and Coping Skills)
How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal

Be patient. You can't hurry recovery. But you can get through it one day at a time. If you resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through it, you will become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you will think of using to escape.

Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there.

Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.

Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery.

Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. But if you know what to expect you can do this.

Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse.

Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible. (Reference: Addictions and Recovery.org - Relapse Prevention and Coping Skills)

[decided]

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Loool!!! My posts keep getting looonger and looonger! So glad I have this place to come too. Its like a journal, but one I can share with those who may find a sentense here or there that speaks to them as so many have spoken to me both before and durring my quit LONG LIVE MWO! And to anyone reading this who is wanting to post or start a thead journal but is holdoing back...don't!!! In fact I dare you to ramble on for as long as I do about anything and everything randomly related to your drinking than I do. LOL! Putting it All out there...think of it as burning your bra, or going comando. Even if you don't quit ill bet you my last chocolat bar that you will feel so much better, and will be a step closer to fixing what you want to fix so make like NIKE and "JUST DOOOOO ITTTT !!!!". Hugs and kissed all around

[decided]

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It feels good to say I went out danicing last night as opposed to "I went out drinking" (wich I hadn't realized until now is not only exactly what I would do, but what I would call it). Got picked up by a bunch of intoxicated friends (eccept for the driver). I have to say that I was amused by there antics from the beginning and asked myself if I wanted to join them...I decided I'd rather watch the show than be part of it.

As the night progresses some got sloppy drunk ( you know what I mean) others started going on a downer where they clearly wernt enjoying themselved anymore ( but wouldn't put the beer down) some almost got there arses kicked and or kicked out, some were being rude without even realizing the people they were insulting and had to be watched like 5 year olds.

I myself had an amazing time I laughed harder than I have (sober) in a long time, I dance for the first time sober without feeling self concious, I actually noticed guys checking me out ( felt nice as I put some effort into my apearance) and I saw EVERYTHING!!! I think I've posted before about looking around and seeing actually processing the way the people around you are acting in clubs and bars...but because I was more prepared this time I felt like I saw so much more:

E people who clearly didn't know eachother, started off having shots with there friends at the bar, as the night progressed the guy got the courrage to chat up the girl, bought her some drinks and next thing you know they are making out at the bar...not too long after she is dragging him towards the bathroom only to emerge later and return to there respective groups. The girls were horrafied and gigling and the guys got louder and more abnoxious.

Usually polite and attractive guys were being so disrespectful sleezy towars women, and beautiful seemingly normal women who came in looking well put together were leaving unable to balance on their heels with smearled. Makeup and dumb expressions. Sometimes carying on in ways that made you embarrassed for them.

I hade to prevent one of my friend from getting pounded by a goup of guys after spilliong his drink one one of them and unconciosusly bumping another repeatedly while dancing like an idiot.( Causing him to spill his drink on the girl he was trying to pick up).

There was the guy who was too drunk to realize how un impressed I was with his attemts to seduce me despite my ignoring him, pushing him away, and giving him really and I mean really dirty looks. ironicly he was silultaniousdly waiting for more drinks. ( I s*it you not I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried)

My firnd asked me if I wanted a drink and I asked him for a soda and cran...I got a soda cran and vodka ( he didn't know I quit and just assumed I was drinking). The drink was garnished so I asked the bar tender before drinking it. I sat it on the counter, and it preoccupied me for a good 15 minutes as a part of me was saying "well, its already poured and payed for..." That's when I stoped myself and replaced it with a virgin version. ( It cost me a whole 2 dollars I left 2 for tip less than a 3ed of what an AL version would cost).

The more drunk people around me got, the better I felt about the situation, and before I knew it I was the only one who was in any condition to keep going! ( Asside from the driver) I ended up having more fun than all of them. ( I should add that I took a B vitmin before going incase I felt any social anxiety wich was one of the reasons I thought I drank...it was more of a sympton though it seems now).

Spoke to them all today and low and behold they alll feel like crap. I got a kudos for going AL from one of them, and another who had heard later than I didn't drink at all asked me a million questions and ended with " yah, I think I'm going to stop soon too...I can't keep doing this"

Since I've stoped and decided to be open about it, I've noticed people opening up about their own concerns over their drinking habits. And expressing a desire/ fear /"inability" to quit. I'm very greatul for this because it makes it easier to be proud of this new drink free me. And subsequently, be stronger when I'm just not in the mood to put in the effort.

Overcomming obstacles big or small make me feel good about myself and about my life and reinforce my abilities and strength. For me its key to my quit. That and force feeding myself sunshine ( especuially on rainy days)...so if I seem to have raimbows shooting out of my ars all the time. That's probably why.

[decided]

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I try to readi, post and or reaserch for a little bit every day to keep In touch with where I am, how I feel and to help myself get to the bottom of or at least better understand my problem(s) spend a lot of time thinking about how I got here, where I want to be and how to get there as smoothly as possible. Not much to report today but I did come across this article.

As usual sharing it here for myself if ever I need it and for anyone else who might find it of use. 1hen I quit I spent the first few days doing exersises like this on paper to occupy and retain my thinking. Now its more of an automatic response to my AL voice. Its a good way for me to get and stay positive about my quit.

Thinking about all the good that can come of this change keeps me moving in the right direction, and from my own experiance focusing on the negative does exactly the oposit. Easier said than done but all I know is that one way works far me and the other obviously hasent.

Any how here it is :

Many people delay or avoid alcoholism treatment for a couple of reasons:

You feel like you can?t succeed
You have some ambivalence about changing
If you are like the overwhelming majority of people who abuse alcohol, at least one of the above statements likely describes your situation. Read on then to answer a couple of questions that might change your thinking on your ability to change and complete a brief exercise to help you organize your thoughts on ambivalence about change.

Could You Stop Drinking If You Wanted To?
Maybe you think you can't stop. Maybe you?ve tried before, maybe on many occasions before, and you?ve never been able to quit for long. Maybe you?ve been drinking for so long that it?s just a part of who you are now and you wouldn?t know how to live anymore without the drinking?

Whatever the reasoning, a belief in the possibility of change is an important step towards taking action for change, but before you say it?s impossible, ask yourself the following question:

Could you stop drinking if you were going to be paid $1 million for a day or $10 million for a week or $50 million for a lifetime to do so, so long as you maintained complete abstinence?
If you answered yes then you know that quitting is possible, it may be very hard to accomplish, but it is not impossible.

Now make a list of the things you would have to do to succeed in quitting drinking for a day or a week or forever:

1____________________

2____________________

3____________________

4____________________

Are You Ready to Change?
Hopefully after answering the million dollar question above you can recognize that quitting drinking is not an impossible task and that if you had sufficient motivation to do so you could probably put down the drink for good.

Quitting is hard,* but the 10?s of millions of recovering alcoholics walking the streets of America right now ? and at least some of them were surely drinking harder than you are today ? argues convincingly to the possibility of change.

So the question really isn?t can you change; it?s, are you ready to change?

Few people would become alcoholics if there weren?t at least some things they enjoyed about drinking, and so for most people, making a decision to change also means making a decision to give up the pleasures associated with drinking alcohol ? and this can create some significant ambivalence.

You need to decide if:

The positives of quitting outweigh the positives of continuing to drink
The negatives of continuing to drink outweigh the negatives of quitting
Answering these questions and weighing the positives and negatives should help you to resolve ambivalence and make a decision to seek change, or to stay as you are. To get started, complete the following quick exercise.

1. Make a List of the Positives Associated with Continuing to Drink

For example, I enjoy the taste of wine, I feel more relaxed and confident after a few drinks, I have a lot of fun when I go out drinking with my friends etc.

2. Make a List of the Positives Associated with Quitting Drinking

For example, my health would improve, my children would respect me more, I?d save a lot of money, I would look younger etc.

3. Make a List of the Negatives Associated with Quitting Drinking

For example, I couldn?t hang out with my best drinking friends any more, no more going to wine tastings and other social gatherings with alcohol etc.

4. Make a List of the Negatives Associated with Continuing to Drink

For example, my liver function and high blood pressure will continue to worsen, I am likely to continue to get into trouble with the law for DUIs, I will continue to be a poor role model to my children, my wife may not stay with me etc.

There will always be ambivalence, but once you have made a fairly comprehensive listing of the pros and cons of quitting or staying as you are, it may be easier for you to choose the course of action that makes the most sense for you.*

, :h

[decided]

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By Porquoi via RC : My son shared this on FB and I thought of MWO and how profound this was...in more ways than one.

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I ...hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything.

It's important to remember to let go of your stress. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down.

[Hippyman]

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Excellent Post. THANKS!!!

[NewOne]

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Make a List of the Positives Associated with Continuing to Drink:
1. uhmm
2. mmmm
3. kkkkkkkk
4. hmmm....
5. errmm
6. blueberries & whipped cream???? wait a minute, that can't be it. I don't eat & drink at the same time.

;-P

I'm alive D !!!!!!!!!!!! I seemed to have gone thru anxiety to irritability to depression and now back to anxiety!!!!!!! I just love the circularity.

Being sober is not only hilarious it's addhd on crack.

I also came up with another diagnosis for myself but I can't seem to recall it at this moment.

ah-ten-hut! Onward soldiers!

[decided]

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Hi Hippy did you ever do that community work you were talking about? It keeps slipping my mind but its on my list of things to do.

Neoooooo!!!! Haha! Nice to see you! Your list sounds a lot like mine...

I was just thinking about you and Merry I know what you mean about the cycle..."Life is great!!! Oh...wait, waiiiit...nope...lifes still a bitch. I WILL KIIIILLLL HIMMMM. Meh could be worse...I guess its not so bad...what a beautuful day!!! I MISSED THE BUS!!! BAAAHHHH! "

As for the diagnoses I'm going with bat S*it crazy. It does make me laugh and your right ADD on CRACK for sure.

Haha. How long has it been now? Also are you taking any suppliments? I found that the axiety and depression are mostly gone except for a few short stints now and then...the irritability is far more manageable ( I just don't have the energy to bother anymore I guess and have started to remove myself from certain peoples company and situations). What have you been up too?

[NewOne]

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lol...batshit crazy....pretty much sums it up.

Not too much on the supps these days, just take what I need when I need it. Like I load up on B's when anxious..yunno, whatever, whenever.

The anxiety morphed into bad feelings. Like a doom & gloom kind of thing. I can't wait to see what shows up next.

I did realize that I am eating for comfort though. So I know it's time to stop that & face up to the ole demons. I 've got a pretty good size club though & I have killer aim.


Al flits thru my head from time to time, but I don't worry about acting on it. It's all like a bad memory.

I'm not pushing anything these days. I do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. If not, it ain't gonna happen.

Not one iota of f**k will be given today. (winky winky)

[decided]

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Lol!!! Not a single Fu*k huh? Love ittttt. You sound great all in all! B vits are still my best friend I find I get a little downer when I don't take them. I'm so curious to see where we will be in 3,6,9,12 months...clearly it gets better with time so I'm excited and anxious to discover who I really am and what I'm capable of at the up side of my spectrum.