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Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

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    #61
    Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

    Hi My life was an alcohol mess. It began by waking and vowing never to drink again,by lunch time maybe never again by evening my last day today for a drink. Overall my whole day was thinking drinking and planning to drink this went on for years. After the first few days once the booze is out of your system you stop thinking about it a little bit less each day, and instead of my day ending at 3pm to go get drunk I d think nope I am going to do something else instead because I can now I do not drink .
    6 weeks sober relapsed just completed day 1 AF again, hopefully a little bit wiser this time
    Its easier not to start than stop

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      #62
      Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

      Hi Martye......you have got it! What normal mammal drinks poison.

      We have all been duped by this BS......I can't believe I did it for all those years and accepted it as normal.
      I actually feel like a fool. I get the addicted part but how did it take me so long to get the rest.

      Ah well.....onwards from here.

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        #63
        Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

        kuya;1448869 wrote: Hi Martye......you have got it! What normal mammal drinks poison.

        We have all been duped by this BS......I can't believe I did it for all those years and accepted it as normal.
        I actually feel like a fool. I get the addicted part but how did it take me so long to get the rest.

        Ah well.....onwards from here.
        I appriciate all your support through this it means a lot!
        If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

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          #64
          Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

          You made me laugh when you said social drinking was like kissing your sister

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            #65
            Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

            Day 19 ? Booze free.

            Today was crossfit again and my smart recovery meeting. If people are not doing F2F meetings with others in similar situations I would HIGHLY recommend it they are fantastic!

            I was thinking about the saying ?all things in moderation" Really? Razorblade to your wrist in moderation? Slam your penis in a car door in moderation? Salad fork plunged into your eye in moderation? I don't follow that old, tired saying. It's too easy to become an alcoholic. Too easy to believe that you need a drink to cope.

            I am still trying to learn who I am and what a sober life is! As I have said I have not known myself for 15 years, it is like a baby again learning each day how ?normal? people live their life! I was so hard-core into the booze that I go to church just for communion

            I felt empty and sad for years, and for a short time, alcohol worked. I?d drink, and all the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away, but I was fantastic. I was beautiful, funny, I had a great body, and I could do math . But at some point, the booze stopped working. That?s when drinking started sucking. Every time I drank, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink until there was nothing left. Just emptiness. What a life. What a shit life to live!

            Put the bottle down and get a new life. I have been given a second chance at life, that some people never get and I will not let myself down, I will not slip, I will not falter!

            I hope everyone is truly kicking their goals in the butt and staying strong.

            I have been receiving a few PM?s about my recovery so if you have any questions feel free to PM me.

            All my love
            Marty!
            If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

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              #66
              Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

              DAY 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Booze free.

              Interesting day, not much work on today so just chilled out @ home. Had some cravings today but I told them to F off! They seem to listen to me a little more each day.
              Only a short check in as I have some things to do. I am proud of my 20 day achievement.
              I hope everyone is doing great!
              Marty!
              If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

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                #67
                Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                Martye

                Thanks for your story. I am just starting day three this morning and I feel like I am in this
                very foggy place with no real direction other than not to take that first drink.

                Thanks you give me hope.

                rednose
                All things in time if I am Alcohol free

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                  #68
                  Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                  HEY MARTYE

                  I have enjoyed reading your posts. You are seriously rolling along! Isn't it a great feeling?
                  I admire your tenacity. Everything you are doing is inspirational to me.

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                    #69
                    Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                    Hi Martye, Just wanted to chime in and say thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey, it sure has helped me. I hope you are well and where you want to be. I may friend you on facebook. Peace and love to you.
                    AF since 8/29/12 Goal 30 day-screwed up on day 9
                    AF since 9/9/12- Goal 30 days
                    STUMPY IS A LADY!

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                      #70
                      Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                      Martye,
                      You are amazing!
                      Well done! Keep looking ahead.
                      Wishing you every success and happiness.
                      Looking forward to ur next update!
                      Today I chose to start living!

                      Comment

                        #71
                        Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                        Day 21 -3 weeks booze free!

                        Today is ?strya day? where we celebrate everything that is Aussie. What this means is pubs, swimming, bbq and of course over consumption of beer.

                        Fairly depressing day today as I love Australia day and I am sitting at home doing nothing, I think I might go for a walk later to get those endorphins moving!

                        My mrs came back from OS today she has been gone for a week.

                        She is already getting in my nerves, bitching and moaning about such little things. I love her dearly and I hope it is just jet lag.

                        It is hard when a recovering alcoholic has to put all their energy into staying off the booze and I don?t give a shit about anything else. This makes me extremely selfish and I can see this causing trouble so I know I have to work on this as it was a HUGE trigger to make me drink!

                        I am not super human and for people who don?t understand the struggle it makes it hard. She does support me but has not idea just how hard every hour is, especially on Australia Day!

                        It was easer last week when she was not here as I could just relax and do what I want so I will have to make some adjustments. My partner has a 6 year old ?not mine? who lives with us most of the time she is back tomorrow and being 6 takes a lot of energy so I better put some plans in place tonight to deal with this.

                        I RUFUSE to fail, I will not FALTER, I WIL NOT GIVE IN!

                        The booze can take a hike; I just need to continue to learn to have fun without it!

                        As always I hope everyone is kicking their demons in the butt!!!!!

                        Cheers and happy strya day to everyone!
                        Marty!
                        If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

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                          #72
                          Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                          Just had a thought, bearing in mind what an up front guy you seem to be......why don't you let your wife read your log and have a read around........it might help her to 'get' how hard this thing is.

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                            #73
                            Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                            kuya;1450831 wrote: Just had a thought, bearing in mind what an up front guy you seem to be......why don't you let your wife read your log and have a read around........it might help her to 'get' how hard this thing is.
                            Great idea thanks, done and it helped, she just kissed me and said keep going. She does not truly understand and any non addict cant but at least she has a better idea
                            If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

                            Comment

                              #74
                              Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                              Day 22 – Booze Free

                              Feeling great today, was not a great day but still felt great all day! I feel on fire, committed, infused and determined.

                              Some days are good and some times are bad; I am not sure why today is good and why other days are crap. I wish I did know so I can make all days good!

                              Today my washing machine blew up and flooded the house so I spent half the day cleaning it up, this would be a trigger to drink, instead this time it just made me laugh! I slipped on my butt and laughed some more! I found it hilarious, normally I would just go get a drink and clean it up when I was pissed. Cleaning when pissed was much more bearable. Cleaning sober sucks but I guess that will always be the case

                              I take drugs for my clinical depression and bi – polar, maybe the fact I am not drinking is helping my meds actually work!? Maybe the fact I have depression and bi – polar is because I drink … lots of things to learn.

                              As well as my F2F meetings at smart recovery I am starting to see a councillor. I believe you need 7 things to help you quit. F2F meetings like AA or smart recovery, I good doctor, a councillor, fitness 6 times a week, friends and family support, 100% commitment and of course this forum.

                              I hope everyone is truly kicking their goals in the face and smashing them in the head!

                              I thought I would upload a quick video of the crazy crossfit stuff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyfwLApJr0&feature=youtu.be[/video]]Crossfit Sled - YouTube

                              Cheers,
                              Marty!
                              If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

                              Comment

                                #75
                                Day One and onward: The Diary of a chronic Aussie Drinker

                                martye;1451216 wrote: Great idea thanks, done and it helped, she just kissed me and said keep going. She does not truly understand and any non addict cant but at least she has a better idea
                                That is good to hear. She won't understand like I don't 'understand' kleptomania, but at least she gets how hard you are working at this.

                                BTW ...... Your moods will swing wildly for a while, it's annoying but it passes. Go with the flow and TRY not to analyse it too much.

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