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    #1

    New here and on Day 3 AF

    Hi. I found this site and have been reading a lot of the posts here for the last 3 days. I pretty much drink every day (2-3 drinks of wine or beer usually when preparing supper). When the weekend comes I allow myself however many I want till I'm "full". This has been going on for about 4 years and I'm tired of my kids seeing me tipsy or "yelly". Tired of forgetting what I said and did on weekends when I let loose. Tired of fighting with my husband ( in front of our kids). Tired of being hungover!! I have been drinking "socially since I was 13 (I just turned 50). That's how our family is. You socialize - you drink. I did quit drinking through both my pregnancies ( well.., occasional beer). Just can't imagine socializing without it.... Am very determined to do so though. I made it through this weekend without a drop. Feeling very optimistic and proud. Wanted to say hello. You are all very brave and inspirational.

    :new: :thanks:
    Live in the "NOW". :h

    Deb
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    #2
    New here and on Day 3 AF

    Great job getting through the weekend! And welcome to MWO. :welcome:

    I wanted to suggest reading the book Kick The Drink Easily by Jason Vale. It addresses societal expectations and talks about how twisted they are. I found it to be a real eye-opener.

    Comment

      #3
      New here and on Day 3 AF

      Thanks Fly Away!

      For the welcome! I will have a look at the book. Thank you!
      Live in the "NOW". :h

      Deb

      Comment

        #4
        New here and on Day 3 AF

        Hey Breezy Momma and welcome

        I've found this site to be so helpful since I quit just over 7 weeks ago. I also finished the book FlyAway refers to recently and it really helped me also, so I would also recommend it.

        Well done on getting through the weekend without a drop and good luck xxx

        Comment

          #5
          New here and on Day 3 AF

          Congrats and thanks Jinglejo for the welcome! 7 weeks is awesome! My issue is I have a few "clubs" I belong to that of course, involve drinking. They are both coming up in a couple weeks! I usually drink a bottle of wine at each. Not sure if I will just take a couple beers to the one and go slow with the other (it's a WINE CLUB!). That I started!!! Yikes.
          Live in the "NOW". :h

          Deb

          Comment

            #6
            New here and on Day 3 AF

            Welcome and congrats! I just started here too and everyone here is VERY supportive! Good luck and post often - you will find it makes it easier when you open up... You will be hard pressed to find an emotion or a situation that someone else on this forum hasn't already had and they can help you through it.

            Cheers, or as they say here, Salud,
            R4T

            Comment

              #7
              New here and on Day 3 AF

              Hi Ready4This

              Thanks for the welcome! How many days AF for you? How's it going?

              :thanks:
              Live in the "NOW". :h

              Deb

              Comment

                #8
                New here and on Day 3 AF

                Breezy - a hint for your wine club problem (issue)...

                It has been increasingly common (it seems to me) that more and more people are doing group monthly things - like "movember" where men grow beards or mustaches to raise awareness of men's health.

                Since ALL our friends drink (you wouldn't believe the culture of drinking here), rather than tell our friends that we have quit drinking, which would startle them, we are just telling everyone that we hit so many parties and drank so much in December (which was true) that we are participating in "No Drink January"... This has worked well. They respond with: "You serious??" and we say "yes, we are just giving our bodies a break.". And then they look at you kind of sideways but say "well, okay"... And they may think we are a little crazy, but not as crazy as if we told them that we quit. I expect to be razzed by a couple of my friends, and I plan on saying - hey it's just January, my body needs a break... Whereas if I told them I quit for good they would be like "yeah right, hahaha, here, let me get you a beer".

                When January is up, I plan on telling them that I feel so much healthier and more alert and just decided to continue not drinking.

                Lol - I tapered off alcohol, this is just a way to taper my friends into understanding that I don't drink anymore but can still be a friend. :-)

                All the best!

                Comment

                  #9
                  New here and on Day 3 AF

                  Breezy - this is officially only my second day AF, but I am done, no question.

                  I was drinking 14-18 drinks a day for a long time. I decided to taper down my drinking as quitting cold turkey actually has some pretty serious health consequences, up to and including death. I set a schedule starting with 12 drinks on Jan 2nd and drinking 2 less drinks a day for my first AF day on the 8th. First day I had 4 rather than 12 and had 4 the next two days and then yesterday skipped it. So in some ways I am on day 5, but only AF for yesterday and today. But trust me, when your body is used to 15 drinks a day, 4 seems pretty AF even if you aren't.

                  Definitely had minor withdrawal symptoms, but the tapering definitely helped and today I feel really good!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New here and on Day 3 AF

                    Ready4This - thank you so much for responding and sharing with me! You have done so very good on tapering! All the best in your AF journey!! How did you deal with your withdrawals. Mine include an annoying buzzy, airhead feeling and wanting to stretch and breath deep??? ( similar to when I quit smoking 19 yrs ago!!!). Can still remember the feeling! That's SO FAR.

                    Hugs!:thanks:
                    Live in the "NOW". :h

                    Deb

                    Comment

                      #11
                      New here and on Day 3 AF

                      Welcome Breezy......I am on day 6 now and like you, start of dinner prep was my time to have my first glass of wine. It started with that and a glass with dinner and over the years escalated to a bottle and a half daily and a lot of times 2 on the weekends. My kids are grown and now I am a grandmother. I have tried over the last few years to quit but I guess I felt like I was being denied something and never stuck to it for too long. This time I feel like its more my decision......hard to explain other than I feel readier this time. Other than having trouble getting to sleep, and a few urges as dinner prep time came, I have been okay.
                      To solve that, today I just finished making a turkey tetrazzini casserole for dinner...so a full 3 hours before I'd normally start drinking. All I have to do is pop it in the oven and make a salad, so the urge shouldn't be as strong.

                      "Ready4this"..... That's a good strategy re explaining why your not drinking. My first real challenge with friends is going to be next Saturday when we go out for a friends birthday celebration dinner and theatre. They love their wine, and they know I do to. I might borrow your explanation ....I hope I can be strong enough!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New here and on Day 3 AF

                        As far as dealing with withdrawals, I just treated myself as if I were sick. Laid around, read, spent a bunch of time on this site... Can't say I am totally over them either, but it is better. Exercise actually helps a lot - especially in dealing with having a hard time going to sleep...

                        Super important - drink LOTS of water. I like mine with lemon juice in it.

                        I also love beer. Not the alcohol in it, just the taste. So I switched to NA beer. If I want one I have one. I had a couple yesterday and I am having one right now. I still have regular beer in the fridge right next to the NA beer and haven't had any issues with caring, I just grab the NA and I am fine.

                        I don't seem to have the "if it's in the house" problem, which is critical where I live. I live on an island in the Caribbean and most of the events here are "all inclusive"... You pay $50 for the event and it may include food, but definitely includes an open bar... And I don't mean "some" events... Is more like almost every event... So in order for me to be AF I really need to be comfortable around liquor.

                        I actually have several bottles of wine still in the house, a couple I have been saving for special occasions. My wife and I decided that we'd open and drink them during my taper period to celebrate heading toward a AF lifestyle. Both bottles are near $200 apiece. They are still unopened, I got through my taper too fast! Lol! Oh well. And I have a fully stocked liquor cabinet. We decided to keep this around so when we have friends over we can still serve drinks.

                        The key here is that I decided that I wanted to be AF. Liquor will always be around, whether at the house or at the store or at a party. You just have to remember why you want to be AF and stick to it.

                        Sorry, long answer to your "how did you handle withdrawals" question. I guess the answer was that I wanted to be AF and just dealt with it. Tapering definitely helped, probably
                        Wouldn't have stuck if I tried to go cold turkey. I would have decided to have "just one or two" on the second or third day when I was feeling the worst and then I would have felt like I failed and things would not have gone as smoothly. And that's on top of the potentially serious health issues I could have suffered - siezures or DTs (did you know that DTs has as high as 35% mortality rate if untreated - and still 5-10% IF treated???).

                        Anyhow, it sounds like you are definitely determined to quit. Keep up that determination, tell your wine club that you are doing no drink January, show up and pour the wine (if you are strong enough) and start embracing all the good things that an AF lifestyle can bring!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          New here and on Day 3 AF

                          With that said, I'm off for a bike ride, the weather here is incredible for it. About 80 degrees out and a good breeze!

                          And NewDay - yes please use "no Drink January"! I think everyone just starting should use it. It is an easily believable excuse and who wants to try to explain why they quit right now to friends??? It keeps the questions of "oh, did something happen?" did her/his husband/wifeforce her/him to stop? Did they get in a fight? I never thought you had an issue with alcohol... Whatever...

                          Its just - "I partied really hard over the Holidays and I'm giving my body a break - besides, lots of people are doing no drink January this year, haven't you heard of it? Seemed like a good idea to me..."

                          Then in Feb you can just explain how much better you feel and how much more energy you have and oh just don't feel like drinking...

                          Frankly it's none of their business, but since you know they are going to wonder what's going on or talk about you behind your back, this just eliminates that aspect of it...

                          Good luck!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            New here and on Day 3 AF

                            Hi NewDay!

                            Thanks for the welcome. Good idea cooking early. I actually was in the kitchen all day yesterday making low cal cookies, lunch for my son and his girlfriend, then chicken dinner.
                            I will try to check in here often!!

                            Hugs!!:thanks:
                            Live in the "NOW". :h

                            Deb

                            Comment

                              #15
                              New here and on Day 3 AF

                              Ready4- I will go to my clubs and see how I feel. Might just "taper" for this month.... Not sure how strong I can be with nothing. I do walk EVERY day with my dogs and am a strong believer in exercise. Usually did a good workout 3x a week. Be it step class, aerobics, running. Have been biking (stationery.... Boring!!! Can't bike outside here... Too much snow!) lately. My heels have been rebelling on me (plantar fascitis). Thanks for all of the input!! Will be staying on for all the great advice and support here!:h
                              Live in the "NOW". :h

                              Deb

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