I was the original good time drinking buddy - at 5ft 10 I am a tall girl and could drink most under the table - what a gift! what a novelty for a bird!
Anyway it all changed when I had my children and wanted to stop but couldn't.
This is my first friday in I don't know when where I haven't had a drink and whats more don't want a drink.
About 3pm today - usual time I heard the voice - you know the one - how bout a glass of chilled wine..
I started to get anxious, heart beating faster, slightly irritated, head fuzzy, thought here we go... hold tight for a bumpy ride.
I put a hypno CD on, felt calmer. Then I thought you have felt really good for past 5 days- looking to future - thinking about losing weight, exercising, working better, treating kids better. Imagine how good it will feel 4 weeks in and then 4 months. I don't want the hangover tommorrow or to admit defeat - when I didn't have MWO and totally on my own with no-one to talk to I could convince myself it didn't matter because I didn't matter. Now I feel I do as I am part of something better.
Something has changed in me and I can see the positives of not drinking instead of the negatives of not drinking. I have finally seen it for what it was doing to me making me nervous, depressed, existing day by day sometimes hour by hour before I could go home to bed.
So 5 days is no big deal to some!! but to me it is a chance...I may just do this.
Love
S
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