Thanks Everyone. I Feel that I "Made it Through"
:thanks: Two dark months ago when I had nowhere else to turn after just being released from the ER and with my job in limbo, the good people on the message board got me through the weekend and (please pat yourselves on the back) I just celebrated my 46th birthday and have not had a drink in 60 days. A lot of love came through this computer screen and it probably saved my life. I was suicidal.
I want everyone to know that they too can do it. My story is not over, but my life has been handed back to me to make of it what I want.
As for Topamax (since this also about Topa), use it. It works. I steped up to 100mg 2X day w/o real side effects. Living in S. CA/USA my largest side effect was the cost. $325 for 60 100mg pills of which insurance pays only $65. This is because our Topa use is considered "off label". I have found that I can buy it, non generic, through a Canadian mail-order pharmacy for $172.
As a side note, I did check myself into a fancy Malibu rehab clinic and then checked myself out four days later (no, I didn't shave my head or anything). I found that, for me, personal counseling was enough. I think that rehab centers are a good option if you are physically addicted and need to detox. You can follow that up with outpatient - hey, we are all different. Certainly, the MWO is an excellent option. Please do this for yourself and those that love you. I know that it is really hard. Read the boards, if we can do it, I know that you can too.
I promise.
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