How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

[M22]

I just realized that tomorrow is Friday. I do not remember what a Friday without alcohol is. I usually use weekends as a way of no limits not that I limit during the week but I guess I leave one glass in the bottle on weekdays but weekends... I could finish the entire bottle.
I am nervous. I am 4 AF and I have to say I don't think I have done this is more that 10 years easy.

I don't know what to do. To be honest my mind is telling me, you did great all week it's ok to have a little on the weekend. I know that is wrong but I am being honest.

OH GOD!!!!

Posting this will help me. Its only Thursday and I am already thinking of the weekend.

What am I going to do? What should I do?

[Breezy Momma]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

Me too!

Hi M22. I am 8 daysAF today and don't think I've gone this long since I was pregnant 16 yrs ago!!! My husband is away to work for 7 and home for 7. I got thru last weekend when he wasn't here. I didn't do a hell of a lot socially but I made it!! This weekend he's here and I will have to be strong not to drink. He supports me in whatever I want to do with this!! I feel so good AF and am going to take it a day at a time here and try not to drink!!! Good luck to you. Stay strong! Lets check in with each other this weekend!!:h

[Mein Sonnenschein]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

Hi M22! I am also 4 days AF and I'm nervous about the weekend. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday and I didn't plan a dinner with his friends because I knew I would drink if I was out at a restaurant. I'm planning on cooking something at home but I am also nervous that I will pull out the 'ol wine bottle and reward myself for being good for 4 days. The difference with me is that I hide it from my husband. So let's support each other! I know we can both do it. Think of how great of a Saturday it will be not hungover!!

[M22]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

My problem is that my husband is an everyday beer drinker and he keeps telling me that I don't have to quit just to drink in moderation. I can't do that. He does not understand. All my friends are drinkers just not like me. I have ever stopped calling them because I don't remember half the stupid things I've said and done. My husband has said to me that he does not want me to quit because we are big social people.Is he selfish? Maybe not after all I do hide bottles from him and I sneak wine into my house and replace it before he knows its gone. This weekend is going to be hell.
He just don't get it.

[Breezy Momma]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

M22. If he doesn't know the extent of your drinking maybe that's why he just thinks you can control it like him. My husband had said also, you don't have to stop altogether, just moderate. I told him I don't know if I can. To me 2 tastes like 10. He says to do what I'm comfortable with. He'll support me either way. It will be a challenge this weekend. But just think, how will good it will feel to get through it and not be hungover, sick, embarrassed, wasting the next day!!!! :l

[Breezy Momma]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

Mein - good for you for being AF 4 days!!! You can do it!! I support your weekend challenges as well. Good luck. You can do it!!:l

[Breezy Momma]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

I saw a post on here. Can't remember who or where right now but it was about the posters brother in law coming over all "bright and happy" and going on drink 3 or 4, he just got dull and repetitive. It's just an illusion that we are interesting and witty when drinking. I really do believe that and am keeping that thought close. We need to trust and believe that we are worthy without damn alcohol!!!:h

[Mein Sonnenschein]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

Thank you Breezy Mama! Your support is so much appreciated!

M22... I'm so sorry for your situation. Believe me, I totally understand how difficult this is and the anxiety of the weekend. And I totally feel for you regarding your husband. I could not imagine having that kind of pressure. He should be supportive of you if you feel like you have a problem and you want to deal with it... he should congratulate you and put you first! It is totally possible to be a social person and not drink... I have a few friends like that and I respect their decision, and I'm often jealous that they can hold back. The first few days are not easy, I'm still struggling myself... but please turn to the support you will find here. I will be online and supportive if you want to vent, newbie to newbie.

Take care and just breathe!

[Phin]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

I was in this very same boat last weekend, with a couple of my friends on here.....we just made it. I personally didn't have a plan set out as to how I was going to handle it. I simply took each day as it came and next I knew it was Sunday! So now we can go into the weekend together holding cyber hands......everything will be ok. Like Mein said, 'just breathe'.

[Overit44]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

M-my husband also drinks and said the same thing to me. Like you, I was hiding how much and when I was drinking so he really had no clue. Part of his reasons for me not wanting to quit are based on my past attempts. I would (try to) quit but then punish him for still drinking. I was irritable and bitchy and impatient and cranky. No wonder he didn't want to be around me or have me be around anyone else. This time is different. Today is 30 days for me by the way! I have a different attitude. I am doing this for me. It's not his fault. I am quitting for me and my health. He is supporting me but I think because, I'm not taking it out on him because it is my "choice" not to drink. I am calmer, more patient. I'm not trying to rush home from events so I can get my drink on. I'm falling in love all over again with my hubs and I think he is seeing the girl he married in me again. Not the drunk who passes out, doesn't remember the evenings or conversations, burns meals, cries, argures, questions him, etc. This is my "choice." That's all it comes down to. Just like your weekend. No one is strapping you down and holding your mouth open. It is your "choice" to drink or not. Don't take it out on anyone. If you want to drink do it, if not, say "no thank you." and go fold a load of laundry, or take a bath, or take a walk, or pour a diet 7-up and read a book, or just go in your room and turn out the light and meditate or take a nap. Lots of naps help, as does eating. Check your reasons before you drink, and think about how you are going to feel afterwards. I wish you the best of luck. We are here for you but you have to make the "choice" for yourself. For me, moderation is not an option, I've tried that, and here I am today. Make a plan in advance and stick to it. Let us know how you do.

[New Day]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

M....I'm also like you and Overit....hubby had no idea how much I drank, but he knew it was quite a bit and every night. I've not said anything about going AF and its funny that he hasn't said a word and I'm on day 10. I went my first weekend AF last weekend...as Phin said,we had a group effort here all doing the same, and we all made it. Last weekend wasn't hard because I had no social plans, and no one at home drank either. But Saturday night we are going to dinner and the theatre for a friends birthday, and they know I love wine....they do as well. I'm practicing now saying "ill just have a cranberry and soda, please". If they try to get me to join them, I think I'm going to say I'm just on a health kick. Then I'll have to be very careful of what I load my plate up with at the buffet....LOL! It better be healthy stuff only or my cover will be blown!

If you don't have to socialize, just think of it as another day.

[Phin]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

New, same as me, last weekend I had no plans, this weekend an away basketball tournament. Those are normally drinking situations. We'll be with a couple who the wife rarely drinks but the husband likes to, so I will be strong. It helps that my husband isn't drinking either in support of me.

[Breezy Momma]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

Over it - great post! It is a personal choice. I am telling myself not to get mad at my hub when he goes out tonight for " Thirsty Thursday". He doesn't have the issue with drinking - I do!!! I will decide if its worth it when the time comes. Day at a time. Situation at a time!! Breathe......

[merry]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

okay guys we need to find the strength to attack another week-end af
start to get a plan of action ready

[Mein Sonnenschein]

How do I deal with my first AF weekend?

I don't have an exact action plan, but I find strength in focusing on thoughtful quotations, so I thought I would list some in case this helps anyone who is feeling anxiety about the weekend. I hope this reaches out and helps you all!

If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. - Dr. Robert Anthony

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. - Dale Carnegie

You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear - Mark Twain

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up - Thomas A Edison

You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. This may sound like a cliche, but it's true nonetheless. Often the greatest doubts occur just before a breakthrough. - Lama Surya Das

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

Nothing can stop the person with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Nothing on earth can help the person with the wrong attitude. - Thomas Jefferson

I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.

You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.

- Michael Phelps

I can accept failure, but i can not accept not trying. - Michael Jordan