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[truthiness]

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Many thanks!

Thanks so much to you all for your supportive and welcoming messages! They mean so much to me and ease the terrible feeling that you are fighting a tiger in a closet alone...

I took my first round of supps, snuggled down for a nice long nap and woke up to 14 incredible words of advice, welcoming, and support...

I hope to be a support in return and help us all find our truth in the truthiness.

Here's to first night AF!

thanks again :l ,
t

[Lotus]

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Hi Truth

As I was reading through your post, I could honestly say I could relate to it. I too finish 1 (or more) bottles of wine each night as I feel I deserve it after a hard day at work. I've got my exams in June and all I can think of is sitting in front of the T.V.

I keep trying to be AF but then my bus stop is right out side a supermarket and somehow I end up in the alcohol section! Today I'm hoping will be my first AF day. (I'm already panicking how I will cope without a drink), I tried last week but caved in. When I went AF previously I found the first the 1st week hard but it did get easier.

I wish you all the best.
Mandy x

[betty boop]

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Hi Truth and a very warm :welcome:

Well done, your post was very honest .... Good Luck

Mandy, You can do it love xx

[mustdobetter]

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Hi Truthiness. Welcome. I agree with everyone ahead of me. You are very passionate and I know that you can channel your passion and drive to get where you want to be. I wish you the best. This place is incredible for support, help, and comfort. I find that when I crave a drink now, I come here and I just start reading and posting, sometimes for hours, and I am able to get by it. Keep posting.

[truthiness]

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Hi Mandy-

You can do this! we are stronger than we know but will only find out if we test the waters. I went AF yesterday and feel good today. Got lot's of sleep and read Easyway to Control Alcohol by Allan Carr. It's been helping.

Go hour by hour if you have to. Hours turn to days which turn to weeks and on and on. I went AF last month for two weeks and I'm remembering how incredible I felt. The great news is the longer you go, the stronger you feel.

I'm on day two! you?
t

[Lotus]

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Truth

Congrats on day 2.

I am hoping today will be day 1 for me. I've read through my previous post and it has helped. I'm too reading Allen Carr's book....again. It really does show that I'm not in control otherwise I wouldn't be panicking about NOT being able to drink.

I've decided I will walk to another bus stop tonight so at least I won't be tempted, but then my husband is so inconsiderate that I know he will be drinking tonight and it doesn't help.

You're right though, I should break the evening into hours and maybe do some studying. I just feel so lethargic at the moment. Like you said I too know what it feels like to be AF, but it the intial few days that I find the hardest.

[Lotus]

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Great!!!

Hubby just called...to tell me he has bought me a bottle of wine to drink!!!!!!!

[DidItForMe]

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Truthy:
Just read your first post. Very well written. It's amazing what we tell ourselves so that we can live with our alcoholism. Sick, huh? But you hit the nail on the head. You can do this and we are all here to help in any way we can. Many hugs.

[DidItForMe]

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mandy:
my husband can be that helpful too.
what do we do?????

[truthiness]

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I don't know what is harder, a husband who won't support you or coming home to an empty house... I am on the latter side so cannot answer that question. Rely on us if you can, and maybe have a good ol' heart to heart with your husband. Maybe you've already tried, but it seems like if he is a good person at heart, if you tell him how much this means to you he might be willing to help? My thoughts are with you both and praying for understanding from the men in your lives.

Now, can you tell me how you found one in the first place? lol...

[Lotus]

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Thanks Truth

I spoke to him last night and he said he will not buy me drink again. Which is helpful, but I know he will continue drinking himself as usual. I did not manage to be AF yesterday so starting again today.

BTW I had an arranged marriage...that's how I found him.

[aquamarine]

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Truthiness- I just read your post and could relate to much of it. Coming here I think will really help you. An alcohol problem just really sucks you into a very isolating and dark life before you realize that it is happening. I am trying to remain AF and have about 31/2 weeks now. It is a very long process. You have made a huge step to really be questioning what is going on and trying to do something about it. One of the things , besides here, that has helped me alot is to really learn what addiction to alcohol really is. It is so hard to grit your teeth and try to go on sheer willpower. I t can leave you feeling so defeated and weak when you fail ( which you will along the way). You have to really understand that although yes it does take hard work and willpower, you are fighting against a real physical and chemical disorder in your brain brought on by ingesting alcohol. You have to remember that and be good to yourself. Always remember your good AF days. Don't let bad days set you back. If you use them as a way to become stronger then they will work to your advantage. This is an incredible place. It is the one place where you will never be judged and will always be supported. That will help you in a huge way. I think one of the really terrible things about this problem and which holds people back ( me at least) is you start to feel so horrible about yourself, and people around you can also not feel great about you. You really have to get beyond that , focus on the positive, and keep in mind your goal is to beat this , and you will. Keep coming back . You really can do this and we can all help! Aquamarine

[Zoe]

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This almost could have been written by me

Truthiness - Uncanny, and such a wonderful feeling to know I'm not the only one to have been living this kind of life. Shutting out all social ties, including family, to hide away at home with the most silent and trusted friend of all...the bottle. And to know when I went to the store to buy that bottle (which over the past few years suddenly turned into two bottles), that/those bottles would for certain be fully consumed by night's end. Wow. And all those "reasons" for drinking that had been pounded and ingrained into our brains for so many years....I have a family history of alcoholism, my father is bi-polar, my job really sucks and is stressful, I'm terribly disappointed with my life, the planet is being destroyed by global warming, and the list goes on and on with so many other dynamics and varying factors it us utterly and devastatingly dizzying!
You sound like a very solid, strong and fabulous person. Just be that incredible person you are and keep on keepin' on.
Best of luck to you and all of us!!
:new:

[Bella]

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Truthiness, you sound really together on this and i wish you all the support and help. you will find that this site is a life-saver. It is for me. Good luck to you. Bella

[losethebooze]

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Freaking Out Today

Sorry to crash in on your thread, I was in a different area and someone said general discussion would probably get me lots of help and support. I can totally relate to your story, too. Especially the part about relationships because they get in the way of you and your bottle. So I haven't visited for a while and now I am back because I need to just get out the embarrassment and anxiety that I feel this morning. I do believe that last night I hit my rock bottom. Taken me 10 years to get there, but here I am. I drank a fifth of rum last night while cooking dinner and apparently had some conversation with my some time boyfriend that caused him to call me this morning and just start asking me a million questions. I say sometime boyfriend, because I have been hiding a part of my life from the whole world, the fact that I am a big fat boozer who goes home at night and gets blotto and gets right back up in the morning and goes to work in a professional office. One of my dear friends was diagnosed with cancer yesterday, but that is no excuse to dive into a bottle night after night.

Can someone here help me with words of encouragement or wisdom. I do think I want to practice abstinence, but until I can get my world on track, I cannot drink at all. I am reaching out to this community because I know that you understand the anguish that I am feeling inside. This morning, I feel green around the gills. Mostly because I feel so sick that I have turned into such a lush. I am only 41 for God's sake.