Honeysuckle's Log book

[honeysuckle]

I hope this is acceptable but I would like to make a little thread that I can come to any time and just focus. All the community is super helpful but I just need somewhere 'smaller' to keep an eye on myself.

It is night 3. got my soda water and lemon juice. kids are asleep. Students reports all done and submitted. Hubby going to take all the booze away in the morning. lot of stuff bugging my brain about this quit.

sorry....I have to change keyboards...this is impossible to type on! swapping over... wait there...

[Rainyday]

Honeysuckle's Log book

I think this is a great idea. I wanted to do something similar before. It does keep you focused on your goals! Sometimes MWO gets too big!

I like your atavar... very scholastic!

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Back. I have been reading a lot and some of those people over on nest are very knowledgeable and inspiring. I aim to read more from them.

I put up a chart of 30 days to tick off each day. i feel really glad I have done 3 days. Do I miss a drink? Yes. Do I worry I cant get over Friday? yes, or after 30 days then what? I often wonder if i have a problem. I spoke to mu mum before. I said something about being an alcoholic and she said 'oh your not alcoholic' and i said, then why cant I just drink a glass or two on friday or saturday night? Why do I always think about what I am going to drink and if there is any in the house and why cant i just be like all the other millions of people who just spend the evening without a glass in their hands? I dont get smashed, never have blackouts, never ever drink during the day, always go to work, often feeling rough as hell. but the simple truth is i want to drink and always think about it. every day. that is not normal. i intend to write my lists soon on my log book to discuss them and get to the core of this. I am here because I so need support from those who did it. I want to know how they did it.

This quit i am trying campral, must buy some more tomorrow. it is only day 3, not sure if it is doing anything, or when it kicks in, but giving it a go, in secret.

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Rainyday, I find you really very supportive and interesting! Seriously, you are a real asset to mwo. I am going to change my avatar to something which will make me smile but havent hit it yet.

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Let's start with the reasons to continue drinking

i like it
it makes me feel so chilled out
i dont have a problem with drink
If I cant drink i wont enjoy social events
if I cant drink maybe sex will not be as fun
im not a blackout, daytime drinker
i need it for my stressful life
it is not really having any negative effect on my life
im bored at night without it

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Let's look at the key reasons for starting this quit:

I want to be a normal person
I dont want my beautiful children growing up seeing mummy drink every night and thinking it is normal and feeling any negative effects of it
I need to wake up with energy to provide a good happy life for my children, not a cranky, sleepy, headachy, shouty mum with a hangover
i dont want this constant issue with my husband who says i drink every night and hates it
I want another baby, to grow and breastfeed safely and healthily
i want my heart to be normal again, not to have a heart attack (scary lately!)
i need to lose weight
i need to detox my body for my skin, acute eczema and insides
dont want to think about it all the time
sure I will save tons of money!
why should a stupid liquid in a bottle rule ME?

i am sure there are more but I am done now, want to sleep! day 3, 22.37pm

[Rainyday]

Honeysuckle's Log book

honeysuckle;1448530 wrote: Rainyday, I find you really very supportive and interesting! Seriously, you are a real asset to mwo. I am going to change my avatar to something which will make me smile but havent hit it yet.

I hate to "busy" up your thread! But... I used an avatar of a picture of one of my most favorite places in the world - Desolation Wilderness in Lake Tahoe! That is just a suggestion!

And thank you for the kind words! Sometimes I feel I don't get noticed at all!

You can probably delete this post so it doesn't clog up your thread!

:l

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

No, I appreciate your comments and your support, it will help a lot. Anyone who wants to comment will be really appreciated but I dont want to seek attention.

FWIW, I think many people find you extremely supportive.

Would love to visit somewhere like your avatar one day. Been to the US once, to California, but would love to go back one day.

[Cinders]

Honeysuckle's Log book

:welcome: Honeysuckle.

I like your thread. Good idea.

Cindi

[paulywogg]

Honeysuckle's Log book

great idea honeysuckle,ill be watching your progress

[martye]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Love this idea of this thread. Keep it going you can make 30 days!

One on your list about sex. I can assure you sex is better when you are sober, much better!

My mum was in denial about my drinking problem so I took her to my doctor with me, she was no longer in denial after that LOL

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Cheers for the input martye.

day 4 started and got my husband to take most of the bottles away, albeit with a crappy argument which i cant be bothered to think about now.

More important is the battle going on in my head

'you dont have a problem, just cut down, it's ok, why are you makin this a big thing?'

'but I really want it out of my life forever, if I dont have a problem, why is it such an issue not to do that?

dreading Friday, dreading day 30. what then? Just think about the near and now. like the guitar bloke quoted on his thread 'but for me, today is where it's at'.. I like that

Feeling strong today, cleaning out cupboards, and I really seriously think I already lost like nearly a kilo, hahaha, well the scales say so and i believe them

Come on! go girl, you can do this. it is a stupid chemical controlling you! Arent you woman enough? focus on your goals instead of the drink, what is more important to you?

GOALS
Quit the AL noose
Learn to drive
have last baby
Save enough to buy own house (maybe in like 25 years!!!

[martye]

Honeysuckle's Log book

The short answer is if you have to ask, chances are you have a problem. If others in your life have told you that you have a problem, you probably do. If you have continued to drink in spite of negative consequences, that could be an indication of a serious problem.

[honeysuckle]

Honeysuckle's Log book

I agree Martye, I wouldn't even be here in this forum or even thinking and writing about this if I didnt have a problem.

That's what I need to suck up!

[martye]

Honeysuckle's Log book

Some info from "the simpsons"



Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?