my thoughts when i THINK i want a drink

[little beagle]

my thoughts when i THINK i want a drink

I will read that list if I ever want a drink. I felt horrible just reading it and then wonderful thst I never HAVE to feel that again.

[NoSugar]

my thoughts when i THINK i want a drink

Sometimes I'll have an experience that reminds me of the bad old days - like staying in a hot tub or sauna too long and feeling sick and dizzy afterwards. That used to be magnified by wine but the less intense reaction is a good reminder of where I never want to be again.

Thanks for bringing this thread back, Pauly.

[treetops]

my thoughts when i THINK i want a drink

I recall that I knew that my life would be cut short because of the damage I was doing to my body. I felt this was not only letting myself down (understatement) but also my mother (who made great sacrifices for me to be happy and healthy ) and it would leave my own daughter in pain the rest of her life.
I also never want to have to go back to another recovery group or therapist to discuss my AL problem. I hated that. It felt like punishment rather than therapy. there is no going back now for me.
So like Sam said I don't want to undo what I have achieved since stopping the booze. The thought of me Drinking AL feels alien now.

[paulywogg]

Nearly a year since I bumped this for myself, hmm,I've done better but still had my falls since then,stupidity, insanity, and guess what? Each of my "falls' ended up with the EXACT same result as the list,only I can add a bit more sadly, taking a week off work, driving drunk paranoid of cops,passing out with my boob hanging out and my daughter seen,making hubs cry cuz he was so worried, fucking up a regular clients hair cuz I had to drink to get through work(shakes) charging beer on my credit cards cuz I didn't have enough cash,shitting out whole vitamins cuz my guts were messed up,only being able to choke down tiny amounts of food,trying to "taper" only to drink more than the previous day,I'm sure I'll remember more,sadly

[lizker]

Paulywogg whats going on dear? last time i was here you had built up several weeks.......if you slipped, please get back up again. Do exactly what you did when you were sober. It still works, victory belongs to YOU not alcohol.

[paulywogg]

Liz,I always build up time and "slip" I'm not drinking, have some time built,just need to remind myself of why I'm not going back,also have antabuse on tap now,see I don't have daily cravings but sometimes I get fuck it days,with these reminders I get stronger

[narilly]

Pauly, hang in there. Sorry you are going through this. Focus on today, don't drink today.
I felt like saying f'it for the past couple of days but I was able to hang in there and not drink. I came here and posted in the Nest and that helped.
Big hug from me.

[Anjicia]

Excellent post Polly I need to remember the bad side and all the horrible after effects. The buzz no longer works for me either just drunkeness haziness and all the other crap.

[paulywogg]

Having had a stint with"euphoric recall" recently I figured I should dig this up as a reminder that the reality isn't so damn "euphoric" after all.

[little beagle]

Thanks Pauly. Ive honestly been having a bit of a f'it attitude lately. Like there really isn't anyone to care if I drink. And all use to be a great friend when I was lonely. No I don't think I can safely drink. I know I can't. But here recently there have been times when I just really don't care.

[available]

Great to see you LB. You have to care about yourself even if you think no one else does. A friend of mine drank after two years, said she would not drink again as she had it out of her system now and al was not what she wanted and guess what, she is drinking again and keeps wondering why al has that hold and why the hell did she have that drink again after two years. Al wont make a goddamn thing better. Keep plodding along like we do and take care of the most important person in the world. YOU. xx

[paulywogg]

LB,I think we all get that thought sometimes, like who really cares if I'm sober or not,I'm a grown ass woman and I'll do what I want,etc,but the reality is that if you ever did decide to drink YOU would care and that's worse than what anybody else thinks,stay strong my friend

[Guitarista]

Thanks Pauly. Ive honestly been having a bit of a f'it attitude lately. Like there really isn't anyone to care if I drink. And all use to be a great friend when I was lonely. No I don't think I can safely drink. I know I can't. But here recently there have been times when I just really don't care.

Hi Pauly and all,

LB, I care if you drink (or not). I will come over there and kick your funky U.S of A ass if you do. I can tell you that it will not be worth it, and the disappointment you are sure to feel will drive you into a destructive, negative downward spiral quicker than you can say 'fk it'. You really are one of them special Raaawk stars. Keep up your amazing work and keep being you. :llama:

Day fkin 8 here and........................................loving it.

[NoSugar]

LB, I would care if you drank and I know you would if I did :hug:. We've come too far to give it up. xx, NS

[Pie]

Thanks Pauly. Ive honestly been having a bit of a f'it attitude lately. Like there really isn't anyone to care if I drink. And all use to be a great friend when I was lonely. No I don't think I can safely drink. I know I can't. But here recently there have been times when I just really don't care.

LB, there doesn't have to be anyone else to care if we drink, because it's the person in the mirror who gets to enjoy the benefits of an AL-free life, and the person in the mirror who suffers most when drinking. If what's making you uncomfortable right now is loneliness, then get to work on fixing that. Alcohol won't fix lonely. But you know that. :hug: