I need Help!

[M22]

I cannot keep doing this to myself. I wake up hating my life and I don't know what to do? How do I justify my wine drinking every night then hate myself every single morning. I just want to stop! I want to feel normal. If I do not want to drink why do I always want to drink. I have a problem! I have a big problem but I don't know who to talk to or what to do.
I have to do it for my kids. I have to do this for me. HOW DO I DO THIS? How do I start, where..... I am so lost! All I want to do is cry, cry, cry. I feel so depressed.

Please someone help me. Tell me what to do because I am so lost!

Thanks alot,
M22

:upset:

[rednose]

I need Help!

M22,
Welcome to the fourm. You have found a place that can help you become AF if you want it bad enough.
There are so many people including me that started out with the same post as you posted.
There is a way out.
First you have to be commited to becoming AF.ALCOHOL FREE) From there it is a day by day process.
Eat well, rest as much as you can, Be easy on your self you are fighting a disease that is fuled by alcohol.
It can be done. I just got 7 days in a row AF. It was not easy but it is possible. I was drinking a fifth of gin a day plus some wine.
Trust me if I can do it you can do it. Check in here everytime you feel like having a drink. I know there will be someone that will help you thru that moment.
It is hard for the first 4 to 6 days depending on how much you drank everyday but it does get easier.
There are also meds you can get to help with the cravings but I never tried any of them so I can't advis you on meds. You have found a wonderful site to help you along the way to becoming AF.

Welcome and good luck.

rednose.

[aihflvt]

I need Help!

Hi M, and welcome. Although our personal experiences and circumstances are not the same, we are all here for the same reason you came here. It's difficult to give you any kind of concrete advice since we don't know how long and how much you've been drinking. If you haven't been drinking large quantities over a period of years, you'll probably experience some shakes, irritability, insomnia and other minor withdrawal symptoms. The important thing is you not cave, no matter how uncomfortable it is. But if you have been drinking large quantities (like Red I was drinking anywhere from a pint to a fifth of vodka, plus beer daily) over a prolonged period of time, it's best to consult a doctor. First off, they will run liver enzyme tests to see what, if any damage, you've done to your liver, and they can provide you guidance for detox. When in doubt, see a doctor.

[Struggles 106]

I need Help!

HEY M22

Don't despair! I know it is hard but things can and will get better if you persevere.
This is a wonderful place for support and encouragement. You will have a lot of things you need to do--first of all THINK and figure out a plan!
Go to AA (or not ) , go to an addiction specialist if you can, rid your place of alcohol, avoid drinking situations. Drink water. Lots of stuff to consider.
You can get help in the Newbies Nest. Some people do like the meds and there is a thread for that. I did not care for AA but that's just me. It helps a lot of people and I am sure in NYC you have a lot of options.

We are all here for you any time. All of us have felt the shame and guilt and remorse of drinking. It is SO not worth it!

Hang in there and stick around. I think someone mentioned doctor help, which is a good idea if there is a chance that you need a medical detox. It can be dangerous, but it depends on the severity of your intake

[FlyAway]

I need Help!

M22 this is the universal story of being addicted to alcohol. I can't begin to tell you how many mornings I'd wake up at 3am, heart racing, cotton mouthed, sweating, and swearing "never again." Then I'd be drinking that very night thinking that I'd quit tomorrow.

I think what happens at night is that you dissociate yourself from the "you" who will be waking up the next day feeling like shit. It's like you're talking about someone else dealing with the aftermath of a wicked drunken evening. It's a form of procrastination; I'll deal with this tomorrow, not right now. Isn't that what you tell yourself when you're making the decision to drink at night? That there'll always be another day to deal with this? The problem is that you're teaching your kids now, not tomorrow. Your every action is teaching them how to live their future lives right now. Now is the time to deal with this, not tomorrow.

Write down everything that you hate about drinking on a piece of paper right now. Write down how horrible you feel in the morning, how much you hate yourself, how much you want to change, what kind of a mom you want to be, what kind of example you want to set for your kids, etc. Write every wretched thought out and have that available for tonight. You need to read this sheet tonight when you get a craving. And when you get a craving think about how great you'll feel tomorrow. Yes, it is you who will be waking up tomorrow and you will feel spectacular. Believe it because it is true.

You will hear talk about making a "plan" on MWO and using the Toolbox. A plan is made up of "tools" that will help you in your journey to sobriety. There are ways to make this easier. Willpower is not enough. The MWO book has a plan to follow. You can buy the MWO book at this site or at Amazon. I haven't read it personally. But it involves dietary supplements such as kudzu and L-glutamine which you can buy at a health food store, hypnosis CDs, prescription meds if you choose, meditation, exercise, etc. There are some helpful books too. I personally loved and strongly recommend Jason Vale's Kick The Drink Easily. Others liked Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Drinking. Other books are mentioned in the book section of this site. The Toolbox is a stickied post at the top of the Monthly Abstinence section of the site. It is a post devoted to tools which other members found helpful in their journey. You need to decide what tools you are going to use. Usually a multi-tiered plan is best. Don't leave anything to chance.

If you have a "witching hour" or a drinking place, a time or place that triggers drinking thoughts in you, you should try to change up your routine. If coming home from work is your trigger, then go to the gym or go for a walk or the library or just something different. If cooking dinner is your trigger then order takeout or have your spouse cook or do anything you can to avoid the trigger. Sometimes just sipping a nonalcoholic drink is enough to satisfy the craving. But you must be prepared.

If you have a craving know that it's just your mind talking to you and that it will pass. The human brain loves patterns and order and it quickly forms neural pathways when you do something over and over. So you have a neural pathway built in your brain that tells you to drink. Picture a path that you travel through the woods. Forging a new path through thick underbrush will be hard and take time, but you can make a new path by taking it every day. It will get clearer and clearer and the old path will become overgrown and eventually will be imperceptible.

[Byrdlady]

I need Help!

M22, Welcome...I'd like to invite you over to the Newbie's Nest, the link is in my signature line below...We have folks in ALL stages of his/her quit! Once there, I'd recommend you read back a couple weeks and get to know us. We have had some wonderful posts lately...and we've had lots of first time Newbies, you'll be in great company. Finally, visit the Tool Box, the link is also below. You'll find 100's of tips and coping skills to help you thru these first challenging days. You have landed in a great spot if you are sick and tired and being sick and tired! Byrdie

[Persephone1]

I need Help!

:welcome: M22,

This can be the start to a new life for you. You are not alone. We've all felt the same. This forum is a wonderful place to heal & I'm so glad you found it...Come over to the Newbie's Nest; it's a warm, comfy place to nestle in during the beginning of your process. Words of wisdom, accountability and loads of encouragement will be here for you. The 'toolbox' has many practical 'tools' to help you through the roughest times. Try to be kind to yourself and get through today poison free! All the best...:h

[Guitarista]

I need Help!

Hi M22,

In case you missed it, here is the link to our toolbox. Just click on it and it will take you there.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[Guitarista]

I need Help!

FlyAway;1456805 wrote:

Forging a new path through thick underbrush will be hard and take time, but you can make a new path by taking it every day. It will get clearer and clearer and the old path will become overgrown and eventually will be imperceptible.

Great post above Flyaway, and i love how you describe the forging of a new path.

[Mootsbill]

I need Help!

Welcome M22. Some brilliant posts for you there. I just wanted to add that I know how you feel, I've been at the bottom too many times. But it is possible to work your way out. Use the toolbox and keep posting. X

[decided]

I need Help!

:I M welcome back! Go read through your old posts and remember how you felt for those sober days in the past then do the same thing for another day and keep going from there. You said you felt wonderful and now your very concious of your justifying the drinking. I find that we tend to build the not drinking thing into a bigger scarier event than it really has to be and that's usually the biggest excuse we end up using for ourselves.

You have already done it once so you know you can do it again! Invest a few hours in reading and catching up on what you have missed, make a plan, get the supplies you need then make like NIKE and "just do it".

I could be wrong but from what I've read here that's the only formula that works posting all your thoughts, feelings and experiances whatever they are on your own thread helps to resolve a lot of the mental challenge and helps you to see things more clearly.

You have the advantage of experiance having quit befor. You know the rewaeds and you know the risks of giving back in. Use that knowlede to kake you further this time

So get Back on the horse!

Hugz