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    Day nine begins with some depression.

    Good Morning to you all, just want to apologize for the long post in advance.

    Day nine begins and I am grateful to be AF this morning.

    I have noticed that sneaky old depression is starting to set in.
    I saw my Dr Yesterday and we agreed on what I was doing with my medications.

    I think one I am grieving the loss of and old friend, not a good friend but one that was always there for me. My friend and foe Alcohol. I know it might sound silly but it is
    Like losing a friend or something that you had to turn to everyday of your life.
    First and second drink I had a friend. After those first two drinks the friend disappeared and the enemy arrives with anger, self loathing and so on.
    I also know that going to Maine is triggering the depression cycle. I have been back and forth to Maine 28 or more since June first 2010. That is when my brother died.
    Then my step dad committed suicide in August of 2011 and we had to put my mom in a Physiatrist ward the Wednesday before Christmas of 2011. Since then she has gone from assisted living to a nursing home suffering from dementia and Alzheimer?s disease.
    So my trips to Maine are depressing to say the least. My mom still knows who we are about 50% of the time which is a sad thing to watch.
    There were other things during that time that happened that were loses and stressors.
    So back to depression, did any of you find yourself dealing with depression early on being AF? I know in time it will get better, but when you are depressed it is hard to remember that it will get better. It is like the old saying. ?When you are up to your ass in alligators it is hard to remember the objective was to drain the swamp.?
    I also realize that I am dealing with losses that have happened with out my old buddy the bottle.
    So enough of the pity party just had to share my thoughts.
    Just because we choose to become AF does not mean that things are not going to happen in our lives that are going to cause us pain and loss.

    I am going to stay focused on the prize. Being AF is a much better way to live even with
    the things that life throws at you.

    Hope this was not to much information for you all. Thanks for being here.

    Hope you all have a good AF DAY

    rednose :thanks::thanks:
    All things in time if I am Alcohol free

    #2
    Day nine begins with some depression.

    Just reamember that depresion is a lie....To yourself..

    Comment


      #3
      Day nine begins with some depression.

      Red, Maine can be such an enjoyable and pleasant place, would it be possible for you to "reward" yourself (not the best word) after dealing with your stressors and triggers with something really enjoyable and pleasant? Understandably, you've made negative associations with the place in your mind. Maybe those negative associations can be offset or mitigated by doing something just for you.

      Comment


        #4
        Day nine begins with some depression.

        Hi rednose. Stay focused on the prize. Stay sober. You've come so far your doing so great. You don't need the alcohol. Its not a friend its an evil enemy that makes you depressed. Keep moving forward keep strong and keep the faith. You can do it. Wow your doing sooo great. Your helping me!

        Comment


          #5
          Day nine begins with some depression.

          I had a bit of a downer also after the 1st week. It goes away before you know it. Just keep identifying your feelings it really helps to clarify them. And post as much and as looong as you have to to get it out.
          This too shal pass.

          Comment


            #6
            Day nine begins with some depression.

            RN,
            Do you have a plan for how you are going to take care of yourself while you are in Maine? It seems like there are so many things that happened to you there? And it looks like you are going to go to take of your mother, which can be very difficult? So...is there a beautiful place that you like to go to? This may sound silly... but lobster rolls maybe?

            Comment


              #7
              Day nine begins with some depression.

              Hang on to that quit Red! You've go to have a plan in place that is rehearsed so it just comes naturally. Don't start to Romanticize the AL, it's a liar! Stay with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


              AF since 12/26/13

              "...........just put one foot in front of the other and move forward. One step at a time." Chris McCombs

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4

              Comment


                #8
                Day nine begins with some depression.

                Hi Red,

                Sorry to hear about your family history. That is hard - no matter how far back in the past, these things always hurt.

                Depression, feeling low, lacking energy, under a fog or some other varient are feelings most of us here will get. For my two cents worth, I am feeling pretty low right now, but I recognise a few things that help me:

                One of the main reasons i feel low is that i am having to deal with, channel, worth through stuff i have spent 15+ years hiding from - mainly through AL

                I believe I am and will be stronger for dealing with these things sober

                Having been sober for 66 days, I am finding it easier and don't particularly want a drink. My resolve is still strong, I believe, and I have a determination to face things in life sober - I believe I have broken the back of the habit.

                I recognise these because i am sober. Sobriety brings clarity.

                Don't give into the depression Red. Yes it hurts, but it will pass. And if you need to speak to someone, to see someone, then that is good. Better to be dealing with these things sober than drowning them in AL.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Day nine begins with some depression.

                  Hey you all, Thanks for the advise and encouragement. I actually feel better already today.
                  Maybe it was the morning blues or who know's what sets it off. I need to take it as it comes and one day or hour at a time.
                  And yes I do see a Lobster or two in my future. So much for the diet. All things in time if I stay AF... THAT IS GOING TO BE MY NEW MOTTO.

                  All things in time if I am Alcohol Free.

                  Thanks again you all. This is a wonderful place to be able to come too.

                  rednose :thanks:

                  All things in time if I am Alcohol Free
                  All things in time if I am Alcohol free

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Day nine begins with some depression.

                    I love that saying Red! Yes all things in time as long as you stay sober. Make up your mind that you are gonna do whatever it takes to create a joyful sober future. You can do it. I know you can!
                    rednose;1457591 wrote: Hey you all, Thanks for the advise and encouragement. I actually feel better already today.
                    Maybe it was the morning blues or who know's what sets it off. I need to take it as it comes and one day or hour at a time.
                    And yes I do see a Lobster or two in my future. So much for the diet. All things in time if I stay AF... THAT IS GOING TO BE MY NEW MOTTO.

                    All things in time if I am Alcohol Free.

                    Thanks again you all. This is a wonderful place to be able to come too.

                    rednose :thanks:

                    All things in time if I am Alcohol Free
                    Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Day nine begins with some depression.

                      Your doing great a real inspiration to me. Id take lobster over alcohol any day

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Day nine begins with some depression.

                        Thanks for sharing that with us Red. I'm sorry you've bee been feeling down.

                        The trip to Maine sounds like it will be very difficult, but try to remember that although it may be unpleasant, it's also only temporary. Instead of dwelling on being there, think of getting through it and how nice it will be to come home.

                        Will you be able to check in with us while you're there?
                        There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                        You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                        I didn't come this far to only come this far.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Day nine begins with some depression.

                          cathysgottastop;1457596 wrote: Your doing great a real inspiration to me. Id take lobster over alcohol any day
                          Thank you and I agree. Lobster anyday.

                          Thanks rednose.:thanks:

                          All things in time if I am Alcohol free.
                          All things in time if I am Alcohol free

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Day nine begins with some depression.

                            Lobster is good for you

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Day nine begins with some depression.

                              You said your day started out with some depression sorry to hear that. But. You also said its DAY 9 woohooo that's something to be very very proud of. Congratulations. Keep it going I know you can

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