Good Morning to you all, just want to apologize for the long post in advance.
Day nine begins and I am grateful to be AF this morning.
I have noticed that sneaky old depression is starting to set in.
I saw my Dr Yesterday and we agreed on what I was doing with my medications.
I think one I am grieving the loss of and old friend, not a good friend but one that was always there for me. My friend and foe Alcohol. I know it might sound silly but it is
Like losing a friend or something that you had to turn to everyday of your life.
First and second drink I had a friend. After those first two drinks the friend disappeared and the enemy arrives with anger, self loathing and so on.
I also know that going to Maine is triggering the depression cycle. I have been back and forth to Maine 28 or more since June first 2010. That is when my brother died.
Then my step dad committed suicide in August of 2011 and we had to put my mom in a Physiatrist ward the Wednesday before Christmas of 2011. Since then she has gone from assisted living to a nursing home suffering from dementia and Alzheimer?s disease.
So my trips to Maine are depressing to say the least. My mom still knows who we are about 50% of the time which is a sad thing to watch.
There were other things during that time that happened that were loses and stressors.
So back to depression, did any of you find yourself dealing with depression early on being AF? I know in time it will get better, but when you are depressed it is hard to remember that it will get better. It is like the old saying. ?When you are up to your ass in alligators it is hard to remember the objective was to drain the swamp.?
I also realize that I am dealing with losses that have happened with out my old buddy the bottle.
So enough of the pity party just had to share my thoughts.
Just because we choose to become AF does not mean that things are not going to happen in our lives that are going to cause us pain and loss.
I am going to stay focused on the prize. Being AF is a much better way to live even with
the things that life throws at you.
Hope this was not to much information for you all. Thanks for being here.
Hope you all have a good AF DAY
rednose :thanks::thanks:
Day nine begins and I am grateful to be AF this morning.
I have noticed that sneaky old depression is starting to set in.
I saw my Dr Yesterday and we agreed on what I was doing with my medications.
I think one I am grieving the loss of and old friend, not a good friend but one that was always there for me. My friend and foe Alcohol. I know it might sound silly but it is
Like losing a friend or something that you had to turn to everyday of your life.
First and second drink I had a friend. After those first two drinks the friend disappeared and the enemy arrives with anger, self loathing and so on.
I also know that going to Maine is triggering the depression cycle. I have been back and forth to Maine 28 or more since June first 2010. That is when my brother died.
Then my step dad committed suicide in August of 2011 and we had to put my mom in a Physiatrist ward the Wednesday before Christmas of 2011. Since then she has gone from assisted living to a nursing home suffering from dementia and Alzheimer?s disease.
So my trips to Maine are depressing to say the least. My mom still knows who we are about 50% of the time which is a sad thing to watch.
There were other things during that time that happened that were loses and stressors.
So back to depression, did any of you find yourself dealing with depression early on being AF? I know in time it will get better, but when you are depressed it is hard to remember that it will get better. It is like the old saying. ?When you are up to your ass in alligators it is hard to remember the objective was to drain the swamp.?
I also realize that I am dealing with losses that have happened with out my old buddy the bottle.
So enough of the pity party just had to share my thoughts.
Just because we choose to become AF does not mean that things are not going to happen in our lives that are going to cause us pain and loss.
I am going to stay focused on the prize. Being AF is a much better way to live even with
the things that life throws at you.
Hope this was not to much information for you all. Thanks for being here.
Hope you all have a good AF DAY
rednose :thanks::thanks:
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