Well, Im back again...sigh...

[Honeysoup]

Ok, I feel off the wagon AGAIN I have been struggling with quitting since October 2011. Actually thats probably not true, its probably started the first time I ever took a drink. Anyway, I have had feels like hundreds of Day 1's. This last time on January 1 when I quit I was so ready, I honestly don't know what made me want to drink again. I wasn't mad, I wasn't sad, or happy or glad. I just wanted it. And it seemed so natural to just go for it. Good thing is I was able to spread out my days a little more. I would drink for 2 then off for 3 or 4 then again...But I don't know why I want to torture myself over and over and over again. This must mean I am officially INSANE! Struggle Struggle with the voices in my head...I wish I would quit before I'm dead!

[FlyAway]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

I'm glad that you're back.

When I finally knew in my heart that I never ever again wanted a drink, when I finally wanted to not drink more than I wanted to drink, everything fell into place. It took a few starts and stops, but I think that's all part of the process.

:l

[kuya]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Honey......what is the longest stretch you have had abstainant?

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

32-35 I can't remember for sure) days since I have been trying to quit.

[kuya]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

That is a decent stretch..... Did you crave throughout it?

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Yes, at first its always hard but this last time it wasn't so hard. I was just ready to quit. In fact, I couldn't wait for New Years Eve to be over because I was ready for my AF life. I get so positive and feel amazing. Just like I do after my first 2 drinks but then it goes downhill from there. Can't stay on top of the hill I keep rolling down backwards!

Fuck you AL stay away from me.

Even as I am typing now I feel half of my brain saying....nice glass of wine after the gym would be fantasic...until its NOT!!!

GRRR....I'm so frustrated with this struggle. I hate it!!! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!~!!!!

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

And this is way too much information but I find my most difficult times from many that I have quit is when I have PMS...I want wine and chocolate and cake and I'm cranky and tired.

Anyone else have that problem?

[paulywogg]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

i have that problem big time! pms anxiety and insomnia hits me like a ton of bricks,almost to where im not thinking clearly,your def not alone there,im glad youre back,i was just wondering about you the other day

[scottish lass]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Oh my! I stopped Dec 31st and was doing fine until last week. I had no idea what triggered it, but in the TMI line, I thought I had reached menopause, but more fool me! PMS was a big trigger from me a year or so ago and I learnt to be prepared for it - but I let my guard down as I thought those days were over - I believe my lapse last week was due to this and now my hormones are back settled, I am back on track!!
I am so disappointed my AF year did not come to fruition, but I am glad to realise what caused my slip up and so relieved to be back on track again!
Well done for getting right back on again - even though I am disappointed, I am able to realise that I am doing so much better than I had been and that is a good thing!

[kuya]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

This is a thought out of nowhere .....would it be worth talking to your doctors about the contraceptive implants?

Removing the depths of PMS might help a lot of you pre- menopausal women quit, assuming you are not planning more children.

I am very mindful that PMS is a modern phenomenon.

[paulywogg]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

kuya all birth control stuff makes me crazier than i already am

[tree23]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Lady stuff makes everything worse for me...and I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome so it is even more unpredictable and intense. I have an IUD which helps stuff, but it masks some very obvious signs of cycle business so I end up all cranky and over-reacting and can't figure out why and then after about a week of it, it finally dawns on me that I am a female of reproductive age, and oh yeah...sh*t! The bottle has never made it feel better, only made me pms-y and hungover!

[K9Lover]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Honey -
Just wanted to give you a :l...we've all started over MANY times. You only fail when you quit quitting. You can do this, we can help! :h
K9

[Lavande]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Honey,
I was in your shoes a few year ago, honestly!
What helped me the most was getting my hormones & moods stabilized & the MWO Hypno CDs to get my thinking straightened out.

Think about what you can do to really help yourself succeed
Lav

[Kradle123]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Honeysoup;1458733 wrote: And this is way too much information but I find my most difficult times from many that I have quit is when I have PMS...I want wine and chocolate and cake and I'm cranky and tired.

Anyone else have that problem?

Honeysoup :l. Tree and Polly I am there at this very moment... Rum and cokes were my meds of choice and of course just to make certain I could get good and sedated I'd throw in the occasional midol or 4...

I have such a clear memory of traveling thru Cody, Wy with my boyfriend, getting my period and then explaining to him that we needed to find a liquor store licketty split as R&C's were the only cure for my very severe menstral cramps...the crazy thing though is that I truly believed this...and to be fair, AL did help some but off course once I felt fine again, I went on trying to feel even better.

Well, truth now is though I have some longing for those days of complete unconsciousness...I can't anymore because I know the truth about myself...painful as that is sometimes. MWO gave me that clarity...ready or not...

So you are absolutely in good company here. But we are Back on track. Me too:goodjob:

:h

PS - I have Costco chocolate chip cookies out in the kitchen and whipped cream ready to go.