Well, Im back again...sigh...

[paulywogg]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

chocolate chip cookies and whipped cream,il be over in a few!

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Ok, so I was on the fence yesterday again and my inner AL back stabbing bitch came out and I bought a bottle of wine. I don't even know why I did it??? After work I went to the gym then I went the the Corner drug store and bought some make up and some multi vitamins and some candy for my kids. Then I walked through the liqueur isle and told myself no. I hurried up and got in line....BUT the lady in front of me was taking for ever and I was thinking "oh screw it" and I ran and grabbed a bottle...I felt guilty for even buying it....then I went home and fed the kids and ate and went to my son's school function..got home got my little one in bed did 3 loads of laundry and the wine was in my head almost the whole time. Once I sat down I got back up and searched for another wine glass and had 1 glass and added some ice to it then another and another then of course I made bad eating choices and made a slice of pizza and then chocolate....needless to say GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY my 3 best friends!!!

I keep telling myself today is a new day....fresh start....get that dirty AL bitch out of your life...FOREVER!!!!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me?

[NoSugar]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Honeysoup;1459085 wrote: Ok, so I was on the fence yesterday again and my inner AL back stabbing bitch came out and I bought a bottle of wine. I don't even know why I did it??? After work I went to the gym then I went the the Corner drug store and bought some make up and some multi vitamins and some candy for my kids. Then I walked through the liqueur isle and told myself no. I hurried up and got in line....BUT the lady in front of me was taking for ever and I was thinking "oh screw it" and I ran and grabbed a bottle...I felt guilty for even buying it....then I went home and fed the kids and ate and went to my son's school function..got home got my little one in bed did 3 loads of laundry and the wine was in my head almost the whole time. Once I sat down I got back up and searched for another wine glass and had 1 glass and added some ice to it then another and another then of course I made bad eating choices and made a slice of pizza and then chocolate....needless to say GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY my 3 best friends!!!

I keep telling myself today is a new day....fresh start....get that dirty AL bitch out of your life...FOREVER!!!!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me?

Hi, Honeysoup

I wrote this before to you so I'll be brief --- when the demon was tormenting me during the first few days of quitting, I got on MWO and read and read and when I thought I might be able to contribute, posted. I was on here for hours but better that than hours drinking wine solo or surreptitiously, as would have been the case. The demonic part seems to be past but now I get on here when down, worried, or just wondering how the people I have so quickly grown to care about are doing.

Also, I am avoiding those 'quick runs' to the store for just a few items that really are being bought to deflect attention from the Main Purchase, a bottle of wine. Perhaps make-up, multi vitamins, and candy don't merit a special trip to CVS.

[paulywogg]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

theres nothing wrong with you honey,ive been in that same mindset too,its like you try to distract yourself with housework or a movie,coming on here,but alcohol is on your mind the whole time,ive had my husband be talking to me,but in my head im thinking should i or shouldnt i drink,i dont hear a damn word hes saying! so the only thing wrong with us is addiction,maybe habit

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Thank you guys

[FallenAngel]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

hi HoneySoup
From reading your posts, this is what I picture going on up in your head: :teeter:

Looks like you have a battle between doing all the responsible things in life & the little internal brat that wants, wants, wants. Could it be that you have so many responsibilities in your life that you feel you need some kind of reward.... and alcohol is one of them??

Here's an excerpt from something I posted over on the Encouragement thread today:
"We need to rescue and nurture and Love our inner children - and STOP them from controlling our lives. STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control."

If you're relying on willpower, that will only work for a short time... kind of like adrenaline. What we need to do, is work on the underlying cause. Once we address that, the symptoms (such as alcohol abuse) can be dealt with more effectively.

It's tough to quit drinking, we need to have all the voices up in our head on our side willing to fight the battle with us.

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

Wow, did you read me like my guardian angel. I like your quote...I'm going to put that on my phone to look at over and over.
thank you :'(

[FallenAngel]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

You might like to read that post. Here's a link to it:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1459081

Be good to yourself today... and have a plan in place for tonight.

[Honeysoup]

Well, Im back again...sigh...

That is great...thank you!