This is almost getting emabarrassing!

[cathysgottastop]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

I feel like crap I look like crap I act like crap. Its not us

[lizker]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

Its all part of the journey back Honey. I personally think these
Falls made me strong. Whatever the enemy has used this time
he sure enough won't successed next because you will be wary
of it.

[jenniech]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

WOW
I am serious, you could easily be ME. I did the SAME EXACT things. Like, when you stood in line without the booze and then said screw it because of some stupid excuse. That was SO ME. Also, you list is my list too! Anyway, I have found that the more times I quit the stronger I feel .... I guess because I am banking away a lot of references and sober experiences. I think the MOST important thing for you right now is to stop drinking, right? So, I suggest eating as a substitute. I have the same weight concerns but I know based on past relapses that if I "diet" and count calories while at the same time stop drinking, I always fail. So, I am nourishing myself and not thinking about calories....I figure that taking the wine away from my diet will surely equal lost pounds!! (day 13 and I am 6 lbs. lighter) But just be careful WHAT you eat. I wouldn't recommend eating processed foods as they are loaded with bad chemicals that are really bad for you.... cocoa almonds and an orange is perfect. My favorite is dark chocolate covered almonds mixed with plain almonds. I eat lots of those at certain times during the day and they do quell any desire to drink and I am still losing weight!!
Oh, and forget about being embarrassed. We all did the same exact thing.....:l

[Kradle123]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

jenniech;1459647 wrote:

Anyway, I have found that the more times I quit the stronger I feel .... I guess because I am banking away a lot of references and sober experiences. ..:l

I love this insight, Jennie. Every time I slip I just get up and I do feel stronger...couldn't figure it out until you post.

:thanks:
:l

[Struggles 106]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

Hey Honey

I know what you mean. To me it's like once you pick up the bottle, you just go on autopilot and proceed, and don't allow rational thoughts to intrude. It's like a runaway sequence of events that occur after the one decision to pick it up. Or to pour it if it's already around, or whatever that first step is.

I just don't go there-that far. I find that I have have to nip it right away as soon as the thought enters my mind. If I let it get a grip it's too late. The following actions seem to be inevitable.

[FallenAngel]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

Honeysoup;1459108 wrote: Ok, so I was on the fence yesterday again ......

....I don't know what the hell is wrong with me?

Hello again Honey,
I replied to you on your other thread yesterday, but as I keep seeing the title of your thread here, something keeps leaping out at me, and I wanted to make a comment. Please don't take this the wrong way, but when I read:
"This is almost getting embarrassing"... two words stand out for me. The "almost" and "getting".
Is this 'almost getting embarrassing', or 'is embarrassing' ??
When you say 'almost getting' it sounds like you ARE on the fence, and that you are giving yourself lots of wiggle room & that things aren't that bad. But from reading your list of reasons not to drink, I think you are quite aware of how bad things get when you drink. Doesn't sound like you like yourself & your actions too much when you do drink. I know I never liked myself.

If you want to make a change, it's going to take 100% commitment on your part.
As the old saying goes..."you can't have your cake & eat it too". We wish we could, but it doesn't work that way.

To quote from the other thread:
"STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control."
So with that in mind...
get off the fence girl & DRIVE! :l

[Honeysoup]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

First of all, thank all of you for not giving up on me. Second of all, your comments do mean do much to me. I'm so thankful for this site.

I'm sad to say I didn't make it through the weekend. Friday, I made it but Saturday and Sunday failed. Today is day 2 again @@...but on a good note I did call my Dr. yesterday to see if she would prescribe me Antibuse. That way it will make me sick if I drink. I tried Campral and it does work for a while but the brain wants what it wants and unfortunately for me it's alcohol.

This disease is awful, all I can do is keep getting up after I fall and hope that today is the first day for the rest of my life AF! I need a babysitter!!!

Fallen Angel - my title "This is almost getting embarrassing" was more of a sarcastic way of saying it IS EMBARRASSING...I know it is and mostly only I can control that. I am fully aware of it that, but I don't want to be afraid to come here and tell my story. I am so happy you have made it 5 years! I on the other hand am still having that internal struggle. I do feel like 2 different people and maybe I am and if murder was legal I would kill off the other me. Until then I just have to wake up everyday and be strong through each day to not drink. I do want it...especially when I wake up and feel like crap and forget things I watched or did or whatever... Thank you for letting me know I need to be 100% committed and today I am...but when that devil starts dancing...well, you know that outcome.

[Patrick]

This is almost getting emabarrassing!

Honeysoup;1461519 wrote: .but when that devil starts dancing...well, you know that outcome.

Hi Honeysoup,the devil dances for us all and that quote sounds like you have given in already.You dont have to dance you know,keeping the theme going,if some guy in a club who looked like a serial killer came up and asked you to dance would you feel like you had to?Of course not .You would choose to stay in your seat because you felt he was dangerous to you and avoid him like the plague.When the devil starts dancing, CHOOSE not to dance.Stay in you seat and protect yourself.You sound like the sort of person who is determined to get AF no matter what so spare yourself the multiple day ones followed by the inevitable guilt and shame and do it NOW.You have it in you.