Hi. I'm new and would like to try to either drink less or give up but my husband loves drinking so much that I don't like to disappoint him! This sounds like I'm sneakily blaming him for my own problems and I probably am...how do other people manage to control their consumption when their partners are always drunk? Any advice very gratefully received...
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How to go it alone?
Welcome to the forums
Hmmm it will be a long road. But you have to love yourself and your own health more then you disappoint your husband.
If your husband loved underage women would you support him and not like to disappoint him?
It seems you feel deep down you know you have a problem and am looking for a way out?
Well dont on taking the first step, I look forward to following your thoughts and your journey.If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. -
How to go it alone?
Hahaha, you've got me sussed Martye! I love that analogy you made. You're right, of course. I'm 53 this year so I really have to get a grip - thank you so much for replying xComment
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How to go it alone?
welcome southhampton, I have a hubby that drinks, but I desided to drink tea instead, works for me, I have asked him to cut it down, he doesn't have a problem like I do, and I don't mind if if he does drink, except on Saturday nights, thats my weakness for some reason. Its hard to do but you can do it!
KdogReflect upon your present blessingings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have someComment
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How to go it alone?
Thanks all, for the lovely welcome. I'll give cutting down my best shot first and see what happens but I have a horrible feeling my honeymoon with alcohol might be over. I'm fed up with worrying what I might have said to offend someone - and waking up in my clothes!!Comment
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How to go it alone?
From the limited info it seems you have to stop all together although if you want to go down the moderation track lets put some plans in place. How do you plan to moderate?Southampton Woman;1460151 wrote: Thanks all, for the lovely welcome. I'll give cutting down my best shot first and see what happens but I have a horrible feeling my honeymoon with alcohol might be over. I'm fed up with worrying what I might have said to offend someone - and waking up in my clothes!!
Have you been to see your doc to discuss your concerns?If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.Comment
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How to go it alone?
No I was planning on making an appointment tomorrow - honest!
So far my plan is just - err...I don't know! I have no idea! DamnComment
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How to go it alone?
LOL love it you remind me of myself when I was thinking about quittingSouthampton Woman;1460156 wrote: No I was planning on making an appointment tomorrow - honest!
So far my plan is just - err...I don't know! I have no idea! Damn
When you meet with your doc be 100% honest on what you drink. May be a good idea to get a blood test done as well, this may motivate you to suit
Looks like SH Women has some thinking to do :lIf drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.Comment
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How to go it alone?
Hi SW
Welcome! Here's a link to a post about making a plan:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...one-68554.html
Good luck!AF since 6JUN2012Comment
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How to go it alone?
HI SW
Based on what you wrote it sounds like it is a good idea to get alcohol out of your life.
I cannot comment on moderation,except to say that it never ever worked for me. I am one of those who will eventually have 10 or 12 instead of one or two. Oh yeah it may work for a while but it leads down that same road. To drunkenness and stupid behavior, shame,regret,guilt and all the horrible stuff that simply becomes just not worth it.
It would be a big change in your life is you have a drinking spouse. Your definition of fun will change. His drinking will have to become secondary to your determination to make your own life better. I would imagine that it would be easier for you if he didn't drink, but even then it isn't easy. But anyone here will tell you it is HUGELY better.
And the freedom is cumulative--as days add up you see more and more how good life can be. I doubted this early on; I cried a lot and feared that I could never do it. Maybe you are the same way.
You have found a place for terrific support here and I wish you wellComment
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How to go it alone?
Hello - I'm fairly new here and like many before me the only way I could have one or two if it was bottles! and even that wouldn't be enough. Good luck with doctor visit and starting on this, it does get easier -honest
AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:Comment
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How to go it alone?
Hi Southampton Women
Im very near you in Lymington :0) welcome. It is difficult when people in your lfe like drinking, my hubby likes a drink but he only drinks a couple of beers at home and then socially and has never had any of the problems that i have with alcohol, so he is more than happy for me not to drink. if i do drink he is fine but worries when i use it for anxiety depression etc.
you definatley need to decide whether you are quitting or moderating. but a good long period of sobriety will does none of us any harm ;0)
youve come to the right place :welcome:AF since 2nd Oct 2012
Day by day
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How to go it alone?
Also going it alone
Hello, SW! I'm new, too, and also going it alone. On Tuesday, I'll mark 30 days AF (alcohol free), after a couple of years trying to moderate (it wasn't). I recently told two close family members about my success, but their reactions were mixed. Just as a drastic weight loss can be threatening to a spouse, so can a change in a long-standing habit such as drinking.
Best wishes to you, and a warm welcome! There are lots of friendly, helpful folks on these boards, and I have learned much from them.
friedabee>>Free to BeFriedabee is "free to be!"Comment
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How to go it alone?
Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. I seem to be stuck in a self pity and self loathing thing at the moment and have lost my sense of humour so it might be best if I stay away for a bit!Comment
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How to go it alone?
Hi SW,
Just reading your posts. If you choose to stay away that's ok but I can pretty much guarantee your situation wont improve. You definitely don't need a sense of humor to hang out here and you don't have to post...no mandate yet! But please stay close and read read read
Thinking of you,
:lOn My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
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