Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

    Quick Check In

    Hi 4thekids, nice to hear from you and well done on your 21 days AF, that's fantastic news! Needless to say you must be feeling very proud of yourself, and rightly so!

    Thanks so very much for your kind words, they are much appreciated! I'm taking it nice and slow, avoiding temptation, and lo and behold I'm still managing to stay AF, and loving it!

    Thinking of you all and hope that all is well with everyone.

    Night Night

    Snowflake
    AF Day 28
    If you don't know where you are going,
    you'll end up someplace else.

    Comment


      Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

      Hi all, back from a brief holiday. Now working from home. Back on the road this weekend.

      Snowflake -- you are doing fantastic and 4theKids congrats on 21 days. I broke down over the weekend and had wine with dinner with friends. Didn't get drunk or fall asleep on the couch but am not kidding myself, it is only a matter of time before I would be back to my old habits.

      The good news is I have had more AF days in the past four weeks than I had in the previous 2 months and I am working toward my goal of 30 consecutive AF days.

      You all inspire me. Will keep posting of my progress.
      Free at Last
      "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

      Highly recommend this video
      http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

      July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

      Comment


        Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

        Feeling quite discouraged with myself and know that is not helping my quit. I was really doing well last month. .. I had 21/28 sober days in feb ..... But I have slipped back into old patterns .... So, I am on day 1 again .... I like this thread bc it is a little easier to follow than the nest which moves FAST lately and rightly so since they are doing great work! Also proud of y'all here getting some good AF days ...

        I've never really written my story. I've been a binge drinker since the day I started at 14... My drinking did t really crank up til 21 years old, but has been a problem my whole life. I have RARELY stopped at 1 or 2... I can drink beer (MDOC) faster than I can drink water .... I read Snow how you would never drink beer Lu liquor ..... I'm like that about wine and liquor .... Doesn't tempt me at all !! Also never drink in morning and careful to not drive, etc drunk ..... But at home I get buzzed or drunk from about 5-10, then go to bed and wake up w sweats, panic and headache worried if husband or kids noticed!!!!! No energy in day, tired and fat and depressed.....
        I didn't even feel that great drinking I just feel compelled to continue pouring them down .... ARGH !!!!!
        So I'm frustrated but I can't quit quitting ....

        Comment


          Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

          NoSugar;1473876 wrote: Hi Snowflake,

          You wrote this to me last weekend - thank you. And what you say is True. Happily, I think I am gaining some understanding of who I am and why I am and I believe that pretty soon, I am going to be fine with myself as IS. I see glimpses of that acceptance. And there are such good models and mentors on MWO! I see people who are where I want to be. Not despising myself every morning because of drinking too much the night before is key to all of this. Now i am learning to let go of all the whys, what ifs, and regrets.

          Your determined path is this thread is a marvel to behold! Other than not yet seeing this absolutely as a forever- thing, you don't seem to be letting anything deter you from living an AF life. You must have been, like i was in January, at that point of being Done. And you seem to be loving your life now! I am so happy for you.

          As I told OneRedShoe in a post in the nest awhile ago, I hope you and I also can be AF MWO friends for a long, long time.

          Love, NS
          Dear NoSugar

          Thank you so much for your kind mail and please forgive me for taking so long to reply, I was pretty busy at the weekend, and here we are Monday has sprung upon us already!

          I so agree with everything you say ? and not despising ourselves every morning because of the overdrinking the night before is definitely a great start. There is so much wonderful information and knowledge that is shared by the community here that it will take me forever to absorb it all. I am so glad that you are striving forward one day at a time and finding happiness within yourself, and at the same time always lending a helping hand to other members of this community in their daily struggles, you really are such an asset to MWO, and much appreciated by all.

          Yes, I have been on a determined path on this thread ? I started it off, to meet some buddies so that we could accompany each other to get through the days AF and although the NN is absolutely amazing and I do read it every day to learn from it, I just felt it was a little bit overwhelming for me at the time. Sometimes, I feel lonely on this thread though and I feel that I?m sort of talking to myself, but we will see how it goes, ODAT for the thread as well.

          I am totally enjoying being AF, obviously my family as well, and I hate to look back ? but?.. at the back of my mind ? I would like one day to attempt to manage my drinking, and if not, I will know as you and many others that the only way forward is to stay permanent AF.

          Yes, NoSugar, I would love to be MWO AF Friends also, I feel very touched that you should ask me.

          Have a lovely day and wishing you all the best

          Love Snow X
          If you don't know where you are going,
          you'll end up someplace else.

          Comment


            Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

            HI TO ALL

            HI free at last - Nice to hear from you and although you drank on the weekend at least you didn?t get drunk, but if you find yourself slipping in that direction again ? it would be a good thing to post every day, if you can, just so you feel accountable. It?s great that you have had more AF days in the past 4 weeks than the previous two months ? that?s encouraging. But you say that you would like to do 30 days AF ? the best way (in my opinion), is to be unsociable ? that?s how it is for me ? but everyone is different ? but you should try to put temptation out of your way at least for the first 30 days, or if you can?t be unsociable, please have Plan ? there are loads of them on the various threads. Please check in again and let us know how you are doing and sending lots of good wishes your way.

            Welcome Icanwithoutacan - Please don?t be discouraged, try again today as Day 1 ? isn?t it ironic that we like different things ? I wouldn?t even think about drinking a beer and you wouldn?t think about drinking wine! Anyway, I'm sure you know that it's the AL that is making you tired, fat and depressed! Since I stopped the AL and started eating healthily (along with the Al came the snacks and goodies even though I wasn 't hungry) I have lost 7 kgs in 4 weeks and the panic attacks, hot flushes, depression all lifts once the Al is out of your system. Why don?t you try especially hard tonight not to drink ? you have to get the first day over and done with, it?s all a habit, of course it is hard, but you will see ? it is worth it the next day when you waken in the morning - but you know all that already! So instead of reaching for the beer ? make yourself a cup of tea and treat yourself with a cookie to go along with it.

            To make it even easier ? why don?t you check in tomorrow to tell us that you have managed Day 1 AF ? you have done it before 21/28 days is great ? so you can do it again!

            Wishing you lots of courage ? YOU CAN DO IT!

            Take Care All

            Snowflake
            AF Day 29
            If you don't know where you are going,
            you'll end up someplace else.

            Comment


              Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

              Dear Snowflake,
              You really are amazing the way you have added the days up. And, you are so encouraging to all of us on this link. And the weight loss is fantastic. I have gained 12 kg from wine consumption in the last 2 years and have to lose this weight. Am hoping if I can get to 30 consecutive days and drop half the weight, I will be motivated to keep going. It seems as if it was not a problem for you to stop -- maybe just the one weekend you spent alone while your family went a way. Was this really the case? Did you take the supplements?

              I think the fact that I feel I have to check in (and told myself I would not lie about my abstinence or lack thereof) will be helpful. Not socializing is not much of an option, considering my job, but I managed to not drink for 9 consecutive days during daily temptation and have a plan for tonight.

              So, thanks for starting this thread and continuing to post your progress.
              Free at Last
              "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

              Highly recommend this video
              http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

              July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

              Comment


                Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                Well Done Free

                Thanks for your very kind words Free!

                No supplements ? just no drinking! It really hasn?t been a problem for me to stop, no ? don?t ask me how or why ? I really can?t answer that. When I started, I never thought I could get through Day 1! But, I really had to stop, my addiction was ridiculous and had been for a long, long, long time ? I would even open the wine in the evening when I didn?t really want any (not often) - having said that, I haven?t stopped forever ? I still want to try to moderate at one point and if it works it works and if not at least I will know. Yes, the weekend I was on my own ? I had the thoughts ? but quickly put them aside, and as always really appreciated it in the morning upon waking. But you know sometimes, I feel that I could cry if I imagine that I can?t have a drink of wine again ? I would love to be able to moderate, but that is not for now that is for later?.. For me, your 9 consecutive AF days during daily temptation deserves a gold medal ? much more than my 29 days, as I really haven?t had temptation face me ? I have totally avoided it by cancelling anything that was planned or by turning down any offers put to me ? sad ? but that?s how it is for me. Nine consecutive days with temptation I can?t stress how utterly amazing that is ? well, well done!

                Yes, it would be pointless to lie about abstinence or lack of ? that would totally be defeating the purpose of checking in every day ? we could all lie ? but then what?s the point ? you may as well not check in (if you see what I mean).

                Once you get into a non-drinking pattern and eat sensibly ? the weight should start coming off ? my face was totally bloated with the wine ? that?s all gone now, thank goodness.

                Got to run, just wanted to acknowledge your mail quickly!

                All the best for tonight ? Stick to your Plan ? you can do it!

                Snow
                If you don't know where you are going,
                you'll end up someplace else.

                Comment


                  Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                  Icanwithoutacan;1476004 wrote: Feeling quite discouraged with myself and know that is not helping my quit. I was really doing well last month. .. I had 21/28 sober days in feb ..... But I have slipped back into old patterns .... So, I am on day 1 again .... I like this thread bc it is a little easier to follow than the nest which moves FAST lately and rightly so since they are doing great work! Also proud of y'all here getting some good AF days ...

                  I've never really written my story. I've been a binge drinker since the day I started at 14... My drinking did t really crank up til 21 years old, but has been a problem my whole life. I have RARELY stopped at 1 or 2... I can drink beer (MDOC) faster than I can drink water .... I read Snow how you would never drink beer Lu liquor ..... I'm like that about wine and liquor .... Doesn't tempt me at all !! Also never drink in morning and careful to not drive, etc drunk ..... But at home I get buzzed or drunk from about 5-10, then go to bed and wake up w sweats, panic and headache worried if husband or kids noticed!!!!! No energy in day, tired and fat and depressed.....
                  I didn't even feel that great drinking I just feel compelled to continue pouring them down .... ARGH !!!!!
                  So I'm frustrated but I can't quit quitting ....

                  Hi, ICan

                  I like this thread, also, and the people on it (Hi, guys!! ).

                  I obviously am no expert but am for the first time having success. When you were doing well last month, was it during the time you were posting regularly? I remember that you and I were often on in the NN at the same time. I think posting a lot, opening yourself up (and facing what you see!!), and being open to what others write really helps. I've been reading threads by successful, long-term abstainers and I want to be JUST LIKE THEM. It is very motivating.

                  I think there is a moment at which you finally just get sick of your life and have
                  to make a change. I wrote about my 'moment' on 1/23/13 in this thread and then re-posted it yesterday in the NN. It took me numerous failures to finally just Stop It. But I learned my limits by failing repeatedly. I finally realized I could not do it alone. I know that lurking here, reading, reading, reading... sort of "prepped' me to flip that switch in my brain. I tried to force it so many times but just couldn't.

                  Those 'clicks' are so tough to achieve so that motivates me not to risk going backwards.

                  Anyway, if the NN seems too big, just post here. A LOT! There is infinite space in the ether!!! We will read what you write and maybe it will help you to know we are doing that.
                  When I have something that I think my be useful to you, I'll respond but I think the acts of feeling, thinking, typing, and posting, even if no one answers, are critical.

                  Make a straightforward promise to yourself (or if you don't think you are accountable to yourself yet, promise us, who care about you) that you will come here and post what you are about to do and why before you 'continue pouring them down '.

                  Just that little thing pause and accountability may help you break the pattern.

                  I hope so! I'm looking forward to celebrating your AF days with you here as you chalk them up one by one.

                  YOU CAN, I can!

                  Comment


                    Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                    Dear I Can, we are both back to day 1 so let's keep coming up with a plan and posting. I have been on the MWO website for a couple of hours now (can't get motivated to work from home today) and read Planet Janet's 30 day challenge. She started with a 30 day goal and is now over 311 days. From what I can tell, the people who have been able to go a long time without AL have the following items in common: 1) they post almost daily; 2) they try to connect with a couple of buddies; 3) they drink copious amounts of water, tea, juice; 4) they have a plan for getting past the difficult hours; 5) they don't give in to cravings. 6) eventually the days add up and it seems a little easier for them.

                    Snowflake, thanks for the kind words about my 9 days with all the temptations. My issue is coming to terms with not drinking wine ever again. I have tried to moderate and it becomes harder after each period of abstinence. It's like I am making up for lost drinking time. So, I know it has to be all or nothing -- that's my personality. I want to be free at last, which is why I chose my name three years ago.

                    No Sugar, I loved your graduate thesis analogy to how we try to moderate/stop drinking.

                    I Can, we can do this. I want to look at this thread six months from now and see how far we all have come.

                    Best wishes to everyone.
                    Free at Last
                    "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                    Highly recommend this video
                    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                    July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                    Comment


                      Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                      Hi Free.....my story is similar to yours...and so is my witching hour. (Between 5 and 7). I did 30 days in January and have had the odd days of having wine (last being Saturday night with friends at dinner). I am pleased I didn't drink to excess like I normally did, so committing to being AF for most of the time has been successful for me, but I am very conscious of it leading back to where I was. For that reason I would like to have at least another good run at being AF.

                      Snowflake, I enjoy this thread too, as I can't keep up with NN. (Actually have a hard time with this one, as I don't get that much time to check in and read a lot of posts).
                      NoSugar....you and snowflake are leading the way on this ....thanks for your encouragement.
                      ICan.....yes, you can too. I want to be more like my hubby, who is very at ease with ordering just a Coke even when everyone else is drinking ......and because he always did, I never had to be the DD when we were out......and I took full advantage of that. Well, not anymore! I have gotten used to ordering a cranberry and soda or tonic and lime and want to make that my habit.

                      I will try and check in regularly here as well to make me more accountable. I know it helps.
                      Sorry for rambling!

                      Comment


                        Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                        Thanks, everyone. Today has been a MWO marathon. Been reading people's stories for several hours (cannot get motivated to work from home today!) and now must walk the dog and think about doing some work. The people who have been AF for several years and still post to encourage us beginners are amazing. Thank you!

                        Snowflake --Perhaps in time, we will both stop "grieving" the glass of red wine because I know moderation is not an option for me. I have to hope it will stop being about NOT drinking and become a way of living. I read that in making any new lifestyle change, think in terms of three intentions: 1) I WILL (e.g. order a glass of water with my meal); 2) I WON'T (e.g. order wine); and 3) I WANT (e.g. to be free at last.)

                        New Day, great to hear from you and appreciate your willingness to check in here. I, too, find the NN a little hard to keep up with.

                        Ok, the dog is crossing his legs.
                        Free at Last
                        "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                        Highly recommend this video
                        http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                        July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                        Comment


                          Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                          free at last;1476056 wrote: . My issue is coming to terms with not drinking wine ever again. I have tried to moderate and it becomes harder after each period of abstinence. It's like I am making up for lost drinking time. So, I know it has to be all or nothing -- that's my personality. I want to be free at last, which is why I chose my name three years ago.

                          .

                          Hi Free,

                          I think giving up the moderation idea is another thing that can't be forced
                          . That idea freaked me out when I started all this and I am pretty sure my original general plan was to 'get better' and then be a 'normal' drinker. I have never been close to any one who is AL-addicted (other than me!) so really didn't know much about what was going to be involved.

                          Anyway, so much stuff started coming up in my head the more days I was AF, I pretty much lost sight of whatever plan I had had and tried to just keep it together day by day. Reading and posting and reading and... Ad infinitum! One day it just occurred to me that I wasn't going to drink again. That doesn't even make me sad now, much less freak me out. It is more of a relief at being done with that battle.

                          So, maybe it is best to not think about/plan for that now ( or else get yourself so upset about others things you don't have time to think about it :H ). There is enough to think about and do today, right?

                          Comment


                            Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                            Getting more MWO time this afternoon......dropped off grandson at the home daycare for the afternoon, only to have to come and babysit my 92 year old father-in-law while MIL has been taken to her eye doctor appt. At least all he is doing right now is sleeping. Mostly because he was up during the night....he took his pants off and was making a "speech" in the middle of the night in the living room! Old guy can't be left alone....never know what he's going to do next! Old age frightens me when I see what it does to some people!
                            So here I am reading through a bunch of threads.

                            NoSugar.....I hope it happens to me the way it happened to you, that one day it will just "click". In the meantime, I feel like I've at least broken the daily drinking cycle and feel just fine about staying AF for stretches. That never happened before.

                            Comment


                              Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                              Hi No Sugar,
                              Thanks for the good words on not forcing moderation. Right now, I am focused on getting through this evening. I will always be grateful to you for telling me to pour the wine down the sink. None in the apartment, took no money with me when I walked the dog. Will be exercising soon.

                              Hey snowflake -- tomorrow is 30 days for you. We are all cheering for you!
                              Free at Last
                              "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                              Highly recommend this video
                              http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                              July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                              Comment


                                Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                                Day 1

                                I just read the posts that could have been written by me. I drank 3 bottles of wine last night. I did not go to work today. I've been avoid calls from my husband - who is away and does not know. I'm disappointed to say the least. I let myself down again. Did I learn anything? probably not. Hopefully racking up more evidence to convince me that I cannot drink. I'm going to make myself eat something and come back and read posts. Not sure where to start - nothing interests me other than sleeping right now.
                                10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

                                Comment

                                Working...