Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #61
    Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

    Sober22113;1466800 wrote: Hi All,

    This is day 1 for me. I chose my username as sober22113 because I am forcing myself to try to live up to my sobriety date of Feb 21, 2013! Today!

    Snowflake....your lifestyle is identical to mine. I am a mom of 4 beautiful children, have a wonderful and supportive husband and work full time as a functional alcoholic. I stumbled upon this forum, desperate to put an end to my daily drinking. I start drinking after work, while I cook dinner or after a workout at the gym and don't stop until 10 or 11 p.m. I've been having a difficult time staying asleep at night and once I wake up, I toss and turn until its time to get up for work. I feel groggy in the morning and each morning I say "no more", then 5:00 pm rolls around and I'm back at the liquor store buying that bottle of wine.

    I am a woman who loves to work out and eat healthy, yet I put this toxin in my body daily. Why? I have gained 20 lbs over the last couple of years and I know it's from the wine.

    I grew up in a dysfunctional family and my parents have/had addictive personalities. My oldest daughter has given me many challenges and stress and I turned to drinking to escape my stress, disappointments and pain. But that can no longer be my excuse to drink.

    I want desperately for my children to not see me with a wine glass in my hand every day. I want to successfully break the cycle. So here is to day 1!
    Welcome - clever name that suggests great determination! You have come to a wonderful, supportive place to get this done. Have you visited the Newbies Nest and toolbox ? Several of us who are fairly new "hang out" in the nest supporting one another and getting great advice from people who are farther along at various stages of living an alcohol-free (AF) life.
    If you read back a few weeks, you will become familiar with the characters there.

    You can do this and the people here will help you. ( you need to do it if for no other vey important reason, it probably would be such a hassle to change your username! ).

    Nice to meet you! -NS

    Comment


      #62
      Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

      A quick Check-In

      HI ALL

      This is just an extremely quick check in to say a big welcome to Sober22113 and thank you so much NoSugar for replying with first class advice.

      I am really running around tonight so no time to stop, sorry, all fine here and another AF day to add to my belt ? YAY.

      Hope all is well with everyone and look forward to talking soon.

      Take Care

      Snowflake
      AF - Day 12
      If you don't know where you are going,
      you'll end up someplace else.

      Comment


        #63
        Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

        Hi All, :new:

        This is day 2 for me. I chose my username as sober22113 because I am forcing myself to try to live up to my sobriety date of Feb 21, 2013! Yesterday!

        Snowflake....your lifestyle is identical to mine. I am a mom of 4 beautiful children, have a wonderful and supportive husband and work full time as a functional alcoholic. I stumbled upon this forum, desperate to put an end to my daily drinking. I start drinking after work, while I cook dinner or after a workout at the gym and don't stop until 10 or 11 p.m. I've been having a difficult time staying asleep at night and once I wake up, I toss and turn until its time to get up for work. I feel groggy in the morning and each morning I say "no more", then 5:00 pm rolls around and I'm back at the liquor store buying that bottle of wine.

        I am a woman who loves to work out and eat healthy, yet I put this toxin in my body daily. Why? I have gained 20 lbs over the last couple of years and I know it's from the wine.

        I grew up in a dysfunctional family and my parents have/had addictive personalities. My oldest daughter has given me many challenges and stress and I turned to drinking to escape my stress, disappointments and pain. But that can no longer be my excuse to drink.

        I want desperately for my children to not see me with a wine glass in my hand every day. I want to successfully break the cycle, however, It's 4:37 on Friday night and all I want to do is have a glass of wine. It's going to be really difficult to fight the urge. I am planning on going to the gym to take a spin class and hopefully that will kill my urge. So here is to day 2!

        Comment


          #64
          Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

          Hi, Sober

          See my reply a couple above. If you come over to the Newbies Nest, there are people online day and night (since this is a global forum) who would love to meet you.

          NS

          Comment


            #65
            Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

            Just checking in with the gang to let you know I had another AF day. Now on to Day 3. Sending my encouragement to all -- this is a tough go, but we have support from each other.
            Free at Last
            "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

            Highly recommend this video
            http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

            July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

            Comment


              #66
              Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

              Hi Sober22113: I am starting to think it is a trend that all of us moms of 4 may try to over achieve in every way...including drinking wine while cooking elaborate meals to make up for the fact that we are hiding behind the stove to drink! A lot of mouths to feed, right!? It really is a good excuse and I can see why we all fall for it.

              Kuya, Kradle123, Snowflake - all of your support and advice has lead me to my 6 day Af free, today. I have to say that I passed two steep challenges. On Thursday night, I brought my kids to see my mother (she lives in a different state) for the night and somehow was able to avoid drinking while she drank over a bottle of wine herself. And yesterday, Friday, I withstood drinking with my husband....our usual Friday night pattern. We watched Argo instead. Great movie by the way! Oh, he drank...but it didn't really appeal to me.

              I think what has helped so far honestly, I know this sounds crazy, is eating correctly and a lot. I never was one to really want to drink after a big meal...didn't have room for it. By eating correctly and using Kudzu and taking a multi vitamin, it seems to have stopped the cravings for me. Proof is in the avoidance of two big danger zones...regularly my undoing!

              I have to say, there have not been many recent times, other than while pregnant, of course, that I did not drink for 5 days straight, did not drink with my mother (which usually ends up with us in an argument of some sort), and did not drink with my husband. HURRAH! I feel great and very empowered by this board.

              I know that this is only the beginning. The binge cycle that I manifested is sure to rear its ugly head soon saying "you can drink a little...see you can handle it" "just have 2 glasses". I need to remember how awful two bottles feels because that is what it will be. Two glasses very quickly becomes two bottles...why not, right?!

              I am SO happy to have another mom here, especially a mom of 4, hence my user name...to try and remind me why I am really stopping! Sober22113, please check in and let us know how you did last night. I too know that Fridays can be the worst! You feel as though you've earned it for making it through the week.

              Hope everyone is well and staying out of trouble!

              4thekids
              4the kids:l

              Comment


                #67
                Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                HI TO ALL

                HI ALL

                Free At Last – thanks for checking in and well, well, done on your day 3 – Congratulations!

                Patrice - Hope you are having a good weekend, and that all is OK.

                Sober22113 – I see you have found the Newbies Nest, it’s a fantastic place and I also see that this is Day 3 for you – Well Done!

                Like you, I had a dysfunctional upbringing – well, a very abusive alcoholic father – who couldn’t get to work as he always so drunk, - my mother on the other hand was a beautiful, kind, easygoing woman – never touched alcohol at all – but I was always so bitter with her for staying with him and putting us all through a constant nightmare,– but she always said that she had “made her bed so she had to lie in it” an old fashioned saying – and in that day and age that's what many women did - she had nowhere to go, so she stayed and suffered in silence along with us kids – I still have horrific nightmares, as do my siblings.

                So…. I never thought I would ever drink, not after what I had been brought up with – but alas over the years I started to drink and now it is out of hand (has been for many, many years) the difference being from “him” (=Father, can’t say the word as he wasn’t) is that I function, go to work, feed, clothe, educate my family, am not abusive, etc. etc., my huge problem is.. that I just can’t stop once I start and that means, I feel great one minute and then – blackout - I fall asleep/pass out every evening (I must say after everyone had been fed and the kitchen had been cleaned up) then waken up in the morning, feeling rotten, trying to piece the night before together and telling myself not tonight, but of course I continued until 13 days ago.

                4mykids – Congrats. on Day 6 AF – Well Done! - Yes, I know the feeling, for me my downfall always started in the kitchen preparing very elaborate meals for the family, they all loved it (the delicious 3-course meals - not my drinking) and I loved my time in the kitchen with my favourite potion - the stress after a day at work, shopping, picking up the kids, etc. etc. well, it all got better after I popped open my favourite potion. Anyway, wind on 13 days and I'm still feeding the family well, but not so fancy, and I'm spending much less time in the kitchen, with my lemon flavoured water, and still managing to deal with the stress - potion free!

                Anyway, congratulations on passing two very steep challenges – I must say you have every right to be proud of yourself – well done – I really don’t know if I could have done what you have just achieved. I really haven’t challenged myself properly yet and am plodding along safely for the moment. It’s a pity your husband won’t join you at least for a bit – but it looks as if you are doing great anyways – so yes, great job!

                Like you, I didn’t drink whilst pregnant, but, apart from that, I really can’t remember (apart from a stint in 2007 – which was amazing), when I didn’t drink and of course it has accumulated slowly but surely over time.

                I even had treatment for cancer and lo and behold I managed to drink all the way through that also – how stupid I was!

                I am taking it one day at a time for the moment, I also want to lose all the weight that came with the drinking and it is coming off slowly, and I am starting to feel much better – Just hearing the kids say – “Thanks for not drinking Mum” makes me even more determined. I was never nasty to my kids but I did drink too much (to deal with the stress I told them) every night and pass out on the couch each evening and waken up not remembering my hubby putting the kids to bed and not saying goodnight to them – what a waste of all those years.

                Anyway, there is lots more to say but that’s enough for now.

                Last but not least – it is so nice going to the bottle bank every week with 14 water bottles instead of 14 wine bottles.:H

                Take Care of yourselves – strength to all and speak tomorrow

                Snowflake
                AF - Day 13
                If you don't know where you are going,
                you'll end up someplace else.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                  Snowflake: Thank you for sharing some of your story with us, me, especially. Your story really challenges me to stop my selfish behavior before it becomes too disruptive to the family. I very easily could and would in the not so far removed future find myself passed out on a couch or who knows, over a toilet bowel, or God forbid something even worse.

                  You should be so proud that you are attempting something that your father never had the courage to attempt. You are showing SO much love for your family in doing this and they know that. They truly know that. Rather than thinking backwards (other than to summon strength for the present) realize how lucky you are that you have today to change it. And you have taken some major steps.

                  The point is, even if all of us haven't gotten to the same lows, we all know we could get there- in a hurry. I have done/drank through my fair share of stupid antics and always worry that one is going to really hurt my family. I am so thankful that nothing has happened so far. By sharing here, it helps all of us learn, grow and reach within ourselves to summon the strength to battle this thing.

                  I am hopeful that by not drinking, my husband will slowly jump on board. I don't need him not to drink, in fact, I don't think that would help, really. I just think that we both can grow from my decision.

                  Good luck to all this Saturday night! Another prime drinking night, if we were drinking. Let's just get through this weekend all.

                  4thekids
                  4the kids:l

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                    Thanks to all for your great posts today -- a great deal of encouragement all around. Tonight is day six in a hotel and third consecutive day AF. Ten more days on the road and I am home to my longsuffering husband and dog. My story is that I travel a lot for work-- the business dinners, and work meetings over a glass of wine, the free wine in the airport clubs and on the planes all added up to a bottle+ consumption per night. Not a life I want to lead.

                    To avoid wine tonight I treated myself to a massage -- needed to do something to stay away from the hotel restaurant. Tomorrow my plan is to workout during the difficult late afternoon/early evening when the cravings start.

                    For now, I am just trying to come up with a plan for the next day. But today is finished and I did not drink alcohol today. Hurrah!
                    Free at Last
                    "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                    Highly recommend this video
                    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                    July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                      free at last;1467956 wrote: Thanks to all for your great posts today -- a great deal of encouragement all around. Tonight is day six in a hotel and third consecutive day AF. Ten more days on the road and I am home to my longsuffering husband and dog. My story is that I travel a lot for work-- the business dinners, and work meetings over a glass of wine, the free wine in the airport clubs and on the planes all added up to a bottle+ consumption per night. Not a life I want to lead.

                      To avoid wine tonight I treated myself to a massage -- needed to do something to stay away from the hotel restaurant. Tomorrow my plan is to workout during the difficult late afternoon/early evening when the cravings start.

                      For now, I am just trying to come up with a plan for the next day. But today is finished and I did not drink alcohol today. Hurrah!
                      Wow, Free. You have to face situations regularly that some of us get to opt out of in the early days. You really have to be strong. A massage sounds like a fabulous idea in any case and especially as a substitute for a date with AL! (Being the hedonist I am, I would choose that for my AL -avoidance plan as often as possible).

                      I hope the remainder of your trip is a breeze in every way!

                      - NS

                      Comment


                        #71
                        Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                        Thanks, No Sugar, for your understanding and words of encouragement. I wish I could just hole up somewhere for a month but it is not an option for me. Having a plan helped me today -- when the urge for "just a glass of wine" came up at 6pm, I drank lots of water, went for a swim, and then a pedicure. Now, the craving has past and I can say Day 4 AF. Greetings to all on this link -- keep strong.
                        Free at Last
                        "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                        Highly recommend this video
                        http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                        July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                          free at last;1468430 wrote: Thanks, No Sugar, for your understanding and words of encouragement. I wish I could just hole up somewhere for a month but it is not an option for me. Having a plan helped me today -- when the urge for "just a glass of wine" came up at 6pm, I drank lots of water, went for a swim, and then a pedicure. Now, the craving has past and I can say Day 4 AF. Greetings to all on this link -- keep strong.
                          Hi, Free.

                          You sound like me -- there is a certain time window to get past and once you do that, it is generally ok. For me, a drink during that window is a disaster because it inevitably leads to way too much!
                          It is like having a circadian rhythm for alcohol or something.

                          Several times recently I have noticed that it is ~ 5 pm and am so amazed because I am used to AL's Nasty Voice starting at between 3 and 4 pm and so by 5 pm I would be either having a drink or struggling not to. I was VERY aware of time in the late afternoons.

                          So now, the physical/psychological/whatever their source cravings I feel occur only from ~ 5pm til 7pm and they are not nearly as intense as before. I'm hoping that with time that window narrows and narrows and finally DISAPPEARS!

                          Between feeling good and waking up early in the morning and not fighting or succumbing to AL in the late afternoons, I'm gaining so many hours in the day! Fortunately I have a lot of interests and hobbies that have been on the back-burner (thanks to stupid AL the idiot) and I'm really enjoying getting back into those.

                          Hope you think of a great adventure for tomorrow afternoon that will keep AL away! Congratulations on 4 successful AF days and good luck with # 5.

                          All the best, NS

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                            Quick few lines

                            A very quick check-in!

                            Thanks for your encouragement 4thekids ? it is much appreciated ? hope that you are doing well.

                            Well done Free ? that is amazing ? I love the idea of a massage, swim and pedicure ? that is much better than Al ? I think you are amazing, with all that temptation in front of you and you have walked away from it all - another day standing tall ? Congratulations!

                            Nearly 10:30 here, it?s been a busy day and we are just getting the kids to bed and they have school tomorrow, so night, night from me, just wanted to check in to say all is OK here.

                            Courage to all :l

                            Snowflake
                            AF ? DAY 14
                            If you don't know where you are going,
                            you'll end up someplace else.

                            Comment


                              #74
                              Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                              Congratulations on 2 weeks of success, Snowflake!

                              Comment


                                #75
                                Company needed for Day 1 - Please and Thanks

                                Hello Everyone, Just popping in to say Hi!I am back on Day 1 again for the 100th time Done 6 weeks af in 2012 but am now up to my old habits, a bottle or 2 a day of wine!! Will the madness ever end?

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X