Slipped.

[Mootsbill]

Slipped.

Red please don't give in, if we all managed to quit the booze so easily it wouldn't be a problem. Loads of us have fallen a million times, but you know you can do it and so go ahead and start again ASAP.
Don't think about the ex, if she truly is an ex then it's over, time to move on, think of yourself and your future. We all have poor me moments, but we have to put it in perspective, people go through horrendous things in their lives and stay away from the bottle so it is not your ex making you drink you are right it is an excuse, I know because I have thousands of excuses when I fail ;0)
Keep posting and get back in the wagon good luck and hugs

[DimensionDrifter]

Slipped.

My new Gold!

Hi rednose.. I'm in full detox right now.. I'm only posting because im so toxic I cant even fall asleep.. I just got to remember this feeling! This is the only feeling that will stop me in the future! I always go a few months, get strong and slip! But I will lay here tonight sick as a dog and suffer! And I will remember this is the only place the party leads leads me to.. I'm so angry with myself right now for slipping again! But in a few days, I will actually get good REM sleep! I never thought I would appreciate anything so much as simple as REM sleep! But believe me when I say it's worth more to me than GOLD right now!

[Byrdlady]

Slipped.

Red, I drank AT people and ate AT people my whole life....what happened? I began a fat drunk. When someone hurt me, I wanted to retreat into a bottle...this was my safe place and my only coping skill. I'll show THEM! Right, they didn't give a shit, it was my liver suffering for it all!
So if you have woken up with the G/S/R Brothers (Guilt/Shame/Remorse) for your last time, climb back up. Now you know that you CAN go without AL, AND you know a serious trigger...but more than that, you now know AL doesn't make anything go away...it only makes a problem worse. So if you can come out of this with knowledge, all is NOT lost. So let's begin again, this time, with feeling! (as my old piano teacher used to say). You got this...we'll be right here with you. I'll PM you my cell phone if you need to text or call...I will NOT let you fall. Kapeesh? Byrdie

[Glass Half Empty]

Slipped.

Rednose read through all your previous posts and remember how bad you felt when you drank and how fantastic you felt when you didn't.

So far, you've only had a minor slip and it won't be too hard to recover. Please throw the gin out and don't make it any harder on yourself. I want to start reading those fantastic feeling posts again. :h

[sweetpea29]

Slipped.

Hey Red, glad you checked-in here, i cant add any more advice than what everyone else has already said. Just hope you dont give-up or stop trying. You are not a failure or weakling:l

[Byrdlady]

Slipped.

Great point, Glass....yep, that gin's gotta go! No, you don't need a safey net...that is when you plan to fail...you are planning to succeed!! Get all the AL out of your space! Surround yourself with stuff you love to eat and do. Go to bed early if you have to, do whatever it takes to get Day 1 done and dusted. Rinse and repeat. B

[NoSugar]

Slipped.

Red,

I've been following you and admire you very much.

Your trip was a very stressful one on several levels and you did not drink any of those nights even though you wanted to. You were proud of yourself.

Maybe on the way home, the removal of the acute stress you were under helped you relax a bit and you inadvertently dropped your anti-AL Shield. Without that defense in place, the upsetting email triggered the old responses and you made a mistake.

Ok, so you made a mistake. Done.

Pour away the gin that is in your freezer and start again. You don't have to wonder IF you can do it because you have already shown yourself (and us) that you can. And you can wake up each morning as you have been for several days before today feeling good and feeling good about yourself.

There is a crew here cheering for you and wanting to help!

[Wildflowers]

Slipped.

I to drank at people, places & things. Amongst a whole host of other reasons. Until I learned, like others to love me first!... I no longer allow anyone, or anything to hold power over me, that will push me to the bottle. It's hard Red sometimes. During the Holidays I came close a few times to picking up, but I didn't! I was pushed by others in my life, along with some medical issues I have & other stresses.

Even last summer when I was newly sober, my hubs pushed me hard a few times & I pushed back. I almost left a restaurant with others sitting there. I found my voice, along with knowing the truth, the facts about how damaging alcohol is for myself.

Running, hiding, escaping in the bottle is only a temporary fix. One that will ultimately destroy me inside & out! This is the truth! It does no good, only harms those of us who are either alkies or are abusing alcohol. The real truth is just how good this life without alcohol really is! Not perfect, but no life is. Still so much better then it was before!... It keeps getting better. Even the hard times, well that's life.... It's real, not fake, numbed with booze.... I can deal with it they way it's suppose to be. Yeah, it hurts sometimes real bad to.... I'd still rather be sober thru it all! It's worth it Red!

You can do it Red!... We all can if we choose!... Most of us need some type of support system. Keep posting people here care & want you around! Everyone is wanted here at MWO! :h

[jenniech]

Slipped.

Red:
I have been trying for a couple of years to stop altogether. In the beginning I slipped almost daily. Then slowly I thought more and more about how it was affecting me and those around me and I began to build an arsenal. I have still slipped since August, but I have built up many sober references so I use those and I am getting better at staying AF. Since August I have many more AF days than not. It IS a PROCESS....think about how long you drank...you can't expect these old habits to just die off. The fact that you feel so awful about it means you really want a sober, happy and free life. So, take the time you need but come back as soon as possible. We will be waiting for you. If you don't come back, know that we will all miss you and worry about you!!!

:l

[Oneredshoe]

Slipped.

[QUOTE=rednose;1462272]Ok, Time to man up...

I was flying all day, I got up at 3:30 am east coast time and got to San Fran and got an email from my ex that really upset me and hurt me. I know poor baby Life happens.
Anyway the next thing I knew I was walking towards the bar and I ordered a double gin and tonic. I sat there for the longest time before I took a drink and thought to my self "What the hell are you doing?" then after about 5 minutes I took a drink and drank it down. I then proceeded to pay the bartender and walked to the gate and sat down and wondered to myself why the f--k did I do that over a woman who does not give a shit about me. Or was I just using it as an excuse to drink. I have not figured out the answer to that yet.
I got to the airport in my state and drove to the liquor store and bought myself a pint of gin and drove home. Then made a drink and drank it, made another and drank half of it and went to bed.
I only drank ? of the bottle which is still in the freezer. I like my gin ice cold.
I woke up with a huge headache and with the feelings of guilt and shame and was really pissed at myself for blowing 16 days AF.
So here I am with another tool to beat myself up with. Loser, weakling, drunk, and many more that don't come to mind at the moment.

Honestly don?t know if I want to start over again. I have enough tools in my tool
Box to beat myself with.

So there you have it in a nutshell. I failed and I am disappointed in myself.

Disappointed

rednose [/QUOTE

Red....did you read Hippymans thread that I pasted here for you? " Newbies if you Stumble"
You slipped....it has happened to the majority of us and somewhere along our journey to becoming alcohol free it may or may not happen again. It is a process....not a pass or fail! So come on, what do you say. How about dumping out the bottle and get back up on your 2 AF feet. We are all right here waiting for you!

[aihflvt]

Slipped.

Nice to know I'm not the only one that slipped. I'm been having ongoing serious marital problems. The alcohol doesn't help, but that's not the root of the problem. Anyway, last Wednesday after a particularly upsetting argument, I decided to tune her out. I kept the binging under control until Saturday, when I was free to drink all day, and that got me back on the continuously drunk merry-go-round where you wake up still trashed and take a nip to make yourself feel a little better. Had to dry out to go back to work, so here I'm back again on day 2, feeling like shit physically and psychologically. And of course not only the problems I thought I was escaping have not gone away, realizing I wasted three days I could have been dealing with it in a drunken stupor only adds to the anxiety that comes with the physical detox symptoms.

[jIMMYDAMA]

Slipped.

Red please hang in there, we are all in this together, you can beat this!
I believe in you, but you have to believe in you!

[K9Lover]

Slipped.

Thinking of you Red :l

[Icanwithoutacan]

Slipped.

Red, if you want to hop back on why not just count AF days out of total days so now hopefully you'd have 16/17 like I can't remember who but someone who didn't want to start over at. Day 1? That might make it easier for you to jump in again.... Shoot 16 days AF out of 17 is nothing to balk at!!!!!

[Wildflowers]

Slipped.

aihflvt;1462408 wrote: Nice to know I'm not the only one that slipped. I'm been having ongoing serious marital problems. The alcohol doesn't help, but that's not the root of the problem. Anyway, last Wednesday after a particularly upsetting argument, I decided to tune her out. I kept the binging under control until Saturday, when I was free to drink all day, and that got me back on the continuously drunk merry-go-round where you wake up still trashed and take a nip to make yourself feel a little better. Had to dry out to go back to work, so here I'm back again on day 2, feeling like shit physically and psychologically. And of course not only the problems I thought I was escaping have not gone away, realizing I wasted three days I could have been dealing with it in a drunken stupor only adds to the anxiety that comes with the physical detox symptoms.

It's all part of the process for most people to slip & feel bad Aihflvt. It's what you do after that matters most. Alcohol abuse, alcoholism, addiction affects everyone it touches not just the person who's drinking it. Yes, sometimes there are underlying symptoms of other things that need to be treated imo.

I don't know if your marriage is salvageable or not. I can tell you that putting the drink behind you & some professional counseling may likely help. At least you will become healthier. If your both willing to work things out, maybe things will improve. Things do look different for many once alcohol is out of the picture. Alcohol as you know will only cause you more anxiety & confusion.

We had far to much invested into our marriage to call it quits. We are both to blame for our problems & alcohol made things worse. We are happier then we've been in years.

Wishing you the best outcome in whatever you choose. Which you have already learned alcohol isn't a good choice.