So Broken

[Siren136]

I feel so alone right now. And so very broken. Thats the only way i can describe it is broken and perhaps defeated. Nobody in my life knows the extent of what I am going through. No one know the truth. Different people know pieces of the truth but I don't trust anyone with the whole truth. How sad is that? I didn't even get a hug for Valentines Day. I shouldn't be surprised, there is no affection in our marriage. I'm so lost. I thought the love my husband felt for me would be forever, because that's what I meant when I married him. I know I did everything I could do so why do I continue to blame myself?

I'm just crying so much. I know I'll be ok, but right now I am so sad about my life.

[kuya]

So Broken

Have a good cry Siren, because the situation warrants it.

Your heart is broken, but YOU are mending.

When you are done crying, you will feel better or you will sleep. But you will not die.

Tomorrow you will be the newer you, I promise.

Keep strong my love, be brave. :l:l






Or, put more simply.......fuck him !

[Siren136]

So Broken

I lied. Persephone challenged me to be brave. I DON'T know that I will be ok.

[patrice]

So Broken

Hi Siren ..I so feel for you, my heart is also broken albeit for a different reason. Being lonely in a marriage is 100 times worse than being alone. Gather your strength because this too will pass and when the time is right, that butterfly will emerge and those wings sure can fly ( not to mention dazzle with their beauty)

Take care
Patrice
x

[SKendall]

So Broken

Siren, I also received no Valentine's gifts, cards or affections. It sucks, but tomorrow Valentine's day will beover tomorrow and do as Kuya suggested, a good cry is always the beginning of healing.:l:l

[kuya]

So Broken

Siren136;1463018 wrote: I lied. Persephone challenged me to be brave. I DON'T know that I will be ok.

But you already know you are brave. You are here, you have quit.

You thought it was forever.......join the club

You may not KNOW you will be OK, but the trail of broken hearts throughout the millennia which have healed and moved on should give you some hope.

This stuff hurts, that's why we call it heartache, or broken hearted. We DON'T call it heart death though......do we?

[Elliesmom]

So Broken

Siren, even though you didn't receive any cards or hugs, please know you are cared about. I just posted something along those lines in the Nest. A friend of mine said something to me once when I was in a place very similar to where you are at today, feeling very unloved, hopeless and un-needed: "You are a deeply loved person and are deeply cared for --- for reasons that have nothing to do with being married to someone."

Try to hang onto the love around you from family and friends, and feel the virtual support and care from your friends here.

:h

Elliesmom

[Persephone1]

So Broken

Hi Darlin',

Not sure what your post meant re: me challenging you to be brave. You are clearly brave :happyheart: And you are deeply cared for. There are so many here who support you, no matter what. I am sorry your heart is so heavy right now, but you are not alone in it. :l

[Snowflake]

So Broken

Sending belated Valentine Hugs your way Siren

Dear Siren

You had kind encouraging words for me on my Day 1 ? I thank you again for that ? I can?t help you as much as I would like to ? but for my part I just want to send you lots of hugs, kind thoughts and courage ? I am so very sorry that you are hurting the way you are, it just sucks.

So, just to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending my Best Wishes your way ? Please don?t stay feeling defeated ? have a good cry and let it all out, you have amazing friends and support here and I know their love, friendship and support will get you through this difficult time, please stay strong, for yourself, it will get better, it really will.

Snowflake:l

[JeffyJeff]

So Broken

Hey Siren,

Hang in there. I too am in a pretty bad marriage (albeit the other side). I actually bought flowers brought them in with the kids at the table. Kids were looking for Mom's reaction when she came in, she didn't say a word and said who bought the pineapple? (it was sitting next to the flowers). My 10 year old daughter said, Dad bought you flowers, she said, oh thanks. LOL nice.

Anyway, love yourself this Valentines day, that's your best gift. You are doing something for you. Let the chips fall where they are. I know you know AL doesn't make it better just more depressed. Hang in there, love yourself.

[Hippyman]

So Broken

Siren136;1463009 wrote: I feel so alone right now. And so very broken. Thats the only way i can describe it is broken and perhaps defeated. Nobody in my life knows the extent of what I am going through. No one know the truth. Different people know pieces of the truth but I don't trust anyone with the whole truth. How sad is that? I didn't even get a hug for Valentines Day. I shouldn't be surprised, there is no affection in our marriage. I'm so lost. I thought the love my husband felt for me would be forever, because that's what I meant when I married him. I know I did everything I could do so why do I continue to blame myself?

I'm just crying so much. I know I'll be ok, but right now I am so sad about my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD6o49Uqv10[/video]]FREE HUGS NYC - xgobobeanx - YouTube Here is a free hug. I felt the way you are feeling right now and I turned around by seeing how I could be of service to others who had it way worse than I did. Helping others helped me. Every town needs volunteers. Your community has "HELPLESS" people and animals that just need to know someone cares. :l

[Honeysoup]

So Broken

Lots of love and hugs your way! "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger". Today is a new day, be kind to yourself and do something that makes you feel good whether its for someone else or for you.

Hugs and kisses!

[rednose]

So Broken

Siren136;1463009 wrote: I feel so alone right now. And so very broken. Thats the only way i can describe it is broken and perhaps defeated. Nobody in my life knows the extent of what I am going through. No one know the truth. Different people know pieces of the truth but I don't trust anyone with the whole truth. How sad is that? I didn't even get a hug for Valentines Day. I shouldn't be surprised, there is no affection in our marriage. I'm so lost. I thought the love my husband felt for me would be forever, because that's what I meant when I married him. I know I did everything I could do so why do I continue to blame myself?

I'm just crying so much. I know I'll be ok, but right now I am so sad about my life.

Siren

Wow what a brave and honest person you are. To be able to get on here and post what you posted makes me feel special to be a part of this group.
I to have a hard time with being lonely but I am slowly, and believe me when I say slowly learning to love myself and be ok with being alone.
If you don't trust anyone with the whole truth maybe going to a professional and spilling your guts to them might help.
Or if you are a church person maybe someone in the church or the pastor would be a safe person.
I am lucky I am not an every sunday go to church guy but the Pastor I met and became friends with told me stories of his life that would shock almost anyone.

Be strong, you have been very supportive of me and I am here if you ever need an a ear to listen.

rednose. :l

[decided]

So Broken

I'm glad your talking about it. Its such a hard feeling to face especially now that your working on your sobriety. I went through similar feelings early on. Your hanging in and that's so valuable.

[cathysgottastop]

So Broken

Awww I'm sorry siren. Shame on him. I'm sorry that happened to you. Thank you for talking about it. So many great caring understanding people here that's for sure