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**freethinker** · February 15, 2013, 11:53 PM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

This is a good way to be mindful of the realities that our drinking blinds us to. i haven't had too many episodes like this but I am ashamed of the ones I have had. I've definitely hit the bed many, many times with more booze swimming in me than a responsible person should have. Thanks for the insight Marty.

**TheSunFlower** · February 16, 2013, 12:28 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

I like how you can see it....never really dabbled in this game.

**Icanwithoutacan** · February 16, 2013, 12:42 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

If I had drunk tonight when tempted:

First: : ahhhh lovely feeling of that first beer; happy and getting to socialize w hubs like before
1 hour: 2 beers in but aggravated because I want more but have to drive my girls to the movies; make the deal w hubs that ill bring them if he'll pick up
2 hours: 3-4 beers; starting to get buzzed.... Aggravated w hubs bc he looks tired what if he can't pick up?
3 hours: sneaking 5-6th beers ; starting to slur and get aggravated w other kids for interrupting my drunk
5 hours: hubs leaves ; get 7-8th down .... Aggravated w other kids and yelling to go to bed
Trying to hide slurring and confusion from hubs n kids when get back
Wake up w headache, mad, tired.... Do nothing Saturday but can't wait til 5 to start again

Yep that woulda sucked.... Glad I'm sober

**NewOne** · February 16, 2013, 02:04 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

my weekend day was something like this:
Get up in the morning & pop one after a few cups of coffee.
3-4 hours feeling all good. Doing 'stuff'. Tidying up, cleaning the car, walking the dog, feeding the birds la la la, hanging out with the bf. Tipsy, buzzy, social.

5-6 hours making a dinner for us. Enter the Drunken Haze at about this time.
7-8 hours, eating (or not) cleaning up, groggy, head upstairs, maybe drink some more, pass out.

Get up 3 in the morning, feel like shit, sit in front of the computer, go back to bed about 6. Wake up & do it all over again.

Except sometimes around somewhere the 5 to 8 hour, sometimes things can go to hell. If something sets me off I can go into slamming door mode & some nasty crap can come out of my mouth. The morning afters are always a swear off that lasted about a day.

Now that I think about it, my week days pretty much went the same except the BF works evening shift & I just pass out.

Man, that gave me freaking flashbacks. Shudder.

**Persephone1** · February 16, 2013, 02:29 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

Shudder is right...My LAST DRUNK is all I need to remind me...

Sat and drank 6 beers in row, one after the next, with the specific goal of sending myself in oblivion...

About an hour and 1/2 later, wasted, stumbling, then falling (I know this because of the bruises), eating (inhaling) who knows what?, passing out...

Waking up about 6 hours later; did I talk to anyone like that? Check my phone, FB posts. Shit, can't remember what I said...dehydrated, mouth like sand paper, head pounding, throw up, pass out again...

Wake up a few hours later wishing I were dead, really. So fucking tired of the same 'ol bullshit. Just NOT FUN AT ALL anymore! This is g-damn stupid.

I am done. Don't miss it. AT ALL.

BTW Martye, this is a grand idea for those looking for incentive. All these wretched experiences lined up in a pretty little row...Thanks mate.

**martye** · February 16, 2013, 02:47 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

Thanks all, I am sure everyone else would love to hear some more stories of "playing to the end"

**Mootsbill** · February 16, 2013, 05:00 PM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

Last particular bad for me was;

2 hours in bottle of vino down enjoying food with friends while kids play
4 hours down another half bottle done, chatty, dancing still happy
6 hours in friends leave, hubby and kids in bed drink another bottle of vino to myself, tidy house, start listening to music and dancing around by myself!
8 hours in off to bed very drunk pass out
14 hours in wake up still drunk feeling shaky and sick
Kids need to be at school so take paracetamol and water drive kids to school, no doubt still over limit
Get home shakes kicking in have a small wine to take edge of, this then continues throughout the day.
Hubby away for night so invite a girlfriend over so have excuse to drink
Drink all evening while kids in bed
Wake up with an even worse hangover, have a business meeting, neck a couple of shots to take edge of get through meeting with mints to hand! IDIOT
So we are now 48 hours into the drunk
Try to get myself out of it, lots of painkillers, water etc, can't eat
Drink another bottle of vino that evening so I can sleep, hubby home he knows I've been drinking, he's pissed off! This makes me more anxious
Sleep that night, wake up at 6am nausea, shakes, anxiety like hell
Take daughter to school, spend morning at home throwing up, pacing around, almost hallucinating, panicking.
Eventually call my mum who comes round to help me through it and look after the kids.
Since then I've had one drunken evening, and then 47 days sober.

Great thread, I'm going to keep looking back at it

**Kradle123** · February 16, 2013, 07:04 PM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

Awesome Thread Martye.

I read a post several months ago in which he person had been AF for a long time and at the start of the post they describe going to the pub after work, turning left to go in and then the aftermath..which was a blow by blow of their disintegration...and as i was reading i am thinking, 'shit! They had a lot of good AF time and then this...yikes! I was felt awful.

Well fast forward to the end in which he SAYS...'That would have been the ending to my story but I turned RIGHT instead of left and so ended up at home, all safe and sound...'

It was really effective.

:l:h

**patrice** · February 16, 2013, 08:54 PM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

This was a while ago before my failed moderation but this was:

My Weekend

Sat: Wake up hungover but happy it's the weekend
9.am - quick coffee
9.05 - beer or wine
10.00 - son hungry. Boil some eggs, quick easy. More beer or wine for me
11.00 - starting to sweat, hungry so more beer/wine
12.00 - drive to get more beer wine. Son hungry so buy him some junk.
1.00- 3.00 - mindlessly drinking smoking on computer. Write witty comments on FB (NOT)
3.00 - son bored. Me angry he is bored. ' Well find something to do'. Mum he says ' Can you play Monopoly with me. Me ' No can't you see I'm working!!! ( NOT, reading crap on Internet)
5.00 - Feeling like shite now, sweating, can't eat because too much liquid in stomach.
6.00 - son hungry. Me very annoyed ' Look, when are you going to learn how to cook' ( He's 6 years old

).Make instant noodles. ( the fridge is full of healthy food going rotten)
7.00 - getting depressed now. The day is nearly gone and I've done FA.
8.00 - tell son to go to bed. No need to bath.
8.30- have some crackers. Beer wine running out. Panic a bit.
9.00 - get son out of bed, walk to shop. more beer wine. Bribe son with sweets.
10.30 -lying on couch. House looks like a pig sty. Stinks of cigarettes.
11.00 - pass out on couch
3.00am - wake up and go to bed.

Sunday
8.00 - wake up feeling like death. Scream at son to turn the cartoons down.
One beer left from last night. Don't bother with coffee, drink it down and say well I will just have this and then that's that.
8.30 - son hungry, me annoyed. ' Why are you always hungry!!!!'
9.00 - beer gone. Sit on couch thinking.
9.01 - in the car on the way to the shop. Oh well I'll just do this ONE more day then I'll stop. :upset::upset:......

A lot of weekends used to be like that. Writing this down makes me feel sick
but is a great reminder of where I will never go again

Take care all
Patrice

**moni** · February 17, 2013, 05:39 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

This was the last time I ever drank.

5pm - leave work and feeling quite high and happy for a change.
6pm - In supermarket, decide I will have a glass of wine this evening so buy a bottle
7pm - Drinking the wine quickly while on the phone talking shit to a friend
8pm - Bottle finished, visit a neighbour to try and distract myself drinking more
8.30pm - decide to go to supermarket for more wine
9pm - stop off at chinese restaurant for takeaway and end up sitting at their bar drinking wine
10pm- recall flirtting with some woman's husband and making a complete fool of myself
11pm - pretty much blank.
unknown time - Speaking to emergency person on phone who is advising me what to do until the ambulance arrives. This is the only part of the evening I recall clearly.
Unkown time following day - Wake up with tubes coming out my nose, throat and IV's in my arms.
I'm in intensive care following a near fatal overdose.

**satz123** · February 17, 2013, 06:47 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

patrice;1464065 wrote: This was a while ago before my failed moderation but this was:

My Weekend

Sat: Wake up hungover but happy it's the weekend
9.am - quick coffee
9.05 - beer or wine
10.00 - son hungry. Boil some eggs, quick easy. More beer or wine for me
11.00 - starting to sweat, hungry so more beer/wine
12.00 - drive to get more beer wine. Son hungry so buy him some junk.
1.00- 3.00 - mindlessly drinking smoking on computer. Write witty comments on FB (NOT)
3.00 - son bored. Me angry he is bored. ' Well find something to do'. Mum he says ' Can you play Monopoly with me. Me ' No can't you see I'm working!!! ( NOT, reading crap on Internet)
5.00 - Feeling like shite now, sweating, can't eat because too much liquid in stomach.
6.00 - son hungry. Me very annoyed ' Look, when are you going to learn how to cook' ( He's 6 years old

).Make instant noodles. ( the fridge is full of healthy food going rotten)
7.00 - getting depressed now. The day is nearly gone and I've done FA.
8.00 - tell son to go to bed. No need to bath.
8.30- have some crackers. Beer wine running out. Panic a bit.
9.00 - get son out of bed, walk to shop. more beer wine. Bribe son with sweets.
10.30 -lying on couch. House looks like a pig sty. Stinks of cigarettes.
11.00 - pass out on couch
3.00am - wake up and go to bed.

Sunday
8.00 - wake up feeling like death. Scream at son to turn the cartoons down.
One beer left from last night. Don't bother with coffee, drink it down and say well I will just have this and then that's that.
8.30 - son hungry, me annoyed. ' Why are you always hungry!!!!'
9.00 - beer gone. Sit on couch thinking.
9.01 - in the car on the way to the shop. Oh well I'll just do this ONE more day then I'll stop. :upset::upset:......

A lot of weekends used to be like that. Writing this down makes me feel sick
but is a great reminder of where I will never go again

Take care all
Patrice

Oh Patrice & others . Thanks for baring all.
When I read this I started the " oh well I have never started at 8am" in my head.
But I know that is only because I couldn't as my husband & adult children would see it.
But with the hangover you describe - I would wait all day & manipulate the day's activities - so that I could start Sunday drinking as soon as possible.

I have started to use the 'play the story to the end' strategy and it works brilliantly.
I still am fairly new to the AF game - and the "I'm not that bad - I can have a couple of wines & stop " thoughts are there - but I will work on eradicating those!
The stories here will help towards that -

THANKS EVERYONE :l

**patrice** · February 17, 2013, 07:00 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

Hiya Satz. I do hasten to add that this was my very worst times,just after my father died 9 months ago... and lasted for about 3 months ( not Every weekend).... Would have lasted a LOT longer had I not felt paralysing guilt for my son. ( Jeez, hope no one from social services is reading!!!). Guess I want to remind myself of the worst and what I am capable of.

**lizker** · February 17, 2013, 11:59 AM

Feel like drinking – play the story to the end.

3am Sunday. Wake up dehydrated unable to go back to sleep.
Open 22ounce of ice beer and drink it real quick. Start watching
Tv and open another one to be sipping on while I wait the
1st one to work.
4 am getting warmed up and and feeling 'relaxed'.
5am. Take a shot of vodka while still sipping.
7am extremely happy calling my drink buddies.
9am Buddies arrive with more ice beers and vodka.
11am taking shots and beer, cooking drunken
barbecue playing loud music.
3pm Everybody passed out after eating.
5pm getting up feeling like poop. 2 beers to feel
'normal'.
8 Pm buddies leave. Drink the rest vodka and beer. Save
one for monday morning.
12am pass out. Wake up 3am and stay up till
6am. Get out of bed looking like someone mopped
the floor with my face. Take the 22 ounce I saved for the
shakes. Brush my teeth twice and use mouth wash to hide
the smell and hope I don't come in close contact with anyone
especially in the elevator.
The day is absolute hell! Can't wait to get off to come home
to take 2beers for the hang over. I spend the miserable day
trying to come up with ways to stop drinking. I surf the net
read books but feel absolutely lost. I resign to the fact
that this my life and only with death will I be set free.
God had other plans. Day 37 beer free and day 41 vodka free
today.

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