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    #1

    Bitter sweet goodbye

    This is so ironic. I used to reward my self with a good binge of
    alcohol whenever I accomplished anything. For the first time
    in 15 years I am over 44 days AF and want to celebrate this accomplishment
    with my best friend alc but its the death of this very friend iam celebrating.
    I am coming up with new ways to reward myself like spending more time
    at the gym but there is still a void. I guess time will heal that wound.
    Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1
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    #2
    Bitter sweet goodbye

    You bet that void will fill. After some time, you will wonder what all the AL fuss is about. This DOES take time, however. But we've got time, since we just added several years to our life span! Keep up the good work, you will never regret one day you spend sober!!! B
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #3
      Bitter sweet goodbye

      lizker;1468295 wrote: This is so ironic. I used to reward my self with a good binge of
      alcohol whenever I accomplished anything. For the first time
      in 15 years I am over 44 days AF and want to celebrate this accomplishment
      with my best friend alc but its the death of this very friend iam celebrating.
      I am coming up with new ways to reward myself like spending more time
      at the gym but there is still a void. I guess time will heal that wound.
      I went through this EXACT same thing yesterday on my 30 day goal. I fought a war with it all afternoon, but put other things in place to celebrate. It was a battle, but I won. I know now that the association is strong and will take effort to change my associations and emotions to other healthier choices. I shopped (trigger battle to not stop in to say hello to some folks) and then came home and cooked myself a very nice meal. It was heaven to me. I had purchased some new things for my home and put them all round and had gone to get some healthier eating choices. I'm logging out now to do my yoga routine. It's work, but you have to find things to fill in that void. They won't just magically appear. You have to start adding them in while you fight the urge. In time, I believe new habits and associations will fill in that void.:l Thanks for the post as I left mine on the NN. It caught me off guard.
      Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

      Comment

        #4
        Bitter sweet goodbye

        Hang in there lizker. It's hard to end a relationship, even an unhealthy one. We have been battered by alc but we kept going back.
        I had such cravings today as I perused a cooking magazine and saw tall cold beers in the background. I could easily see how I could talk myself into having a "couple cold ones".
        It's like a death or divorce, really. It takes time to get over and live without, no matter how bad it was.
        Day 1 again 11/5/19
        Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
        Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
        Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
        11/27/19: messed up but back on track
        12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

        One day at a time.

        Comment

          #5
          Bitter sweet goodbye

          Thanks B, SLF and Nur for the positive feedback. Off days are
          especially trying as I have the time but BFF is missing. Hanging out here
          really does make a difference. Only at MWO can I be me and share
          things I could never tell another human being.
          Ms B you're a true blessing to this site. Nursie I totally
          relate to that. Iam flipping channels and just about every show
          has people drinking and actually seem happy and I am
          like why can't that be me? I surely iam not as bad as I used
          to be? But then I start to play the vicious cycle that will
          unfold if I even dare entertain the thought and I stop myself cold.
          Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

          Comment

            #6
            Bitter sweet goodbye

            :hallo: How u doin' today Lizker?
            "People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."
            
? Audrey Hepburn, Actress and Philanthropist :heart:

            Comment

              #7
              Bitter sweet goodbye

              Persephone1;1468565 wrote: :hallo: How u doin' today Lizker?
              Hi P, today was excruciatingly brutal to put it lightly. Day 44 was tougher than day
              3 but iam still fighting. Almost out of the woods. That vodka was calling like
              you won't believe.
              Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

              Comment

                #8
                Bitter sweet goodbye

                Hi Lizker,

                Stay close when you are struggling. Someone is always around on the Newbie's Nest (under 'Just Starting Out') to offer support and encouragement. I also had some major struggles that took me by surprise, well into my quit. I thought the worst was behind me after the first week, but that is not always the case. A very hard day for me (I was lilterally getting my shoes on to go out and buy some) came Christmas Eve and I had 23 days. Luckily, I was logged on to My Way Out and started posting about it and the craving almost immediately passed. Thank God. I'm so glad now I didn't cave. As K9 always says: 'A craving never lasts as long as a hangover' and 'You'll never wake up the next morning and wish you had drank the night before'. Hang in there and share with us what is going on with you. We are here to help you and be there for you. Hugs!
                AF since 12/2/12
                http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

                Comment

                  #9
                  Bitter sweet goodbye

                  almost free;1468617 wrote: Hi Lizker,

                  Stay close when you are struggling. Someone is always around on the Newbie's Nest (under 'Just Starting Out') to offer support and encouragement. I also had some major struggles that took me by surprise, well into my quit. I thought the worst was behind me after the first week, but that is not always the case. A very hard day for me (I was lilterally getting my shoes on to go out and buy some) came Christmas Eve and I had 23 days. Luckily, I was logged on to My Way Out and started posting about it and the craving almost immediately passed. Thank God. I'm so glad now I didn't cave. As K9 always says: 'A craving never lasts as long as a hangover' and 'You'll never wake up the next morning and wish you had drank the night before'. Hang in there and share with us what is going on with you. We are here to help you and be there for you. Hugs!
                  Thanks for check on me Almost Free. It happens to be that time
                  of the month when hormones are out of whack. I guess it had
                  a lot to do with this rough day. Just had a bowl of chicken soup.
                  Will probably go to bed early day . Very thankful that I didn't cave in.
                  Weekdays are pretty busy and they pretty much fly by so I know i'll
                  fine after today.
                  Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

                  Comment

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