New Member And My Story

[Bobbyslife]

Hello to all, I am bobby a 35 year old male, who has been drinking non stop hard liquor day and night for a week now.
all this due to my girlfriend leaving me, Its been a week and I asked why she was going out more at night
she took offense to that and we arguaged all day at each other and I asked how many men have you been with, I know I should have not asked but I did want to make her mad like she was doing to me. She left after that and I have not heard from her at all.
I have been drinking every day all day all types of hard liquor to help this depression go away.
Now I want to stop, I am scared, shaky and feel bad, I just want to walk and buy another bottle of rum
I am glad I did find this site. I am reading all the messages and tools, and its somewhat helping.

[Starfish1]

New Member And My Story

Hey Bobby :l

Listen, now, that liquor is not going to solve one single thing for you. It will NOT make your problems go away. It will make them worse. Stick around here with us. We may not be able to help out with your lady problems, but we can sure help you give up the drink! I see you posted in the Newbies Nest. That's a great start. Loads of help over there! Be strong, Bobby. Do not go get anymore liquor.

[sparkler]

New Member And My Story

Hi Bobby. I'm very sorry to hear that. Definitely put down the alcohol and keep your chin up.

[sparkler]

New Member And My Story

Things will get better. Hang in there

[Bobbyslife]

New Member And My Story

thank you sparkler, oh these cravings are just as bad as the depression I get from thinking of her leaving. I know if I go get another bottle of rum tonight will make me forget about what happened.
did not think at age 35 I would let this control me like this. hard be depressed all night or keep drinking and somewhat in a better mood. the great help I am receiving from the people on this site is making it very much easier

[sparkler]

New Member And My Story

The people here are amazing. Do you like to drink to try to forget what happened? You sound in a lot of pain. I'm sorry for that

[Bobbyslife]

New Member And My Story

the drinking took away the pain of her leaving now that I stopped drinking the thinking about her has magnified itself much much greater and it creates these nasty urges.

[sparkler]

New Member And My Story

Can you try something to keep busy. To try to keep your mind off of her? I know your huting mentally but do you want tp also physically hurt yourself? I hope not. Its gonna take time a lot of time to start to heal. Don't give up on yourself

[Bobbyslife]

New Member And My Story

thank you sparkler for helping me out I wont hurt myself physically, though I know that alcohol is not something good for someone ur right it will take time and the alcohol is only temporarily taking it away I cant miss any more days of being unproductive

[sparkler]

New Member And My Story

That sounds positive. I went through something similar but while I was getting drunk everyday and depressed. I found out that he wasn't. Then I feel real dumb and foolish. The only one I was hurting was myself. You sound like a smart man

[kronkcarr]

New Member And My Story

Bobbyslife,

Hi. I was writing and reading something today that may help a little. I was writing about how in the past when I was in an emotion I thought I'd always be in that mood and it would last forever. It's called affective forecasting. The good news is that we're bad at it.

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman says, "Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you're thinking about it". He goes on to say that our brain circuitry turns our crises into mere blips with time and we're much more resilient than we think.

For me drinking just kept me in that crap thinking. Being sober has made my thinking so much clearer. Keep posting! Hang in there,

kronkcarr

[Kradle123]

New Member And My Story

Hi Bobby,

I had a few thoughts here. The first was...Thank Heavens that woman is out of your life !!

Consider This:

If you had a daughter and she called you up and told you that after a fight with her best friend, that friend was now calling your daughter and saying all kinds of crap and getting her other friends to call and harass your daughter....you would be incredibly pissed off..not worried about the best friend or that your daughter had lost the best friend ...which clearly she wasn't.....isn't.
I don't think that you would want a woman like that in any of your children's lives so I'm pretty certain you are much better off not having her in your own...dodged a bullet IMO ... What if you had had children with her... :wow:

The second speaks to your first post in which you sounded as though your drinking was entirely due to this break up : "I've been drinking non stop for a week after my girlfriend left..." I might be a bit anal here but My guess is that like a lot of us , AL contributed a lot to this situation over the long haul...

There's no debate that this woman is unstable and Cruel. Perhaps when you have some AL distance, it may help to consider she may not have been the best choice from the start for you...or your daughter...


:l

[lucylou1]

New Member And My Story

Hi Bobby....just remember that thoughts in your head are just thoughts....not reality. We all have continuous thoughts running constantly. If you think about it, its a little voice in your head talking to you all the time......You can move those thoughts aside and create new thoughts of a bright future without the bottle. I want to support you to not get another bottle. Just put on your tennis shoes and go for a brisk walk if the weather permits. The air feels sooooo good while your walking and your body will release natural endorphines......it does help; try it and hang in there and do not listen to the voice in your head.....it is not reality.